Racism, Prejudice and Homosexuality. - My Paper

Hello everyone!
This is a personal essay I had to do for English class and decided to do it on what you're seeing in the title. I would like you to read it and tell me ways that I can improve it and rate it!
Thanks all!

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Racism and Prejudice

Racism is an issue that has yet to be solved and is used to offend many people. Some people use terms like the N Word to offend African Americans. An example of this is the Ku Klux Klan, a group in the United States which is racist against African Americans. Another example is homosexuals, because they get treated very badly because they are different. We should all be treated the same way, with respect, because we are no different from each other. Racism should be stopped because many people end up being hurt by it and it’s not good at all.

October 7, 1998, Matthew Shepard was lounging around a bar at night. When he left he was walking home and two men offered him a ride. They were nice people not planning to kidnap him or anything, but then Shepard admitted that he was gay and the two men robbed, pistol whipped, and tortured him then tied him to a fence in a remote area leaving him to die.

Teenagers are getting affected by this a lot because they are the main target of prejudice. Other kids can build false rumors about people and it ends up by them getting humiliated. Sometimes it gets serious and leads to suicide. In some schools, kids actually get KICKED out for being gay and that is just because people can’t accept that other people think differently which makes them extremely ignorant. Usually in schools, when someone admits that they are homosexual, people tend to “avoid” them and claim to be “freaked out” by them. In reality there is nothing to be freaked out about because they are people just like you and me. In America, every two hours, a teenager commits suicide. This is sad because they are being bullied and picked on to DEATH.

Homosexuality bullying is a big problem. People get picked on just because they are gay and it is just wrong and people shouldn’t be picked on just because they are different from others. A lot of actors are gay such as Neil Patrick Harris and he doesn’t get treated that badly. There are also groups devoted to treat homosexuals badly just because they are not the same as everyone else. Most of these groups form at schools and are called cliques. Cliques are groups in which certain party members attend and form their own society and usually pick on people that seem weak or defenseless. They tend to pick on people who are more intelligent than them or people that are different. Homosexuals are the main target because they are not like everyone else but there is nothing wrong with them and people cannot understand that. They feel the constant need to empower themselves over people so that they feel good about themselves. This leads to bullying and can be very dangerous to the victims of it.In the United States, 2010, mass amounts of teenagers have committed suicide because they were being picked on.

Racism is not a crime, but it is considered as one and it shouldn’t be used to hurt people. It causes extreme problems like wars and fights and conflicts. All that can be resolved if everyone just respects each other and as a wise man once said: One of the dramatic characteristics of experience is being with another person and suddenly seeing the ways in which they're like you, not different from you. The understanding that there is no other - it is all one.
- Richard Alpert

 

wrong forum, try posting in the homework help section

 

Moved to homework Help.

 

It has two topics, yet what I see is 20 words on racism and the rest of homosexuality. Racism and homosexuality I say would both qualify as prejudices, so there is real no need to put the word in your title unless you target other prejudices.

 

Do you have any suggestions in what else I should put? I feel it is unfinished. :/

 

This needs a lot of work. What grade btw?

I think the paper needs a lot of revisions and definitely needs to be lengthened on the topic. Some stronger words also need to be added to the paper. Racism is also barley even in seen this paper. You might say 'well everyone will agree with this paper unless they themselves are racist so I don't really have to prove my point that extensive' but the thing is I don't see racism in this world. People will always hate on other people, I say get over it. Yes, KKK was horrible but that's practically over. Maybe instead you should focus on the multitude of the KKK today and what they're doing now - that may win me over. Also as far as homosexuality most people view it taboo. Saying it's horrible to pick on these people is kind of like saying we should support everything anyone does. There are a lot of more devastating things in this world so to be focusing on bullying is kind of week unless you give us some more facts. This post probably isn't very helpful because I kind of just threw it together but hopefully you at least get something out of it...

