Congratulations to the Fun Rank winners!

Gen · Apr 2, 2020

Congratulations to the following "Fun Rank" winners.

April Fools! You do not actually get a fun rank. However, the users below will receive this special minirank:

"Hey... this isnt a fun rank"

We've included all the applications that met the requirements, enjoy your read.

@Jay

I believe I deserve the crabby funrank as I am always crabby. I basically live life like an NPC and never am happy, only irritated and annoyed at a lot of people, many people can vouch for this such as @Poat . I am basically a crab human, look like crab talk like people. I also do enjoy eating crabs, king crab legs to be exact if that adds to the funrank, i used to grab the crab tendon/cartridge in its claw and open and close the claw, like it was my own claw. Imagine if a human had a claw. That could be me with this funrank. Thankyou for reading my application and this is why I deserve the funrank.

-edit * i really hope i didnt get baited on april 1st*

@corby

When I was about 13 I used to get babysat by some kids in my class's mom. Well I had Pokemon blue and I had done all the missingno glitches and stuff to get tons of rare candys. I had also duplicated master balls and had all the legendary Pokemon (hence the title).

I left my blue cartrige at their house one day. When I went back the following day I discovered that they had stolen (via the gameboy transfer cable) all of my pokemon including the legendaries. I did what any sane person would do and threatened to stab them. Did I mention I said this while in the back seat of their moms car while she was driving?

Their mom flipped her shit at me, and then at my mom because I actually did have a small pocket knife on me at the time.

I never got my pokemon back.

Also, ive been on the site 12 years I think thats pretty legendary-worthy

@Wellness

Hi,

As I work full-time from home, my girlfriend and I also foster kittens! We have two cats, Shark and "Kitty Girl" and we both have a strong passion for helping cats, and helping stray cats. I've also sent pictures of my cats to @video lol.

We also volunteer at our local shelter weekly (twice a month for me) and pay everything out of pocket and seek no donations. We don't turn down any cats in need and do our best to help ranging from taking care of baby kittens (days old) to catch, neuter/release strays and also assisting in any action required in the rehoming/adoption process!

I'd love this rank!

@Saint Grim

I'm going to take a moment to justify myself here, and won't be counting this as part of my 100 words: We're all pretty poor and when it comes to myself and the two friends I do this for, it's not taking any money away from the rightful owners of the content because if we didn't get it free, we just wouldn't get it. We're not going to 'save up' for a damn dvd. If in the future that changes, I won't be doing it anymore.

Probably not something I should be sharing publicly but as far as any of you know, it's not even true, right? Anyway, in my small group of friends I'm known for being the pirate. I get movies and other stuff for close friends and put them on a flashdrive.
On valentines day, one of those friends was having some kind of Quentin Tarantino movie marathon. I can't remember what they called it now, Tarentines Day or something like that. But he requested a few different Tarentino movies for the occasion.
He had a mutual friend, his girlfriend, his brother's girlfriend and their 2 very young children over for the occasion. I had other stuff to do, but I dropped the flashdrive off. About 5 hours later I start getting texts freaking out asking if I knew what I had given him. Turns out... The Kill Bill that I downloaded was a hardcore porn parody of kill bill and started off right in the middle of a scene without any warning or intro. Exposing 5 adults and 2 children under 8 years old to a SCREAMING orgasm!

Probably got some scarred little kids that'll need therapy in the future... But the good news is there isn't a better day than Valentines day for such a mishap.

@NukeACola

Fun rank I want (Pirate)

When I was like 11 years old I was pirating a game on my shitty tablet and wasn't sure what game I wanted to pirate so I ended up watching some random videos on mobile games that might Intrest me. After watching a few videos I finally chose a game (don't remember which game I chose). I went to a site and ended up downloading some malware on the tablet. The malware I ended up downloading downloaded p*rn which confused me as I hadnt seen p*rn before as I was 11 at the time. The malware also ended up downloading a bunch of other random crap. I got scared and I tried factory resetting my device but that didn't seem to fix my problem. So I was scared my parents would find out that I did something dumb and decided to go on a walk the next day and throw it in a pond like 10 minutes away from where I live. I told my parents that I lost it and just used my moms tablet instead until I finally got my own phone a few years later.

