bully problem

I was in a relationship like this. Can be really hard to leave considering these men are so manipulative. I got out because he left bruises on my arm and I got the courage to call the police and get a restraining order on him. First few times he was able to get away because he didn't hit hard enough to leave marks.

 

Sorry to hear. Try moving out ASAP.

 

problem is still there. not sure how it's going to end

cunt won't walk away

 

Typically in Western Countries domestic violence is treated very seriously, I would be surprised if thats different in the US. I would suggest there are certain regulations in place for police to ensure that the domestic situation must be safe for you to remain, and if it is not than one of the parties involved must be removed for a period of time. I would suggest attending your local station in person if possible and speaking with a senior officer to get more clarification on your options.

From what I understand, your living at home with your family, if the home life is not safe and your under 18 your mum needs to be providing a safe living situation, if she cant do that child support services can get involved to assist.

If your over 18, you need to take more action to make the law work for you. Pictures, write down incidents details and ensure Police know you wish to pursue Assault charges or any other relevant options.

*Please note my advice comes with some legal background, importantly, not in the US though so do not take this as legal advice, just slightly more informed suggestions from an internet stranger.*

 

If this is happening as much as is being claimed the police should've been involved and taken care of the situation already. I live in the US as well and domestic violence isn't something that is taken lightly at all. So if you're truly reporting it it should've been taken care of already.

 

What type of police is this? Why havent they arrested him or apprehended him at the very least under the Mental Health Act?.. Where are you from?

 

If he/she is from the US. Should've been arrested already if reports are real. Also most countries I won't say all would've arrested as well.

 

This + Looking at post hisotry, OP has another thread asking for advice on a Brain Injury he had, which he goes on to clarify is un-diagnosed and he is self-medicating with "alcohol/marijuana/exercise" and that a Neurologist he visited "was surprisingly uncaring. told me to get insurance and see a therapist."

Coming to a forum like this for advice best left to professionals, and then posting that the professionals have been grossly incompetent seems to be a trend and makes me lean towards this being disingenuine or at the very least we dont have all the facts.

Completely open to being proven wrong and offering any further assistance if you can clarify things a bit more for us.

 

@Blue Jasmine I can definitely understand where you are coming from. I was in an abusive relationship (although not family related, still similar) and it took me about 4 years to just walk away. I didn't have anything; no job security at the time; had no money saved up, and a newborn.

At some point or another you just have to walk away, even if it means you'll be toughing it out for a while. If you don't have friends or family to stay with, the best answer is to simply leave. If you are in an environment where you don't feel safe or where you are being physically/mentally/emotionally abused, it's time to leave.

Always file police reports, EVERY SINGLE TIME. It took about 4 times of me filing police reports for any actual court case/arrest to be made out of it.
Your mother can legally kick him out of the house, especially if he is above the age of 18. If this is a genuine abusive situation, all it takes is the people in that household to make a police report against him and they will issue a warrant for his arrest, or arrest him immediately.

If this isn't something that is genuinely going on, it's pretty disheartening. I gotta agree with some of the other people on here, you need to clarify things a bit more for this thread if you really want help or advice.

 

issue is the kid's mother keeps defending him. also it's the same complacent police officer that responds to my call. situation has returned to normal though. My mind is a lot more organized

 

I didn't read much through the other comments, I read some, but there were so many... So forgive me if this is has already been suggested...

Can you fight back at all? There are many reasons that people act like this... Maybe he's got issues and he's taking it out on you (not an excuse), maybe he just doesn't like you and wants you to leave, or maybe he's just doing it because he can.

If he just doesn't like you, and that's his shitty way of showing it, try talking to him, ask nicely if he could just try to tolerate you until you're able to get out, and that you'll start looking immediately.

If he's just doing it because he can, defend yourself with a weapon, unless you believe he could easily just overpower you and still assault you.. But honestly, even a tap on the top of the head with an aluminum bat hurts, pretty sure you could put him on the ground begging you to stop.

If facing your bully in any way just isn't an option, then leave. It's rough, but man, living on the street sounds better than that.. I've slept under a bridge and got my meals out of the dumpster behind the Casey's, and I'd much rather do it all again than be constantly in fear of physical harm. Maybe you could even crash on a friends couch or something?

Some places also have temporary housing similar to a battered women's shelter, but for anyone (if I've mis-assumed and you're not male, seek out a battered womens shelter), which is ugly and not a fun place to stay, might get some lice or be sleeping with bed bugs, but it'd be better than under a bridge by the train tracks.


If you'd like to take a legal route, record it. Possibly hide a camera and let it catch it naturally without him knowing... If you sit at a PC and he bothers you from there, set up and hide a webcam. Taking note of everything he does as others have suggested isn't going to help. Even if you write it all down, it's your word vs his, you need outstanding proof. You mentioned funds, but you can probably find a cheap webcam, or borrow equipment from a friend?

 

u have two choices
fight him or move out