NOTE: I'm not a horrible person and I don't support making fun of people but I think if you're going to write a paper on it then you're going to need some extra facts because it seems this is more of a persuasive paper than a personal. IDK :]

 

Finn, this helped drastically thank you so much for your help!

 

Racism and Prejudice

Racism is an issue that has yet to be solved and is used to offend many people. Some people use terms like the N Word to offend African Americans. An example of this is the Ku Klux Klan, a group in the United States which is racist against African Americans. Another example is homosexuals, because they get treated very badly because they are different. We should all be treated the same way, with respect, because we are no different from each other. Racism should be stopped because many people end up being hurt by it and it’s not good at all. (You haven't said anything here that hasn't been said a million times before. Try to come up with something original that you can add to the conversation regarding racism.

October 7, 1998, Matthew Shepard was lounging around a bar at night. When he left he was walking home and two men offered him a ride. They were nice people not planning to kidnap him or anything, but then Shepard admitted that he was gay and the two men robbed, pistol whipped, and tortured him then tied him to a fence in a remote area leaving him to die. (This is a good example but it's sort of out of place. You do nothing to introduce it or, more importantly, analyze it's significance in your argument.)

Teenagers are getting affected by this a lot because they are the main target of prejudice. (No they aren't) Other kids can build false rumors about people and it ends up by them getting humiliated. Sometimes it gets serious and leads to suicide. (People kill themselves for lots of reasons.) In some schools, kids actually get KICKED out for being gay and that is just because people can’t accept that other people think differently which makes them extremely ignorant. Usually in schools, when someone admits that they are homosexual, people tend to “avoid” them and claim to be “freaked out” by them. ("Avoid" doesn't need to be in quotes. I'm not sure if "Freaked out" does either) In reality there is nothing to be freaked out about because they are people just like you and me. In America, every two hours, a teenager commits suicide. (That seems like a high figure. Cite your source?)This is sad because they are being bullied and picked on to DEATH.

Homosexuality bullying is a big problem. People get picked on just because they are gay and it is just wrong and people shouldn’t be picked on just because they are different from others. (Right and wrong have thick gray areas around them.) (You're repeating the same thing a lot. You think bullying gays is wrong. I get it. Say something else!) A lot of actors are gay such as Neil Patrick Harris and he doesn’t get treated that badly. (This sentence works against your argument.) There are also groups devoted to treat homosexuals badly just because they are not the same as everyone else. Most of these groups form at schools and are called cliques. (While there may be anti-homosexual groups most high school cliques are not. Even those that are aren't "devoted" to it, I think. Cliques are groups in which certain party members attend and form their own society and usually pick on people that seem weak or defenseless. They tend to pick on people who are more intelligent than them or people that are different. Homosexuals are the main target because they are not like everyone else but there is nothing wrong with them and people cannot understand that. They feel the constant need to empower themselves over people so that they feel good about themselves. This leads to bullying and can be very dangerous to the victims of it.In the United States, 2010, mass amounts of teenagers have committed suicide because they were being picked on.

Racism is not a crime, but it is considered as one and it shouldn’t be used to hurt people. (Racism isn't considered as a crime.) It causes extreme problems like wars and fights and conflicts. (I would change this to "It causes conflicts that could be resolved if everyone...) All that can be resolved if everyone just respects each other and as a wise man once said: One of the dramatic characteristics of experience is being with another person and suddenly seeing the ways in which they're like you, not different from you. The understanding that there is no other - it is all one.
- Richard Alpert[/QUOTE]

Before I start, how old are you?
You've said very little here and what you have said is terribly clichéd. Your entire paper is "Racism/Hating homosexuals is wrong." It's a very weak argument. I also noticed that your sentences aren't very strong. They are, for the most part, correct but if you added stronger vocabulary and a more varied sentence structure it would do a lot to help the paper.
I've put comments in your essay (above). They're in parenthesis.
Don't hesitate to ask questions if you have them. I'd love to help.