@xkevvx

A short story as to why I'm a zombie,
Here I am slaving away at work, sanitizing and detailing the inside of a bus. It's currently
around 1am, a few hours shy of my shift end. It's dark outside and I like to listen to music via
my bluetooth headphones. Well I began to notice a subtle blue flash inside the bus. I begin searching for
the source of this blue light, tilting my head and twisting each and every way or direction. When I'd look up the flashing would get brighter, and when I'd turn my head it would seem to disappear. After about 30 minutes of searching for this mysterious blue light, I decided to stare out the window in despair as I have accepted the fact I was just going crazy and this blue flashing light didn't exist. It was at that moment, I saw myself in the reflection of that window, and sure enough. On my bluetooth headphones there was the blue flashing light. LMAO

Proof I am a living zombie and need extra sleep. Hope you select my story for the fun rank

@Truancy

Many years back my family and I moved to Israel, as a new kid there I didn't have that many friends so i would ride my bike around town, and mind you this, the town was on a mountain. I was either riding my bike downhill super fast or Up-hill giving me sore legs.

One day i was riding my bike to the store as a child near my house in hurry to buy snacks so i can go home and play Runescape, i peddled up-hill until my legs gave out. I walked into the store bought 3 bags of chips and started heading home.

The ride home was smooth, all i had to do is let gravity do it's part since i was going downhill. I was riding my bike on a side-walk on a steep-downward hill. As a naive kid only thinking about how i wanna be in my room playing Runescape I started peddling faster and faster down a steep hill. As i'm looking down the side-walk, the side walk started to end on a Slant like this (|\). The only thing I'm thinking about is FUCK, IM OUT OF SIDEWALK SPACE!!!!!

What would you do next? I'm like 13-14 years old, I don't know shit about shit. I slammed my 'back' brakes as hard as I could.... But NOTHING happened, they were somehow disconnected. How the FUCK do they disconnect at a time like this????.... I looked up and the WALL closing off the side-walk is getting closer and closer. My next move out of FEAR was to slam my 'front' breaks and let me tell you this, it was a f-u-c-k-i-n-g mistake. (never slam front brakes going downhill.....)

The moment I squeezed the life out of my front brakes, the back wheel of my bike INSTANTLY kicked up and threw me in the air flying like Super man. (It's the perfect moment to be singing "In the armss of the angeeeeel").

I dont know why but everything became slow-motion, i was in mid-air flying like Goku inching towards the STUPID wall that cut off the side-walk.

Do you wanna know what happened next? I 'Cracked my Head'

@Time Crunch

Hello Staff!

I would like to apply for the Crabby Fun Rank. I believe that I have a funny story that has actually haunted me for years lol. When I was 5 in Kindergarten my teacher thought it was a good idea to bring in blue crabs for show and tell with the class. Somehow one of the crabs got into the toilet and I went to use the restroom, and I noticed the crab in there. From then on out for about 5 years I thought that crabs were able to come up the toilet and bite my ass. I would always have someone in the restroom with me because of this moment.

Hopefully you find some joy in my pain.. Lol

Time Crunch

@Beast

Special request uwu

Firstly, i'd like to start off by thanking @video for being a Great father figure in my life. Not once has he let me go to sleep without having dinner, he is actually the reason i am a fat ass Monster. Like father like son

Realistically, i'd like this fun rank, it has always appealed to me as the coolest of the coolest! I strive everyday honestly to be a good community leader and to just absolutely be the best i can. I started off on this site just trying to do a couple questing orders and found myself being one of the biggest name sellers, and then middleman's and then PR team leader (oh boy lets not even talk about this). I took a small break after this, as things got a bit weird, i started nursing school and my drive and motivation just absolutely filled me to come back and to make some new friends and to start trading again! I even am now employed IRL by a very reputable Sythe member.
I have nothing to hide really, i'm a monster in real life and a monster when it comes to safe quality trades, and being active in the community!
I really hope to get this fun rank, I know @King would vouch for me as well, as he has came to me multiple times to compliment my drive. This really means a lot to me, shout out to you man!

