Going clubbing with a few buddies for my birthday, any tips?

So my birthday's tomorrow (Aug 3) but I thought I'd do something with my friends later tonight, since I'll be busy with family tomorrow!

This is probably the wrong place to ask but whatever. Does Sythe have any pickup artists? What are some of your best tips on meeting women, dancing with them, getting their number etc.
I'm looking to improve my game. I'd say I'm an outgoing person, but whenever I approach a girl at a club, I sort of blank out and run out of things to say. Embarrassing I know but who cares.

Feel free to talk about the time you had a threesome, got a drink spilled in your face or found out your partner was a dude.


Edit: Wow you guys give really awesome advice, thank you so much!


Edit2: Update - Didn't end up going to a club, friends threw me a surprise party thing at someone's house lol. But we're going this Saturday for sure, and I'll let you guys know how it goes.

 

Have enough money to buy drinks. Don't let her trick you into buying her drinks all night for nothing in return though.

 

Don't be that awkward group of dudes that forms a circle and dances among yourselves, looking at potential girls but doing nothing then going home to fap and cry. So cringeworthy

 

No just no...

OT: Be confident without being a total prick. There's a thin line between being confident and being arrogant.

 

Yeah man just be confident. If it takes a few drinks to get your confidence levels up, then so be it. Just make sure you're having a good time.

 

Thread cleaned and moved to personal support.

 

Not 21 so I haven't been to a club, but I've been at plenty of parties with music and alcohol so I know how shit goes down.

Look man, do the obvious shit. Look good, get a few drinks in you, and then have the balls to just hit up some random chick. I've found a good way to force myself even. Tell your friends you're going after a specific girl, then start walking over and with your friends watching and some alcohol no way you're turning back.

There are plenty of good ice breakers, just keep it simple. "Hey, how's it going who are you here with?" works fine honestly. See how she reacts.

Talk about anything, asking questions is good since you won't have to do much talking. Ask for a dance or go and have a few more drinks with her.

Then you know, after a while ask for her number or find an excuse for her to come over up to you.

 

My answer probably wont help you tonight, But if you have trouble in this area look up a book called "the rules of the game" and then "the game" .

The process of meeting and getting a woman to like you can be very simple if you understand psychology and are able to get past your own limiting beliefs.

I'll provide some tips in my post, But fundamentally you have to change parts of yourself before you can do this.

Jack Goff has a good point in there. YOU SHOULD NEVER GET CAUGHT LOOKING AT WOMEN. There is a concept called the 3 second approach rule. If you see a girl you are possibly interested in you have either 3 second to make the decision to approach her or you've already failed.

There are a couple reasons why you have failed.

1. She (or her friends) might catch you looking at her and get creeped out.
2. Other girls will see you staring at other girls.
3.This has proven to be a breaking point in which after 3 seconds you have "chickened out" and will most likely make excuses to why you have not approached her.


If for any reason you experience Approach Anxiety (AA), the best way to beat is is just to approach as many women as possible. and not just women. Approach groups of people, men. Talk to as many people as possible and you will learn alot.

Truth is, the harder it is to approach and talk to women, the more likely they will not try to hurt your feelings or shoot you down.

Hundreds of men have approached the exact same woman saying the exact same things. This is not how you get a woman's attention unless shes initially physically attracted to you. You have to be the exception to the rule

Again, same concept as above. One of the biggest problems with the way people socialize is that we idolize women. You have to be the prize when your going out to the club, and women should be the one wanting you. I'll post about cat string theory below.

While if you obviously have a goal to get her number outright. Dont do it like this. You need to have a reason other than showing interest in her to get her number. You will just fall into the category of men who get shot down with fake numbers, or girls saying "I have a boyfriend" when they really dont.

A great way to do this is seeding. In the conversations you have with her you want to make yourself out to be a fun person. Then mention something your doing later in the week (having a dinner party with your friends, going to a cosplay event ect) you want to briefly mention to her it would be nice to have a "wild card" addition to your party or something of the sort (but dont invite her!) then when your leaving start to leave and then remind her about the thing you invited her to. Dont seem too needy.






Alright so i'm going to explain Cat String theory to you hopefully this will help you get some of the psychology behind socializing with women.

http://www.attractology.com/articles/inner-game/cat-string-theory/


If you have any questions just ask.

