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Bullet Shells

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blupig, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. Blupig

    Blupig BEEF TOILET
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    Bullet Shells

    Got bored tonight, so I wrote two pieces, both carrying the same storyline. If you don't feel like reading the short story, then feel free to move onto the poem. If you're reading both however, I'd like to ask that you start with the story so you know the context for the poem :p

    I was really tired when both were written, so don't judge toooooo hard :D

    Story:
    Poem:
    C&C, don't be too rough :p
     
  2. Sanctuary

    Sanctuary Community Cuddle Puddle

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    Bullet Shells

    Beautifully terrifying.
     
  3. Joker91

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    Bullet Shells

    Amazing, but dark and twisted...

    I liked it!
     
  4. MohtasaUnique

    MohtasaUnique Grand Master
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    Bullet Shells

    Only problem is the bad language, I've always had a problem with books that have "bad" swear words in it like fuck or whatever

    Other than that, it's a nicely written story, thanks:]
     
  5. BERRY GOOD

    BERRY GOOD Forum Addict

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    Bullet Shells

    Pretty good, you should sell it :)
     
  6. Blupig

    Blupig BEEF TOILET
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    Bullet Shells

    Haha to be honest I wasn't in the best of moods when I wrote the story, was going for something angry, but I get where you're coming from. I don't care for the story version at all, if I'd improve on anything it'd definitely be the poem...Kind of feel like patching it up, actually.
     
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