Struggles with anxiety

Just want to rant and feedback on what to do.
Please note some stuff is quite confronting and i'm pretty blunt about stuff.

Because of anxiety i can't bear to stay by myself so the currently lockdown situation in victoria isn't helping I need a social life I can't even play video games i get anxious.

I've only to started developing really bad anxiety this year, and can only name two situations that could of caused it (or both)

Someone really close to me cut there wrists and I walked with blood covered arms. (they are ok, and apperently seeing special help) and was told by there mates If I said anything I would be beaten, when he means more then anything to me


the other which it properly started kicking into gear was my best friend, who i've had feelings for over 4 years, me and her had a huge argument, as i was trying to confess my feelings to her but she ditched me basically and now i feel like a emotional sponge (she knows i like her, as i said it during the fight FML) I just feel used and useless.... after the fight i got into a bad habit with drugs and alcohol (I've stopped this but i don't want to go there again)


I just don't know what to do, i hate this feeling so much i'm a happy person not this sadist.


I

 

I'm glad to hear your friend is getting help. I'm sorry you witnessed that.

Unfortunately, unrequited feelings suck a lot. But you can move past it. COVID makes an already difficult situation much more so; as it's not so easy to meet new people and socialise.

Personally, it's really helped me to make sure I get outside each day and get some fresh air. Drink enough water and do something nice for myself each day. I don't know if you've seen my pinned thread but there are a couple of handy things to read in there when you're in a dark spot: Feeling upset, depressed, angry, suicidal? Useful links and numbers.. Exercising helps me dump my feelings too, I usually feel best after a tough workout. Have you got a hobby you could pick up?

A good thing to do is focus on what your anxiety feels like and try to understand why you come to feel that way. There isn't always a reason why but sometimes you can trace it back to particular patterns of thoughts or assumptions you can challenge. For example if a lot of it is "what if..."s you can rationalise yourself out of it as all these what ifs haven't happened yet. Or if it's dwelling on the past, you can rationalise that the past has happened and you can only make the most of what's to come.

Hang in there buddy there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Currently in stage 4 lockdown, so we can't go to gyms (which i greatly miss and can tell you now is big to keep me focused on goals)

they have given me a mental health plan, which i can visit a therapist at any time and just can hand them the document (really cheap only $50 dollar per session)


I miss you big dog, we need to catch up soon <3 fivecucks

 

Update i've been going on walks, talking to a really close friend of my, and trying to be more open.

 

Look into nootropics, i suggest something natural such as lions mane. Has helped me with staying alert, cognition, less stress/anxiety in certain parts of my life.

Try to keep yourself occupied with a hobby or work as much as you can, try to sleep well also

 

I second gyms. Although they're closed I would definitely recommend other ways to stay/get fit by jogging, walking, or doing home workouts. It has helped my mental health tremendously by working out every day as it gives you a set goal and releases stress. Your goal could be as simple as: "I want to lose 10 lbs" to "I want to do 100 pushups tomorrow." I think waking up with a purpose and a goal does wonders for your health.