problems getting hard.

So I got a new girlfriend a week and a half ago, and we fool around and I finger her for quite a while, while I do that, I pre cum quite a bit. Then she grabs my dick and she cant get it to go hard. She has even tried sucking it and it still didn't work. I couldnt get it up twice now and I feel really bad because I like to please my woman, not only with my fingers. I've never had this issue with any other women. Perhaps it can be because she's extremely hott? Or I read that maybe it's performance anxiety because I have deep feelings for her. Or maybe from pre cumming so much, I just can't get hard. This is aggravating as it's never happened before. I'm only 22 so i doubt it's ED. Thanks if anyone can help me.

Edit: forgot to add, I never precame with any other women and I don't precum during masturbation. After she left the day after we tried the first time, I tried jerking off but I couodnt stop thinking about her and couldnt get hard.

 

This might sound strange but try masturbating about four hours before you spend time with her. If that doesn't work try thinking of whatever turns you on the most when she's trying to get you up.

 

If that doesn't work try not drinking alcohol, smoking or masturbating for awhile and exercise as well as eat a healthy diet.

 

It definitely sounds like a psychological thing (e.g. performance anxiety) rather than any physical issue. Let her know that you have never had this issue before. You're going to have to figure out what the source of all the anxiety is and work on overcoming it over time. This can be something that you can fix quickly or it could take awhile. But if she cares about you, I'm sure she won't mind.

These sorts of issues are pretty common especially when being with someone new. There are so many uncertainties in the relationship as well as a desire to be as perfect as possible, and all of that can just really sap all the awesomeness out of sex and lead to issues like this. Don't worry about it. Just focus on getting closer with her and building the relationship. My guess is that as the level of trust between you two increases, and you two get to know more about each other, the issue will reside by itself. But, it's also possible the anxiety is coming from somewhere else. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.

Edit: Precum is natural. That is in no way an issue.

Edit2: Whenever something like this happens, you will have a tendency to think about it every time you get sexual with her. And if you do, it's going to cause you to not get erect again (self-fulfilling prophecy). Like I was saying earlier, the best way to solve the issue is to just keep being close with her and getting to know her better. Eventually you will relax and be back to normal. Because this is most probably just a psychological thing that is not permanent, I would not advise looking for enhancement drugs that allow you to get up. If you do, you might end up believing psychologically that you need them to get up, and you will end up using them as a crutch in the future. This leads to dependency and a long-term issue. So again, just keep being close with her and let that comfort level increase.

 

Kind of hard not to think about it when I'm trying to get hard again.

 

Yeah, it's annoying. Just wait and see what happens in your every day life. If you get erect at any point, you'll know it is probably the psychological issue. It is important to remember that you have never had this issue before and that it is not permanent. It is easy to become irrational and convince yourself this has been a longterm issue. If you notice that happening, just remind yourself it is just a temporary psychological thing.

The goal is to get out of the mindset that you have to try to make yourself erect. It should happen naturally without any effort.

 

Have a dry spell for a bit, keep it in your pants. If you can't get hard after a while of nothing then I'd advise seeing a doctor.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't jerk off for a few days before you see her. Sometimes that gets it built up and you can get really hard very very easily.

 

I wouldnt reccomend jerking it before going to see it like some people have suggested. just dont masturbate at all if you currently are.

you need the sexual tension to build up so when its time, you'll be really excited for it

 

I suggest taking Testosterone pills/ B4 Fat Burner

Yes I know it's a fat burner but it keeps you hard for a long time without you doing anything, you can precum on command.

 

Go with the flow, don't force it.

 

Don't fap for a while before you mess around with her. Exercise beforehand to get the blood flowing, stay cool and don't be afraid to tell her to slow things down.

 

I think the problem might just be stress. I've been stressed out lately because of some stuff and until it goes away idk if i'll be able to perform.

 

Just don't pre-cum if you can help it.

 

Must have just been stress, few nights ago I got extremely hard and railed that dumb bitch.

Thread closed.

 

He doesn't have this issue no longer, he did post that above.

 

hahahaaa
"railed that dumb bitch"
CLASSIC
this is gold.

 

Is sex the only thing you want from girls? "railed that dumb bitch" hahaha

 

Also might have to do with your positioning, i.e., it's harder to maintain an erection lying on your back as opposed to standing up just because of gravity. See: http://www.healthboards.com/boards/...aining-erection-while-lying-flat-my-back.html

 

not at all. She broke up with me because I cared about her too much and she didn't want to be serious, so she's a bitch and I'm done lol.