Blupig & Blupigs Introductory User Spam Forum Protection Services

Hello!

Do you get called a "fucking goat", a "muddy bronco weenie", or a "loyal to the game" on a regular basis?

Does your name change fucking suck?

Are you a ban evader, running from the likes of Big Rich and his super squad?

Do you seek asylum in the spam forum but are being called out for your inexplicable sexuality and indescribable body shape?

Are you an avid feminist seeking to go undercover in the underbelly of misogyny, and take it apart from the inside 1 male tear and 1 yearly salary argument at a time?

Well say no more!

Here at Blupig & Blupig, we strive to give you nothing but the best services at the best price. Our services are affordable and of the highest quality. You can rest assured that Big Rich and the Dream Team won't catch you until you inevitably fuck up and scam for $5.00 worth of Runescape coins (it was so worth it!).

We work hard to bring you the least-offensive cloaking and roasting services in the spam forum. We avoid using terms like "newfag" or "Accounts Shop" and instead prefer the terms "Introductory User" and "vader piece of shit" respectively. We aren't like the other guys. We're respectful and competent. Having Blupig & Blupig on your side will ensure that you will have the best and most fruitful ban evasion experience target-free.

Blupig is a revered and loved member of the Sythe dot org community. He has spent his entire life devoted to posting dank memes and serving YOU, the customer. He has extensive experience in the art of ban evasion and was even a member of Big Rich's butt squad for years! Now, his trade secrets and inside knowledge are yours for the low-low price of:

Bronze Tier ($0.05, 1 reward point): Blupig will personally jump to your defence. He'll threaten your attacker with classic evasive techniques such as the "I'll piss on your couch" and the "I have friends in the military" or the coveted mass-posting of a cat facing a horrible, flesh-toned sofa chair.

Silver Tier ($600.00, 2 reward points): Blupig and his associate Blupig will tag-team your attacker and ensure that double-penetration is on the plate. They will be relentless and unlubricated for maximum friction. With the silver tier, you gain access to all the bronze tier rewards as well.

Gold Tier ($7.50, 3 reward points): Blupig and his associate Blupig will personally create a thread for you, praising you and your obviously massive testicles. Providing a vouch for a massive penis costs extra. Providing a vouch that the massive testicles are not cancerous also costs extra. With the gold tier, you gain access to all the bronze and silver tier rewards as well.


Rewards points: Sucking Blupig's absolutely massive, non-cancerous testicles will provide you with 1 reward point that can be used toward a higher tier service!

So don't think. Act now!

Thanks to our very first gold tier member!


In regards to the recent allegations of Loyal to the Game and Nod scamming with their service:

We pride ourselves on retaining 100% legitimacy through our competitor's ordeal.

 

You've just made some powerful business rivals, Pig. Nod and I are going to fuck your shit up.

 

As an "Introductory User", you're entitled to the following benefits:
- No benefits because fuck you suck it

 

Quality threads today.

 

Climate change isn't real

 

Dank post

 

I wish I could tear up the paint doodle I gave Dan. Fucking muddy broco weenie lookin' ass.

 

Where do I sign up

 

Gtfo blueshit.

 

yOU COME INTO MY THREAD AND USE THAT LANGUAGE?

I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth, you foul beast

 

You better step the fuck back, Playboy. We run this shit: we say what we want, where we want, to who want, and ain't not PUNK ASS BITCHES like you gon' tell us we can't.

BTW: I kiss ya mom's button with this mouth playuh. Learn about it.

 

it's not too late for a merger

your company is in the shitter I already have customers lining up for tier 3 with 20 extra rewards points

have you nutted yet because of your business plan? unlikely

get real

EDIT: someone's already bought gold, check my OP

suck it bitch

 

Y'aight piggy boy. I'll buy a gold

 

contact on skype

 

accept my contact

 

gold tier price has gone up due to popular demand

 

why isnt this in the market section?

 

Sent my payment, haven't received services. Will file report now.

 

Time to reload the arsenal of weapons for the super squad

 

Fuckin newfags man.. Hate em