I'd like to point out firstly that if you think you are depressed or suicidal, struggle with self harm and mutilation or simply get easily stressed - then please contact a health professional or responsible adult as soon as possible. There are several methods available to treat and potentially cure such issues. I urge you to do what's best for yourself and seek professional help. It's probably the last thing you feel you want to or can do, but I assure you as reluctant as you may be - it does help. My PM is always available should you need someone to talk to confidentially or just need someone to listen to your problems. Hey, you! Whoever you are, whatever your burdens are: Empty your stresses, unwind and know you're not alone. Some passages that may give you a direction to work towards: Spoiler: Non-zero days by Reddit user ryans01 Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose. (Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. ) Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget. La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path. Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud. Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster. That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on. I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again. Have an awesome fucking day ☺ tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental) Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks! Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action. Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go. Spoiler: How to be happy Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world. Start with 7am, 6am, 5:30am. Go to the nearest hill and watch the sun rise. Push yourself to fall asleep earlier. Start with 11pm, 10pm, 9pm. Wake up in the morning feeling re-energised and comfortable. Get in to the habit of cooking breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avacado and squeeze too much lemon in. Sit and eat it and do nothing else. Stretch. Reach for the sky then touch your toes, roll your head. Stretch everything. Buy a litre water bottle. Drink the whole thing to yourself in a day. Then try drinking it twice, thrice. Buy a diary and a pen. Write down everything you do, dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. Nothing is too small. Organise your room. Fold all your clothes, clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. Light a candle. Have a hot shower with your favourite music playing. Wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. Push yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones, go to the beach, smile at strangers and be surprised at how many smile back. Bring your dog and observe it's behaviour; you could learn something. Message old friends with personal jokes. Reminisce. Suggest a catch up even if you intend not to. Push yourself to follow through. Think long and hard about what interests you. Crime? Sex? Adventure? Read a book about it. Become the person you'd fall in love with. Let cars merge in to your lane when driving, pay double for parking and leave a ticket in the machine, stick your tongue out at babies, compliment people on their appearance. Challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a day. A week. Two weeks. Walk with good posture. Look people in the eye. Ask them about their day, their story. Talk to acquaintances so they become friends. Lay in the sunshine. Daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn't an option. Open your eyes. Take small steps and make it happen. Spoiler: Simple things that ease depression Turn the lights on and open a window Eat something healthy and drink ice cold water Find a comforting album to listen to whenever things get bad Take a long, relaxing bath Do yourself up in full make up and hair - buy a new outfit Be around people, even if you don’t think it will help Watch something funny on netflix Wear your favorite/most comfortable outfit Immerse yourself in a hobby like drawing Lose yourself in a really good book or movie Spoiler: 7 rules for life Make peace with your past so it wont affect your present. Being guilty about the past and anxious about the future will not alter the present. What other people think of you is none of YOUR business. No matter how hard you try to fit in; there will always be someone who disagrees or has a negative opinion - so why bother trying to please them all? Time heals almost anything. Give it time. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. Do not wait for happiness to walk around the corner, go and find it. Don't compare your life to others' or you will never get there. Don't judge the life of others either, you don't know their story. Stop over-thinking. It's okay to not know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it. Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world. Spoiler: Feeling Suicidal? Source: Unknown Ever need someone, I'll sure as hell be there; and as will others (whether you believe so or not.) Useful hotlines No matter what you've done, how you feel or what you think you've messed up, there are always people who are there to listen in confidentiality. The following is a list of phone numbers that you or someone you know may find helpful. Stay strong, it gets better. Crisis hotlines for suicide, depression or self harm. USA 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-SUICIDE) UK 08475 90 90 90 Australia 13-11-14 Canada 1-800-448-1833 Belgium 02-649-95-55 Poland 116 123 New Zealand 5222-999 (Auckland) 0800-111-777 (Outside Auckland) France 01-45-39-40-00 Germany 0800-111-0-333 Italy 800 86 00 22 Rep. of Ireland 1850 60 90 90 India 2474 5255 Japan 03 3498 0231 Netherlands 0602 222 88 Norway 815 33 300 Finland 09-731391 Sweden 020 22 00 60 Switzerland 0 27 321 21 21 Spain 902 500 002 Other, useful numbers Life Line: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 (USA), 0845 330 3030 (UK) Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Very helpful websites/threads These links don't cure problems, but they can help calm or relax you or make you feel inspired and good about yourself. I hope they're as much use to you as they were to me. Click the titles to be redirected. The Quiet Place TQP is a 90 second, "text on screen" type website. Used for calming and de-stressing The Trevor Project The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth. Rainy Mood Listen to rain falling - some find it very theraputic. Karma Tube A "feel good" collection of videos and stories promoting positive attitudes. Letters of Note Gathers and sorts fascinating letters, postcards, telegrams, faxes, and memos in an attempt to inspire. Gives Me Hope Short story-type posts which aim to encourage you not to give up. OdeWire Unlike the usual news, OdeWire focuses on intelligent, optimistic stories. Sythe.org > Getting through break-ups and other tragedies. Relationship and tragedy advice from the users at Sythe.org If you try one out, let others know how you found it. Cheers folks.