If i'm not granted this, may i please have because i never sleep, if you DM me you know you're going to get a reply.

video, thanks for vouching for me as well <3
fuck video in ass

@ARTDEAL3R

Hi there,

I am applying for the cracker head fun rank because I believe it is pretty fitting to who I am as a person. First of all, I am the living epitome of a cracker. Second of all, I'm the living definition of a crack(er) head. Third of all, I'm about all my cash and guap, which if you ain't a stupid bitch, you should know only real ballers can afford crackers (Pendulum sure can't, broke son of a bitch).

I believe I first became a Cracker Head at the age of 12, when I used to go on Omegle to see naked girls. I was foolishly only greeted by monster cocks. I learnt the hard way, and came across this one HUGE black leviathan of a cock, and strangely enough the bearer of this beast didn't skip me. Okay, strange. I said, 'What the fuck is you doin' bruh?' and he instantly froze. The stroking of the beast stopped. He took his hands off his monster rod and mutters in to his laptop mic; 'Shut up you stupid little cracker and getcha cock out.'

Well, I was fucking stunned, and that's why I am the way I am today.

@Tallink

(Sorry about my broken english)
So one day with my older sister(was probably like 10 by that time), we were outside just taking a swing,it was like tire swing. My sisters hat came off and she wanted me to pick it up. Her hat fell off of course just basically underneath her, where she was swinging. Moments later i was knocked out by the tire swing and my right eye/eyebrow was pretty bad and had to get couple of stitches.Couple days later i had school class costume party. So to lighten up my mood, mom came up with the idea i could dress as a pirate.I guess because my eye was pretty bad, so it didnt take much make it happen. So there i was, with my eyepatch and trying to take it off in every possible way to show to the classmates. End of the day it was alot of fun and got alot of attention(especially boys were pretty hyped about it), which lightened up my mood and a good childhood memory overall i guess .

@Amy

Waking up in his Lapras Pajamas after simping Twitch Streamer traps last night, Sythe Moderator Andy was ready for another tough day at work. Between tedious Moderator tasks of sending “Hi @Amy” with Zwei Siegen on the Sythe discord and looking extensively into reports about lewd camshows— both on-site and off-site,—Andy decided that it was time for a change—no, not just his 0-8-1 Kha-zix k/da or his crusty tissues—but a real change.

“Ohayo onee-chan”, Amy exclaimed, dressed in her Zero Two cosplay. Andy perked up in surprise as his E-Waifu girlfriend greeted him in the morning. His eyes instinctively trailed from Amy’s flowing hair down to her…

“Andy!!... I-It’s not like I want you to stare at me that way or anything! Idiot… Baka. My eyes are up here!” exclaimed Amy. “Anyways, I was hoping that we could.. You know.. Catch some stuff.”

“STDs?” asked Andy.

“No you simp, Pokemon.” Amy said in a retort. “There is a Pokemon Showdown competition we could enter right now and the winner gets a Masterball.”

Bahruuuuuuhhhhaaaaa. Bahruuuuuuhhhhaaaaa.

Amy’s conversation with Andy was suddenly interrupted by the stampede of elephants outside their bedroom window.

“My name is Video AND I CHALLENGE YOU to a d-d-d-d-d-duel.” shouted Sythe Admin Video, riding on top of a level 69 Donphan.

Andy opened the window and gazed at his massive trunk.

Video looked sternly down at Andy and said, “Why are you looking so intently at my elephant? Anyways, I came here to challenge Amy to a match.”

Amy responded, “The only match for me is Andy. I’m joking, let's fight, Articuno go!”

“Donphan go!” Video shouted.

Narrator: The intense first Pokemon Showdown round between Video and Amy was about to begin.

“Articuno, use Blizzard!” A violent storm of hail rained down upon Donphan and left the poor elephant with 1 HP remaining.

Video responded, “We gotta save the Elephants, I refuse to fight anymore. GG easy.”

And so the match ended with Amy going on to fight ItzChaos in the finals to receive an Articuno Legendary Birds fun rank for April Fools Day.

The end.

@Cherub

As a kid, my family would travel to the seaside maybe twice a year. Whenever we went to rocky beaches, of course searching for crabs was on the agenda.

For no good reason, when looking for crabs, I would attempt to lift rocks well above my head. Yes, just tilting these rocks slightly off the seabed was good enough, but tell my 7 year-old self this.

Searching for longer and longer, the rocks started to get bigger and bigger, until I was using all my might to sort of "clean and jerk" the rocks above my head, Olympian style, if you will.

