Coming off nearly 2 year painkiller addiction

EDIT: ONE GOOD REASON FOR STAYING CLEAN IS FOR YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ME EVEN AT MY WORST DAYS! I will give this promise to the sythe community, I will stay on the straight path because you guys at least shown me something that I haven't seen since I was 13, you guys show me that someone cares.

People always told me to quit before college and I am starting a personal rehab today

Ive been taking TOXIC amounts of methadone/norco 10|325/Tylenol 3

I wanted to hide my life from others because in my first high school I was bullied terribly and I just didn't want to be bullied anymore so I thought at first I was going to play video games all day and my pain will go away. I won $1500 that year in CoD Pro winnings but my grades suffered. I ended up being expelled and transfered to another high school

I switched to another high school and these people made me feel inadequate or as if I didnt belong. This was the same school I met the girl who got in bed with my old time friend. This school had kids who were just plain old rich and I was that kid who shopped at sales at jc pennies hoping for a $5 shirt. They had no sporting programs at the school or anything and I didnt want to get out of school so by the last semester of this school, I found my dads stash of medications. I was taking minimum amounts but it got worse

my last high school I went to was where it got messed up. I was a cold person because I was just tired of being lonely so I made myself lonely by taking medications and being a dick to everyone around me. Everyone around me wanted myself to quit but they weren't friends I thought would stick around. By the last semester of this school, it was a regular thing and if I didn't take it then I wasn't ever right and people would tell me , " you aren't yourself"

I start college on August 24th and I am trying to be apart of my schools cross country team. They said they were in the Big 8 Conference so I want to at least push for something.

So yeah, I want to get clean. Today is the first day.

 

Congratz for starting your first day a clean man, however from reading what you put i think its quite clear you need some kind of counseling as well.

 

Good luck to you! My best advice on staying clean depends on the level of addiction.

If you feel like you can't function without them, that you feel sick or like your dying if you dont get fucked up, you really only have 1 choice, as it seems going to a rehab isn't one, you need to get things you can make in your room. Such as canned soups, or dried foods.

Get 2 buckets, 1 for pissing 1 for shitting. Have your parents install a lock on your door and lock you in from the outside. This is your best chance of succeeding.


If the addiction isn't THAT bad, it'll be a lot easier, and you probably won't need to use that method unless you have low self control. Just do other things to keep your mind off them.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck and I know it can be hard, I know its gonna suck and youre going to be tempted, but just stay true and keep your goals in sight and I know you can do it!

 

Congrats man. You will do great! They always say the worst part about quitting something is the first 3 days.

You can do it!

 

I've tried before and the 1st day sucks because you can't sleep for anything. and thats why I cracked before.

 

That is some awful advice.

OT: I'm proud man, you can overcome addiction
You said you made 1500$ on COD? Maybe tonight you should fire up a game console and just spend the night playing. Something to make you comfortable, maybe get lost in an RPG

As for other people judging you for being poor, don't worry about that. There are millions of low/middle class people and very few high class people. When you get to the big world of college you will find more people like you. If you were dirt poor you wouldn't be going to college, so don't worry about shopping for shirts on sale because most people (including me) do that stuff anyway.

Good luck overcoming your addiction, if you need any support shoot me pm!

 

I quit cold turkey too man. You get over it (And probably smoke a lot of weed in substitute) but whatever, that's better than letting that stuff eat your liver away upon numerous other health issues that come with it.

 

I actually smoked a gram today and have some more but it sets myself back hard on the lung capacity for running cross country. Im currently entering high altitude training and its more painful than anything.

Im really glad you are healthy though and people who look upon us tell us to just quit but they dont understand how hard it is

I paced myself for nearly an hour going back and forth to the pills and am I glad I didnt take any

 

Good for you! Congrats!

 

This would be better off placed in Personal Support, so i've moved it for you. The quality of the replies here are much higher. Next time give the stickies a skim read .
Thanks.

