How do I make time feel faster?

Cartman is unable to wait three weeks until the Nintendo Wii console is released, causing him extreme insomnia and other symptoms (like hallucination, looking at the clock). He tries to go into cryonic suspension by sitting in his freezer but his mother catches him. He finally gets Butters to take him to the top of Mount Elbert, where he removes his outerwear and buries himself in the snow.

Concurrently, Mrs. Garrison resists being forced to teach the school's evolution curriculum, and mischaracterizes the theory, stating that man is "the retarded offspring of five monkeys who had butt-sex with a fish-squirrel." In response, the school administrators hire outspoken evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins as an assistant teacher to help Mrs. Garrison present the evolution lesson. After some initial friction between the creationist Garrison and atheist Dawkins, a romantic interest soon develops.

During their date, Dawkins inquires how someone so iconoclastic as Mrs. Garrison could believe in religion. Mrs. Garrison, attracted to Dawkins, begins to concede to impress him. When Dawkins refers to religion as an argument from ignorance, Garrison (with no further serious thought on the subject) announces that there is no great mystery to life, exclaiming that, "Evolution explains everything and God is a spaghetti monster". Later they go back to Mrs. Garrison's house where they have sex. The next day in class, Garrison informs the students of her changed stance on evolution, prompting Stan to argue that one can have faith in both God and evolution. Because of this, he is forced to sit in a corner wearing a dunce cap that says “I Have Faith”. Later that night, while playing Jurasic Park's theme , Dawkins and Garrison are cuddling in bed (surrounded by various erotic toys),and Mrs. Garrison pushes Dawkins to the realization it is his duty to rid the world of religion and bring about peace with its abolition.

By this time, Eric Cartman has become cold enough to enter suspended animation, and a freak avalanche has buried his body. In a montage that spoofs the opening credits of the late-1970s TV series Buck Rogers in the 25th Century,[1] it is revealed that Cartman ultimately remains frozen for over five centuries, until being discovered and thawed out by members of the Unified Atheist League (UAL).

In the year 2546, the entire world is atheistic and dedicated to rationality and science. Atheism is divided into several denominations. These factions are at war with each other over who has the right answer to the Great Question. The UAL explains what happened to Cartman and that his family and friends have been dead for over 500 years, but he does not care about it. However, Cartman is horrified to learn that no one in the future plays video games, including the Wii.

Later they inform a depressed Cartman of the possible presence of a Nintendo Wii at the Museum of Technology in New New Hampshire. However, they mention that before they are willing to take him there, they require some information alluding to a person they believe he knew in his time: the founder of the UAL who helped initiate a great event that made the entire world atheist. Nevertheless, before Cartman can learn the name of this person an alarm sounds as the UAL comes under attack from a rival group, the United Atheist Alliance (UAA), with whom it is explained the UAL are at war. After the fierce battle that ensues, which leaves all the UAL members present dead, Cartman is taken captive aboard a UAA ship.

While aboard the UAA commander contacts yet another faction, the Allied Atheist Alliance (AAA). Made up solely of highly evolved sea otters which possess human-like intelligence, the AAA are at war with both the UAL and UAA over world domination and the answer to the “Great Question”. The Commander of the UAA boast to the otters about their possession of the “Time Child” (Cartman) and of how because of this they are now the Atheists in control. This provokes a response from the Otters Leader who informs them of the “dawning of the sea otter” while threatening to smash Cartman's skull "like a clam on my tummy".

The episode ends with the Otters mobilizing to the sounding of “the nafferty” (a large horn), another armed otter turns to the camera ominously saying “so it begins” while a targeting device drops down over his left eye and the text words TO BE CONTINUED appear.


Hope that clears that up

 

alright legit suggestion: are you up to date on the walking dead


because that'll probably take about a week of your life