Of course, eventually I would find a crab. But of course, I would forget about the huge boulder rock above my head and let it go to call over my parents, pretty much launching a huge fuck-off rock right on poor Mr Crabby.
Oh Mr Crabby, i'm so sorry.

@Zuzel111

Back in the day there was a little village in RuneScape craightlists called Sythe. It was a land of people commonly called “noobs”. They could be very easily recognized as all of them were wearing obby capes. After the years some villagers tried to hide the fact of being noobs by wearing untrimmed cooking capes but it didn’t help. In 2011 it completely changed, fellow Spartan from Sparta.rs service came to Sythe and stopped the nooby times. Wild tribes saw for the first time in their lifes a shiny fire cape, everyone wanted to get it. All noobs started training their ranged kill to be like Spartan Zuzel. After 9 years people that were back in the day called noobs now have 49 jad pets and tens of thousands of noobians were wearing nice shiny Fire Capes obtained in Sparta.rs service. Zuzel is living legend, who caused civilisation jump for Sythers. Some people built monuments for him and chiefs of Sythe tribe even awarded him Legendary rank.

@OldPeeps

Hey there,
Lemme start by giving a quick heads up why am applying for this fun rank.
So about a year ago i had just recently broken up with my girlfriend, aka back to the real world ready to mingle. I was obviously abit annoywd first and thats when i started watching how i met your mother( barney being the legendary guy). so one day my friend called me and told me about going to this club where they are getting a vip table for 200£ each and i was like fuck man i mean i need to get back at it isnt it. So i went and being the crazy guy i am obviously we had about 24 beer bottles among 3 of us as predrinking and went with our other 6 friends that we met with in the club. Being already quite drunk the table comes with magnum greygoose anyways while we are in middle of the vip table and shit i got so drunk to a level i cant explain, i dont mean the vomitting type, i mean the crazy vibes. Now lets come to the fun part; middle of the night i stand up on the vip table. Shouting so hard in the club ‘like barney says, tonight is going to be legendary’ . Suddenly i see 5 midgets around me(actual club workers) and like 7 models who dance for the club around me. They got me champagne+ free shots trays and apparently the reason was because that was they had a deal who ever stand up on the table and say something crazy they will be treating him for that! Was a crazy night and came back with 2 of these model girls who apparently left me to sleep while they went at it. Ahahah
P.s i woke up the next day drunk telling my mom ‘hi auntie’

@Akumagp

My story is not about a cool cat, but a da** cat that ruined my day.

Many years ago. I was little, my grandmother at that time had many cats, one day I went to visit her. She prepared fried fish for the family. I was stupid, they served me food, but I kept playing with my psp for 10 minutes later. When I go to get my food, it was gone. There was only rice on the plate, there was neither my fish nor my salad.

Anyway, I immediately thought it was the cat, and I went looking for it, at least to expel it from hunger and disrespect.

things ended as follows:

1) the cat ate my food.

2) I kicked the cat that my father saw me, and it did not fail me with the belt.

3) I was banned from using psp for a week

4) that day I only ate rice for lunch ...

Nowadays I do not curse the cat, I understand that it did it by instinct, but hell ... there is nothing more annoying than a cat stealing your food ...

I think it may be a little fun for you, more than a story, it is an anecdote.

And I also think I understand the cat, my grandmother had a feast for the family, the fish and not for the cats, so she decided to steal from me.

@Dbuffed

Well as people know for some time now, I have been the best person in the world to Sythe and #1 dedicated to not being aids and never been temp banned especially not for posting in disputes.

Well first of all I would like to say this is due to @video being the great guy he is appointing my new title. So for some time I was living peacefully, peacefully in the Sythe discord server, unseen unheard of until one day.. Yes that's right, one day some nasty little dispute posters came into the server and started talking to me weirdly, very scary moments indeed. After some time, my friend @Pikachu came in when there was just one of their anti-sythe soldiers left and he spoke to me and was like Dbuffed, you the best, you never post anywhere in fact you don't even own a mic (but little did he know I do!) and was finding out why this brute was being so ant-buffed against me.