 

I have a buddy that used this method to get over a meth addiction. His parents only unlocked the door once a day to come in and empty his buckets for him. He was locked in his room for around 3 weeks and hasn't done any kind of drug since except the occasional joint, but either way he has no craving for meth. He told me how he kicked it and said if he would have had a way to get the drugs while being locked in his room, he would have and he would still be using to this day. So, must not be to bad of a method.

 

Grim's advice seems like it would actually work. If you eliminate any possible way to get to what you're addicted to, you're bound to get over it. The only downside is that you don't know how that person will react to not taking the substance they're addicted too for a lengthy amount of time. If they're too dependent on the substance they might attempt to break through walls, smash stuff, and go ape shit. Or they may resort to suicide...

Congrats on being able to quit! Admitting you have a problem, and having the maturity to stand up to yourself and quit is a major first step. Keep at it!

 

Good luck Ridim, honestly this takes some serious strength, I'm *still* trying to get over my addiction of pain killers, I tried to go cold turkey but sometimes I snap and end up taking more because I understand the feeling it gives you, you just don't care anymore and you feel like all your problems go away but when you come down from it or one dose just doesn't feel enough you start taking more and more.. I can't even take pain killers when I'm in pain because I don't feel like it's enough, I just want more and more..

I'm glad you found something to distract yourself with, that's excellent! If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me, again good luck and congrats.

 

I know exactly what you're going through. I just got out of 6 months of rehabs and jail. I'm a good example of where you don't want to end up. One thing is guaranteed with any drug addiction and that's that it will always get worse. I was hooked on opiates and benzos for nearly 10 years along with a meth, crack, ketamine addiction on and off for 6 years. I was just an overall bad person. I used everyone and treated people like shit. I robbed, dealt, stole, did anything to get drugs. I dropped out of college, lost every job I had, ruined countless relationships on top of so much more. I was pretty much homeless for a year living wherever I could and the only reason I went to rehab in the first place was because I got locked up for 3 months first. I've been clean for 6 months now and I've accomplished more in these last months than I have in years. I'm a very different person than what I was. Staying clean is hard as hell though. You have to seriously want it. Getting clean is the easy part. That's what people don't realize. You don't just get through the withdrawals and you're fixed. Addiction is a disease and doesn't just go away. Treating a serious drug addiction is the hardest thing anyone can experience. It's a lifelong struggle and there are always going to be temptations to use some particular substance. Serious addicts rarely stay clean their first time and it normally takes several rehabs before they can do it. You either have to catch your addiction early or eventually hit rock bottom ruining your life in the process. Nearly all my friends I was in rehab with have relapsed, my roommate overdosed 4 days after he got out, and I've lost 2 other friends to heroin and another killed over drugs within 3 months. If I don't stay clean, then I'm probably going to die. If I'm lucky, I'll end up in prison. The chances of me actually making it to another rehab are close to nothing.

This is serious shit man. I feel very strongly about all this. It's good that you've caught it early. I'm not sure how physically hooked on them you are, but I'm guessing it's not too bad. You'll have muscle aches, back pain probably, restlessness, chills, sweating, trouble sleeping/eating. Withdrawals last about a week. The worst of it will last 3-4 days. Just take some kind of pain reliever and sleeping aid. If it's unbearable for you, then I can give you several prescription medications that will help a ton, but otherwise I wouldn't bother. It'll be over soon. You'll need to be really careful though. You're about to go to college, so you're obviously going to be exposed to drugs and alcohol. I'd of course recommend avoiding everything altogether, so you don't risk abusing something else or going back to opiates. As an addict, it's nearly impossible to use a substance without eventually abusing it. Drugs naturally make you feel good, so I also know it's going to be difficult to stay completely clean forever. You can't let things get out of control though and don't let it negatively affect your life. Get a hold of this now before things get real bad.

It's impossible for someone to understand a drug addiction unless you have actually experienced it. If you need anything else, feel free to message me.

 

You guys are extremely supportive and I will always thank you for that.

Nearly 3 days and I have been able to sleep. It was kind of relaxing sort of. Even though I havent slept in 2 days, it was nice to finally watch something that you havent seen in a while, MTV Music Videos from 4am til 7am.