 

I think all of the above posters have given you good information in their own way.

My take however..I mean, just take a step back. Look at Bleu's post. What the fuck is that, straight out of a textbook?

Look man, women are human beings. You're a human being. How would you like to be approached?

Of course, that ties into a lot of the things above

1) You see a girl staring at you. If she's attractive, you're like "oh okay, alright, I'm gonna give her some time to make a move if not I'm gonna go after her" that's IF you find her attractive. If she's anything less, you'll be "creeped out"

2) Getting her number. First ask, why do you want her number? She's attractive? PLENTY of other girls are, even other girls present there. She has a unique look? Plenty of girls do. Blah blah..what sets her apart? Why her? She's the easiest?

No, no, no.

I 100% agree with approaching as many people as possible. Treat them as human beings not men and exotic creatures. Just talk to people. It all comes down to social anxiety, not "that vagina-having thing somehow psychologically repels me"

As far as getting her number, you don't need her number. You need to just talk to her. Girls will ask you for your number, guaranteed. You don't think that sexy girl you're going after is tired of having guy after guy come up to her trying this lame "how to pickup a girl" bullshit? If you come up to her and just be honest, genuine, and polite she'll say "oh, he's different" and she'll want to keep whatever you have going.

Forcing this to happen is the biggest mistake. If you press her to "attend something later in the week" or "get her number" you will be "grouped into all the other guys that failed"

Act like you've got your shit together, you're there to have a good time, whether or not you meet someone that night or not you're gonna have a good time.

Also, final tip, if you do enter conversation with a lady friend don't be afraid to throw in the birthday card. Just a casual "oh, that's cool. i'm actually here for my birthday" will spark a conversation.

tl;dr picking up women isn't psych warfare. they're human beings. treat them as you'd like to be treated and try to be genuine. Even if you do manage to land a woman with some pickup-game bullshit how long can you keep that up? Don't you want to eventually date? You can't mold your personality into this "what i think women want" 24/7. just be yourself.

 

We usually grab a few drinks first, and talk among ourselves, and then disperse, either solo or duo and try our game.

This is some awesome advice. The best success I had was when my friends doubted that I would approach this girl cause she was really hot. I just walked right up to her and somehow got her to dance + her number. Thanks buddy, I'll be using this tip.

I'm currently reading "The Game" right now by Neil Strauss. It's an awesome read I'll definitely check out the cat-string theory though, sounds interesting.

Lol, he's talking about a book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It's basically an introduction to the world of pickup artists, so they've developed theories/terminology to make things simpler. You should check it out! But thanks for the tips, I'll try the 'acting like you got your shit together tip', seems legit. (no sarcasm intended)

 

I highly reccomend reading "the rules of the game" first.

and follow through with it. if you have questions with the book lemme know.

 

Interesting read, let us know how it went...

 

How did it go? For future references, women don't like to be treated like we are objects. Classy yet confident is the way to be.

 

My friends threw me a surprise party at one of their houses so I couldn't really practice/game there and we didn't end up going clubbing. We rescheduled it to this Saturday though so I'll let you guys know how it went!

 

If you want to know how women like to be treated feel free and message me. Try not to go into it bullheaded.

 

Yeah for sure! I'll PM ya sometime soon.

 

So how'd it go pal?

 

Don't bring anything you don't want to lose.

 

Just don't go in "thinking" you're not going to get anybody. Just be yourself, have fun. If you see a fit girl and she looks promising, walk up and just have a chat? Shake her hand, introduce yourself etc etc. Girls love a guy who is confident and isn't afraid to chat her up.

Trust me, 25 minutes in, get a few drinks into so she's a little more "light" on her feet, and shit will be a breeze! Then just ask for her number or something, or if you're a sly take her home.

This is something that becomes kind of an art after doing it awhile. Just remember; BE YOURSELF!

 

Except, perhaps, your virginity; in any case, your comment made me laugh.

This so much. Smile. Don't stare, but maintain eye contact. Stay calm, speak slowly at first if it helps. Better a slowly spoken calculated word than "I like the rotundity of you mammaries" - Be sincere, and if it's not going well, wish her a good night and move on.