Corrupt a wish

Granted, but it will eat you once it's big enough.

I wish I had the power to travel back in time to any point in my past and do things differently.

 

Granted, but you set in forth a paradox that leads to you having your future and past self boiled in acid simultaneously.

I wish I could fire laser beams from my eyebrows.

 

Granted but in doing so you burn out your eyeballs.

I wish I could communicate with people through telepathy.

 

Granted, everyone within earshot can now hear your every thought whether you want them to or not. That woman that you're undressing with your eyes just received your full pornographic narrative.

I wish to be a water bender.

 

Granted, but when you go to try your new ability, you bend yourself as well due to humans being made up of ~60% H2O.

I wish for the ability to smash a watermelon with any given part of my body.

 

you use your penis and you become unable to ejaculate

I wish I was able to run a marathon with ease

 

Granted but marathon length is now 1km long thus making it hardly an achievement at all.

I wish Roary and Sandy were back. (Note corrupt this wish and you will be "SRB"ed for a while).... Only kidding

 

Roary and Sandy return and you get demoted.

I wish I had a super computer that could handle any game or program.

 

Computer refuses to play any game/program other than solitaire though.

I wish I had a can of Sprite.

 

You have a can of sprite, drop it, slip on it, and die.

I wish I was Goku.

 

Granted but Trunks never brings the medicine from the future and you die of the heart virus.


I wish I could store money in my belly button without being fat.

 

Granted, but your belly button gets infected from the rust.

I wish I had the power to create tangible objects by thinking of it.

 

Granted but all the things you think up are sentient and want to kill you.

I wish I could read minds.

 

Granted, but the thoughts corrupt your own.

I wish money had no value.

 

Granted, but you go dirt poor, become homeless, and get hit by a van and die.

I wish I was superman.

 

Granted, you are now Superman: http://www.sythe.org/members/208547-superman.html

I wish I could fly a plane

 

Granted, but you only know how to fly it, not take off or land.

I wish for pancake mix.

 

Granted but you're severely allergic to it.

I wish I could sleep properly

 

Granted, but you'll be like Snow White.

I wish I was Pikachu.

 

Granted, but you evolve into Riachu seconds later.

I wish I had dairymilk, right now.