Trouble with Women

Anybody else ever been in the situation where they just can't catch a break with women? They say they want a nice guy and end up fucking you over when all you have been is nice and understanding? I seriously regret dumping my ex, even though she cheated and lied to me. She was legit the only woman I have ever met that showed she loved me. I can't even get a girl to text me back hardly anymore... Is the dating world really that different nowadays?

 

Best support I can give by reading what you said is take some time to learn yourself, be comfortable with being alone and getting/having the things you need. This way going into any sort of relationship if it being a friendship or dating at least you can go into it with your head screwed on and confident of what your going to need out of the relationship for it to work.

 

Below is one of my replies to a very similar topic, as you mention being screwed over constantly by being a "nice guy", I think you may find some of it beneficial

source: Friendzoned

"As someone who got crushed with the friendzone as a nice guy for many years I have a few things to let you think about.

1) If you're speaking to a girl you like who has recently broken out of a relationship, don't be the guy to offer emotional support. Girls love drama and gossip. She will list all the things her ex has done to piss her off. You may see this as an advantage but it's really not. Chances are she will see you as a friend who can give her support and attention 24/7 (just like some of her female friends). She will friendzone you before you even know it, and you'll misread all of her signs as false attraction. Then you will be hurt.

2) Being the nice guy can actually you not being honest to yourself that you're being manipulative. You're going out of your way to give a 10/10 impression, which you wouldn't do with your male friends or any female friends you're not attracted to. This will always result in failure as she has your attention too easily.

3) Don't try girls who have ex's or current boyfriends/flings close by as it's 9/10 times a waste of time as their main focus is on that other guy. If these guys in question are 'getting in the way' they've read you from a mile off and are protecting 'their girl' from you.

4) Keep busy and put your activities and/or studies/career before replying to a girl (if text/online interaction etc). Replying instantly has no game and girls lose interest quickly as they no longer find you mysterious and may even see you as emotionally immature.

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It is hard to fully understand your situation as there are so many possibilities and there is no magic formula to seduce women. It either happens or it doesn't. Trying to find a magical solution is being the manipulative nice guy who doesn't realise he's being selfish.

I've been there believe me. I've had points in my life where i was acting all fairytale and thought 'she' was the only one. Other times I've been the 'insecure player' who thinks because he's speaking to lots of girls then one will magically jump into bed with him.

Just keep focusing on improving yourself, and not trying to be someone you're not. Develop different areas of your life and you will become a person with diverse interests and fun to be around. Keep trying with girls and accept rejection although it can really hurt sometimes. Trust me, a few months down the line you may even silly for liking a girl so much.

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I hope that somewhat makes sense. I could go on forever about my past experiences but to be honest what my conclusions are of my past are just the conclusions i've come to and may be different from you or anyone else.

If you feel a bit lost and unsure where to begin. Do by all means do some online research.But don't sign up to any bullshit courses or communities which claim they have secrets to seducing women. There is none. End of story.

The closest you can get is understand social cues, and actually trying over and over again.

As the cliche goes, practice makes perfect."

 

lemme tell you something.
If you dumped your ex for cheating on you, you are a man enough to go through with this. You must realize that a cheater is never a true love. Simply focus on your self, your physical appearance, your work and your personality. Trust me women will jump over you when you have half these things figured out.

 

Don't give up. Also don't regret breaking up with your ex, especially since she cheated on you and lied to you. Move on, and don't look back. Easier said than done I know, but you'll be where you want to be one day. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Be your self, and when its ready everything will fall into place.


Also old peeps gave you great advice.

 

don't be aggressive but don't be too nice love can get you killed

 

you did the right thing by getting rid of her if it is any consolation . Unfortunately the modern "woman" is still bound and trapped by her promiscuous 14 year old inner child , which probably gets a real kick out of waiting a couple of days before texting you back .

 

You have to be able to distance and detach yourself until shes where you want her. Its a bit controlling I understand but its for your own security.

I would also look into some counseling to allow yourself to restrengthen your mental state. If you are able to take abuse over and over again you will 100% find the perfect soulmate.

 

Think you need the invasion method lad ( play a game for a quick kiss)

 

Go to the gym, get in shape, dress nicer, take care of personal hygiene, girls love that shit

 

Bro let’s be real it’s all about tinder sleeping around and fucking till u get bored n move on. Personally I don’t agree with that lifestyle but 18-30 years old (at least where I live) that’s what it’s all about. You’ll be lucky to have a GF for longer than 4 months here. Shits fucked.

 

I have to agree with a lot of the people here. You have to focus on yourself.

I find that a lot of my friends that want girlfriends are constantly looking for them and seldom find one. It's the kind of thing that you have to be patient otherwise you'll just get into a lot of worthless relationships. Focus on yourself and building yourself up. If you have a job, work out a few days a week, study things that you have an interest in in your free time, girls will come to you. Also don't settle for someone who has cheated on you.

 

I want to thank @Lime and @Andy Samberg for your long and thought out posts.

Personally I've found the easiest way to get women is be yourself and know that not EVERY girl you meet is going to be attracted to you. If you like a girl, ask her out. If she says no, move on. Just how you have your preferences (whether it be racial, hair color, body type, personality type, etc.) women do too.

Another great tip is do NOT try to get with women you work with. I see this all the time, and it creates an awkward scenario when you eventually break it off.

The most important thing here is probably the working out suggestion. Even if you're a 1/10 right now, women are more shallow than they let on. If you hit the gym 4 days a week (or even do bodyweight exercises and run) you'll be looking fantastic after 2 months. This will raise your self confidence, and that combined with your new body will make you a 7/10. Maybe higher. Good luck bud