Update

Just thought I'd updated things after this old thread: http://www.sythe.org/personal-support/1802661-breaking-up.html

I've been single for about three months (time flies) and am generally enjoying myself. I guess this is in part due to the fact that my ex and I are both happier separate (I am, at least), and also the fact that I'm moving to start work in a month (yikes) has left me a little bit distanced from all things college-related already. I think the best thing, for me, is getting back the extra time that being in a relationship sucks up. I didn't even realize it at the time, but I was spending 10-20% of my waking hours doing relationship-related things; now, I have that time to myself, and it's great. I've been playing squash every day and recently won a small, low-division tournament, and am ten times happier with the sport than I'd ever thought I would be. So I guess I've replaced my ex with a racquet sport, but that's okay. The quality of my coursework, which was never in decline as a result of the relationship, is also improved, and I'm hoping to graduate with honors in everything with a handful of "best xyz" awards thrown in. I also just finished a thesis (one of my two...) that will be submitted to a top economics journal over the summer, so I'm excited for that as well.

In other news, my ex has started seeing another girl, which is somewhat unexpected but whatever. Her life, her choices, not my problem. Very happy to be moving on, and hopefully I'll meet someone more compatible in the future.

 

Good to hear. Younger females (adolescents) are trouble often more than not (assuming she's younger than 25). It's hard to settle down with a person at a young age because they usually get bored fast and want to explore and experiment with new things/other people. Opting out was a good decision on your part.

 

That's awesome, i'm glad you're not fretting over it. It's also a good thing that you've basically replaced her with squash so you're not wasting much time dwelling about her.

 

Yeah, there are still too many major life decisions to make to even think about settling down imo. If nothing else, my job requires travel and will likely see me move at least twice more in the next five years, and I don't want to ask someone if they're willing to move twice with me when they're dealing with all the same stressors.

 

Sometimes being single opens up a lot of opportunities that you don't realize you have when you're in a relationship. I just got out of a 3 year relationship and its been about 4 months and I am happier then I have ever been.

 

"generally enjoying myself". why generally? everything in your post makes it sound like your life is much better now that she has broken up with you. is there some negative to this break up? you ever just find yourself day dreaming about her at random?

I don't mean to hijack your thread, but that's how I've been feeling since breaking off my last relationship. went great for awhile, then things just started deteriorating and we eventually just grew tired of each other and mutually broke it off. this happened a few months ago, and it wasn't a bad break up and we're on good terms. my life has definitely improved since the relationship ended too--been working more and thus making more $$, connecting with old friends better since I have more time with them, meeting different girls and doing whatever with them, and just spending more time doing things I like doing. in theory, my life is way better, and I am happier, but not a whole lot more than when I was dating her. she pops into my mind a few times a day at completely random moments, and I do a lot of thinking about our relationship as a whole and just random moments of it. I don't know if it's that I miss her, or that I just miss having someone to talk to that knows me real well, or the attention she would give me? l have no idea. dated more than a few girls in my life but I've never really felt this way after breaking up.

 

i wouldnt even worry about it, keep doing you and when the times right you will find a new one if you are looking,

 

youre handling it quite nicely, keep up the good work, im glad you arent letting it bring you down

 

nah, no problem - and yeah, of course I still think about her; "generally" shows up because my life is very busy and it's hard to dissociate happiness from one thing with stress from another. anyway, my approach to things like this is just that it needs time. eventually you're think about her twice a day, then once a day, then one every other day, then only sporadically, etc. how recently was the breakup?

 

damn man :\