I tried getting some NeuroSleep but my family refuses to buy any sleep medication so I am up and sleeping for 30 minutes every 4 hours. I hope I can sleep tonight. :/

The worst part of this process was seeing this girl from my first high school who urged me to start stealing and I did for awhile. I wanted to be known as her friend and when I saw her she ignored me and when she was walking towards me even told her friend to turn around and walk away from me. It hurt to know that someone I would have anything for just saw me as dirt. I didn't take any pills.

ONE GOOD REASON FOR STAYING CLEAN IS FOR YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ME EVEN AT MY WORST DAYS! I will give this promise to the sythe community, I will stay on the straight path because you guys at least shown me something that I haven't seen since I was 13, you guys show me that someone cares.

@Dimethyl - This is one thing I am afraid of because I know for a fact that even thought they are a short term problem solver, I won't be good in the long haul. I know I could be a great person but I need to leave town and I want to go to UCLA hopefully and ditch the old environment as a whole. I am really sorry for what on in your life. You seem like a great guy that just went down a bad path. You always have a chance to make something out of yourself no matter how late. I had this woman in my class this summer, she was 68 years old and she has started her new life in America and decided she wants to become a lawyer again (she was a lawyer in brazil). Whatever you go through in your life bud, message me and I will be here for you.

@Chloecat - I really hope you get off the painkillers because you can understand the health issue is a main priority. One thing I didnt tell people because I don't want people to really want to take that into account, I grew up with ITP and I have health issues as it is and I grew up around cancer patients for nearly 10 years so I know what it is like to be in bad shape. You have gone cold turkey before and you should understand that once you are off it for a week, you will always feel healthier but the chances of remaining straight are slim to none because of the environment and you are use to the same routine and its hard to turn the corner. It takes alot of strength to do this and I know you can do it because you admitted to us your addiction. I will be here for you and go through the process with you if you want me to.

@Grim - I never want to use that technique and I know it may work but it's sort of like a leash on a dog, it will behave on the leash but as soon as the leash is off then it could go either way. I specifically told my parents they need to grow up and start taking the pills with them because its affecting me. I know that sounds harsh but my parents are young (They had both my sister and I when they were still 18). They understand what I am going through.

 

Obviously you have addictive traits, so your parents keeping you off the sleeping pills is a good thing.

Some girl you knew in high school wanted you to steal, and chose to treat you like shit.. and you actually felt bad about it? Re-read that part of the story and see how fucked up it sounds to be worried about how some petty thief feels about you.

Hopefully you can stay clean, good luck with overcoming your problems

 

First off, you say you have pills lying around the house? You need to get rid of them immediately. The fact that you haven't taken any is a miracle. Few people can do that. Shit, even after being clean for 6 months, I still don't even know if I'm strong enough to turn down drugs if they were right in front of me. I have to do everything I can to avoid situations like that or it could be disastrous for me.

Look man, I'm a realist and I'm just going to be straight up with you. It's going to be hard as hell for you to stay clean long-term. While it's great you've caught it early and it's only been 2 years for you, at the same time, sometimes the only way for an addict to seriously stay clean is to experience enough pain until you can't stand it any longer. Fear is a very strong motivator. You also have to accept the fact that you're an addict and you can't use drugs like normal people. A lot of addicts who haven't been using for long look back and see that their life wasn't all that bad when they were using and they think they can use again successfully thinking that things will be different this time. They might be able to for a little while, but that doesn't last long. You're at the time in your life where most people start using drugs. The chances of you being able to turn a substance down consistently if you're exposed to it isn't good. You might be able to do it for a while, but the time will eventually come where you will slip. Really your only chance to stay clean is to avoid any situation where drugs or alcohol are going to be present. I know how hard that'll be since alcohol is everywhere, but I would say for at least the first year. You may not be a big drinker and you might even be able to drink normally for a little while, but drinking also changes how you think. It lowers your ambition and will eventually lead you back to opiates, especially considering alcohol and opiates stimulate the same part of the brain. One of the biggest things to stay clean is simple. You need to be happy. You have to reach that point in your life where you feel like you no longer need to use drugs to feel good. Find your passion and do something that will keep your mind busy. Boredom and stress are the two biggest triggers. You have to do things that you enjoy, so you aren't always thinking about drugs, especially early on in your recovery. Surround your self with people you like being with and that are a positive impact on you.