Next minute I had my brother from another mother @video come in and say I sound like Jason Statham because i'm from England as well bruv and by then he had already done me the deed of crowning me the legendary Jason (as shown on my vouch thread recently) and banned this criminal from our friendly, WWE PG era discord chat of which could have ended much worse, because he sounded like a weed head who was clearly needing some fatherly love from my smooth but short haired and beared self, of where I could continue to praise Video about elephants and unicorns and Jasons all alike.

P.S. Pirate is the only other thing I could think of due to the funky things Jason does in his films, 10/10 I know.

@John Devola

I hate social media and got off facebook a long time ago, instagram sucks, so does twitter cause you just get into meaningless cockfights about politics ect. The one social media app I still have is Snapchat and I've been diligently sending pics of my food to other people for about 3 years running. Various sythe users enjoy my food pics like @video, Talon, and Daddy Dropperz (may he rest in peace). I dont post on my story or open other people's pictures because I really dont care what they are doing, I just send out food pics because people like food and so do I.

Edit: Sorry forgot @Jason is a foodie as well thanks to my snap

@Hike

Hello first of all I'd like to say I can't really relate to any of them on a personal level. Just to be transparent and so you don't think I'm trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

So hello to the reader(s), I would like some special flair for my sythe account. I've been around for a good while now, and I've had 0 complaints and hundreds of accounts sold. I have a tremendous respect for sythe and the business it brings me to help pay the bills and support my wife and 2 kids. I also have a black cat my oldest daughter named Ketchup. Super relatable because he is a very cool cat.

I think that makes me kinda cool, I guess?

@juanddm

Alright this is my story related about legendary full rank.
When I was like like 7 years old i played a lot pokemon yellow on my gameboy, and I used to grind day and night on that game, when i finished the game i was trying to catch moltres zapdos and articuno (articuno its my favorite) when i tried to catch zapdos after trying to find him for a long period of time, i finally found him he almost deafeated all my pokemons my gameboy had low battery zapdos was low Hp needed like 2 hits to defeat him, then my gameboy died and i didnt save anything, had to play like a whole day again to fight against zapdos again finally i defeated him, then on my grind for articuno the same thing happened lol i was an idiot used to play without saving everytime i could i learned from that and never happened to me again. I love playing and enjoyed a lot pokemon thats why i would like to get this fun rank! Thanks for reading.

@MoneyBagjags

I Was drunk as fuck at a party and the cops busted the party and then started to detain everyone asking for their ids. I was outside so i started to run and then a cop was chasing me but i managed to out run him. Then once i out ran him, i started to walk casually on the sidewalk as there were police cars driving by and not one of them stopped me. Made the greatest escape of my life without having to go to jail and get killed by my parents if they were ever to find out.

@Leslie

So my cat Susie is known to be a chonker (a full 16 pounds of chonk). I took her to the vet one time and when she was looking at her, she was shocked at how much she weighed that she thought Susie might be pregnant. Even though we told the vet that she's just fat, she gave her a pregnancy shot anyway and called her a "big beautiful queen", which I thought was pretty funny. I started calling her a BBC (big beautiful cat LOL). I'd like this funrank because it is adorable and it reminds me of her.

Techie · Apr 2, 2020

Can't wait to read all the entries

Program · Apr 2, 2020

Narbs

Andy · Apr 2, 2020

Thanks for the quality reads guys.

Pendulum · Apr 2, 2020

@Program

DynastyProject · Apr 2, 2020

Now I can read all of these during quarantine xD

Truancy · Apr 2, 2020

Perfecting timing for toilet paper, they're expensive now-a-days

Poat · Apr 2, 2020

Sadly had the suspicion it was an april fools joke and didn't apply rip minirank!

xKevvx · Apr 2, 2020

Awe damn. You got me.

Talon · Apr 2, 2020

thanks

Vul · Apr 2, 2020

Wtf where's mine @Gen you guys suck

Beast · Apr 2, 2020

Imagine thinking March 30th is April 1st / April fools
Honestly smh, kinda cringe

This is more embarrassing then my mod application getting denied.

Beast · Apr 2, 2020

Also, selling mini rank $100 btc DM me ASAP

Vul · Apr 2, 2020

If anyone's actually wondering though seriously even if I doubt it

my app was literally just "this is pretty legendary"
and it was a link to this

Neres not paying for lewd camshow