I'm a Fuckin' Loser

I don't expect to be helped, I really do appreciate the offer though. I'm rarely on skype, but next time I'm on I will add you, but not to ask for advice, if ever I vent to you on skype, it will be just that, venting.

I can only afford a public defender, the only "real lawyer" in the immediate area wanted 1500$ just to meet with him the first time.

I wouldn't consider it a woe is me attitude. I would consider it a depressive disability I have been dealing with all of my life. I am not here for compliments or anything of the such, I am here to vent because simply put, it makes me feel better to type out my problems and hit the post button regardless of the replies I get.

I discovered a few months ago that these days it is 100% impossible to post on sythe without being judged and people attempting to put you down for your post. I have abandonment issues and friendlessness issues myself, but those are the least of my problems these days and I'm glad to hear you came out of it all very good. I plan on keeping my head up, its all I can do afterall.

Even so, no matter what if the scenario goes the way I fear, I will be a loser and there is no way around that.

 

First, I know you said you posted this to vent your feelings here, and that's 100% fine, but don't expect everyone here to say "Oh man that sucks dude wow ur life does suck hope everything works out" because what is that going to do for you? Nothing, someone might as well try to get you to think, "yeah, i guess i do have a job and im lucky to not be in jail, and I have some income now too, even if it's little". If you can't handle someone on an online forum telling you what you seem to don't want to hear, i'd advise getting a diary instead and writing this all there. I'm sorry if I initally came off rude, but honestly dude, try to look at the bright side. I really like you from what I've seen grim, you're a cool ass dude and do shit your own way, but I can't stand woe is me garbage like this.

And secondly, if you're seriously trying to tell me that whole post wasn't complete self pity, then you need to look up what self pity is.

I'm sorry that I can't relate to the guy because I've never gone through anything like he is. Am I suddenly a bad person for offering some input for him to look on the brightside?

 

TO LOYAL: just the whole quit the self pity bullshit remark. Sometimes people are allowed to vent instead of being judged sadly Grimm knew there would be some people just posting whatever first comes to their mind. Keep it bright but everyone has the right to self pity if thats what gets them out of the shit. I self pitied before i got out my destructive ways and i came out pretty darn good.



Grimm though man my only recommendation is just get it together. Life isn't suppose to be about eating shit and then dying, theres more to it. Man, i would recommend either going to Navy or some military branch to get you discipline as well as it would look great on your resume. By the way, youd be able to move out of the town your in, it sounds like its not good for anything man. Once you get out of the legal stuff, strongly consider this bro, im telling you youd also be able to move out to another state with a job set up etc like my step brother.

What are your goals though? Like is there anything you really want to be? Entrepreneur, Director, Actor, Writer, Musician, Engineer, etc.?
Ask yourself these questions and find out how you can get there because all i can tell you is a new life isnt going to fall out of the sky sadly. You were dealt the cards you were given and they may not be the best cards but they ain't the worst. If your against military then i feel you bro, just a suggestion, seems like the quickest way out of that mess and it would offer you a completely different outlook on life.

You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

 

I was in a similar position with my Runescape situation. I just try and find things to fill the time I used to play with and don't think about it. If I think about it, I want to play it. If I log into free and play for a bit, I want members again.. And then I play members for a bit and it starts all over again. Even as I type this right now, I just want to log in and fuck around.

Now, I don't do that stuff anymore. I do other things with the time. I have been reading, exploring the outdoors, learning German, sort-of learning how to cook, cycling, and a few other things. It's all about occupying your time with positive things... Just like when overcoming an addiction.. Only now that I think about it, Runescape was an addiction to me and I don't have to stop doing anything else except wasting my time clicking on a log or some shit for 35 hours. Playing Runescape had more of a negative effect on my life than anything else I've ever done. I should probably quit with the cigarettes too.


I don't know the whole child support shit. I wasn't stupid enough to have a child with someone I wouldn't want to marry. I feel bad for you man, but then again I don't. No offense.

 

The money you'd spend/go in debt getting the custody stripped and thus not have to pay child support (I don't think you would) is probably less than what you'll have to spend if you don't. Both instances you'll lose money but one is for the greater good even though it'll take her away from you. You know who she is, you could always find an adopting family that would allow her to meet you if you cleaned up your life (no offence).

 

Living with your mom doesn't make you a loser. In today's society more and more people are starting to do it to save money because the economy is bad.

 

Opportunity is needed in one's life. Maybe it hasn't shown appreciation for you.

 

this is what i wanted to say earlier as well. it's not like you can sink any lower, giver hard in life my dude, there's so many opportunities and ways to brighten your life.

 

Now that you can't/don't play RS, perhaps you can draw or take online tutorials for drawing. Practise makes perfect. With a good portfolio & practice you could probably get a job as an assistant in a tattoo/piercing shop at least. Then, after basic health & safety and needlework training from people in the shop, get a job tattooing.

Also, you could probably feed yourself on 60$ a month. Or at least, I could probably live on the £ equivalent of that if I tried. Get your wife to apply for McDonalds or something too, money's money. You can get jobs giving out brochure's and collecting orders here pretty quick, I'm pretty sure there are similar things in the US.

Good luck man, not an easy situation at all. Although do try to stop smoking.

 

Well, you have a hard life there. My sympathies's with you. But as far as your life is concerned, don't lose hope. You'll expect brightness and sunshine when you'll lease expect it. Start working hard and being all positive. The more negative you'll become, the more sad you'll be. Cut out all the things that would be like, wastage of smoking. Try to cut down smoking and alcohol, save money, and look for more jobs if you can. Best of luck, buddy.

 

Also, Grim, ive been following most of your threads man and if you ever need to vent, let me know, you seem like a cool dude and i went through my own rocker phase through middle school/ highschool which both sucked ass.

Keep posting when you make progress man, were all here for you and we want to hear about your success, seriously man.

Pm me anytime or skype me brother.