It'll definitely get easier, but also don't ever get too confident. It'll get you when you least expect it. I know several people who had 10+ years clean and ended up relapsing. It happens. Relapsing is a part of recovery for most people. If you do end up using once, don't get down on yourself. It's not the end of the World. Just get control of it before it gets worse. You'll realize how much better life is without always having to use. It might not seem that way at first, but you'll reach that point. When you've been numbing your emotions for so long, it's going to be difficult to feel again. I never felt remorse for my actions when I was using, but once I got clean, the shame and guilt I felt for everything I did was unbearable at times. I thought I was a terrible person for so long and I had no respect for myself at all. Now that I'm clean for the first time in 10 years, I'm actually hopeful for the future. I realize now that I actually am a good person. Drugs will make people do anything because it's an obsession unlike anything else. It feels good to actually care about others again instead of always being a selfish asshole. I also know now that I have the ability to be successful if I stay clean. All my talents that I lost because of drugs, I'm now trying to focus on again. I've fixed my relationships with my family, friends, my girlfriend, and have made new sober friends. I just moved into a new apartment, found a good job, and am working on getting back into school. Things are good right now and it's only been 3 months. Do I still get cravings? Every fucking day. I always will, but I'll be good as long as I don't act out on them. Just take your mind off it if you find yourself thinking about using. It'll go away in no time. If I can stay clean, then you can too. You already seem like you got things pretty figured out with your future, which is a big deal, but remember that drugs will make you lose all of that. You can do this. Just don't ever give up.

 

I wish you the best of luck kicking your addiction! I myself recently started attending OEA due to my addiction to sugary treats. It got to the point where I could not get through the day without a tube of Shocktarts or Warheads. My Dr. seemed to think that I was addicted to a chemical in the candies. To be more specific, Citric Acid. But enough about me.

Biggest thing I could say to this is to surround yourself with positive influences and remove anything negative. That helped me with my problem and now I am slowly, but surely, fixing this part of my life.

Good luck my friend. The next few weeks may suck for you, but you will be able to laugh them off soon. <3

 

Mate, Great job, I find it relaxing drinking hot chocolet (Kiddy) under the heater on the cold winter night WATCHING HORROR MOVIES!

Mate, If you need support just add me on Skype, Fivebots, I lost 2 friends in my life time on rs, Both due to car crashes (completely different but still) My goal isn't to make my life happy it's to make others happy, I look like a fat dopy fagget, but still making people lifes happy makes your life happy.

Try Helping people, Maybe some community services, You will feel good and will distract you from the Pain Killers and the Real world

 

Had some terrible headaches today, took 2 advil and it knocked the pain away. It felt like a bad migraine.

I don't do community service outside of what was required by my schools because my community in my town is kind of... not a great community. Even if you do good, no one cares and they will mess it up. I live in the ghetto and people try to intimidate me when im jogging haha. As much pain as i was in for the past 2 days, im glad no one was by me cause i would of taken it out on them.

5 days gone but you guys are right, i need something to distract me because I really just want something . Its still hard to sleep but im getting use to it.

@Dimethyl - TBH its hard to find people to be around me because i never really had a good friends in high school and the people I met at college during the summer wanted to go out drinking and I don't like drinking at all for some reason, my sister loves the stuff but I will just feel like barfing and I know thats how it usually is and people get use to it but I just don't want to. Another possible thing is that whenever I took the drugs it made me feel like I can accomplish things that I couldn't do without. It was like an adderall placebo effect. That's is one thing that I am scared of though. Reliability on drugs throughout college and when I run out, what is going to happen? I might go to the doctor because my teachers told me I might have ADD but they say that to kids who act out. I am not saying I have it or not but I just don't want to relapse during college and turn out like my parents.

I am glad to hear your life got better though. It's nice to see someone who went through it longer than I did and came out as a prime example. I am now understand what you mean about cravings won't go away for awhile so you need a distraction.