Writing a story

A few days or so ago, I had a post about how back in school I had a knack for writing and that I could probably even be a writer but instead want a real job (manual labor) instead of just typing all day, but as my job search has gone on for years and if I understand right, these writers get paid pretty good... So I thought hey might as well see how rusty I am and try to type up a decent story!

So, now I wanted to share it with the community so you guys could read it and tell me if all the years of not doing this kind of thing has made it to where I shouldn't even try to finish this, or if you think my writing skills are good enough to possibly finish this and seek to publish it.

This is just a random chapter that I have so far. It has not been proofread or revised at all, so it's really like a rough draft of one of the chapters. So far this is the only chapter with sexuality, and as far as I have planned, it will be the only chapter with anything sexual to this extent. (I remember reading the book "Once..." and it had some really graphical but short writen parts where the character had sex with a fairie and woke up to find he was being sucked off in his sleep by a succubus and I thought it was a nice touch to the book.)

So here it is, the chapter in which our main character (named after myself) meets the girl that later becomes his wife and mother of his children (named after my own wife kind of)

PS: Any helpful criticism you have for when I revise this chapter would be appreciated


Title: Divideum
Setting: Medieval era fantasy


He awoke. What happened? Where was he? Grimm sat up and looked around. He was naked in a bed, but where? Then he remembered what had happened, he looked down and saw the bandages on his chest. He stood up and looked around the room, it was empty but there was a mirror hanging on the wall nearby. He walked across the room and looked into it. “What the fuck” He asked himself as he looked upon his face, it was covered in a design. He studied it shortly and discovered it was a tribal like skull, outlining his own on the top half of his face. He wiped at his face but the black wouldn’t come off. He inspected the design closer and found that it was etched into his face; it was permanent. Then he noticed over his shoulder he wasn’t alone. He turned around quickly and examined the young girl. She was very young and very small. She had a muscular frame and medium breasts. She was almost completely naked and sitting on a small pillar. A golden band covered her genitals and a small golden plate just barely covered her nipples. A large golden ring was around her neck and went around covering her left shoulder and formed a golden wing of metal from the back of her shoulder. Her hair all went to her right side, as if she were sitting sideways on a wall and her ears were long like Elf ears, but she did not appear to be of the Elven race.
“Did you bring me here?”
“No…”
“Who are you?”
“Zodin didn’t tell you?”
“He never mentioned you.”
“Just like Zodin to forget such things… I am Visage.”
“And why did Zodin send you?”
“To guide you of course.”
Grimm looked at her dumbstruck. She giggled and said, “You are in Lothering. You must go north and underground to the Dwarven city of Stonewall. I’ll find you there.” And with that, she disappeared with a puff of smoke.

The door opened and a young Nord woman shuffled in. She looked up and saw Grimm standing there and let out a surprised scream. He stood still staring at her and waiting for her to recover, “How can you stand already” she asked, slowly walking towards him. “How long was I asleep and how did you get me to Lothering” Grimm asked in return. She reached out and carefully touched his bandaged chest, “I found you near Goldrush Mine, and you seemed stable even though you were so badly wounded, so I binded your wounds with magic, put you on my horse and brought you back here… so about a week.” Grimm examined her more closely. She was absolutely beautiful. Her hair was very light blonde like his own, her right eye was dark blue but her left eye was pure white and a scar ran down the length of her cheek. Her body was thick and chubby and her breasts were very full and large. She wore green and yellow colored linens and a dagger hung from her wide hips. “Why are you staring at me like that” she asked. Grimm looked away quickly and his pale face turned bright red, “I’ve never seen a woman as beautiful as you” he muttered embarrassingly. She giggled and said, “But we don’t even know each other’s names! Well, I’m Bethan.” Grimm smiled at her, “I’m Grimm” he said happily.

She walked over to a cupboard and pulled Grimm’s armor and a sword with gold designs from within. Grimm’s eyes got big as he remembered Zodin giving him the sword, and he quickly took it from her to examine it. It was short, but sharp and the design resembled the ones on his axe. “What about my axe” he asked. She looked at him confused and said, “That was the only weapon near you.” As he was getting dressed she began to gut fish on the table, “I hope you like my cooking,” she said happily. Grimm sat back down on the bed, his chest still bare, and he watched her as she cooked.

“It’s ready” Bethan called out waking him. “Oh, I must have dosed off,” Grimm said as he sat back up on the bed and looked towards the table. Two plates sat on the table with fish on them and Bethan was pouring mead into a wooden cup. “Ah, my favorite” He called out as he rushed to the table. He drank the entire cup with one big gulp and let out a relieved sigh of approval. She giggled and poured him another cup. They sat down at the table and began eating.
“What happened to you out there?”
“I am… was a mercenary fighting against the Avian armies”
“Oh, I’m sorry I couldn’t save anyone else.”
“It’s not your fault”
“You look very capable of killing Avians… How did you get so badly hurt?”
“They were led by a demon…”
Bethan stared at him. “A demon” she asked. “Yes, a very powerful one named Relic” he replied. He struggled to suppress the anger and depression he felt when he said the demons name. Relic had killed all of his friends and allies, as well as his pride.

After they ate the sun had set and both were feeling ready for sleep. “I won’t take your bed any longer,” Grimm said and started to sit down on the floor. Bethan giggled and said “we’ve been sharing the bed this long, why would I kick you out now?” Grimm looked surprised, “You’ve been sleeping beside me all this time?” She giggled loudly and grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into the bed. He brushed against her soft body and felt himself getting aroused. He gently wrapped his arm around her body and she pushed her butt firmly into his crotch and rested the back of her head against his face.

He squeezed her tighter and began uncontrollably kissing her neck. She let out a satisfied whimper and turned to him, “what are you trying with me?” Grimm looked into her eyes and whispered, “I’m not sure.” She kissed him passionately; their tongues met and seemed to dance with each other. He pulled her on top of him and held her tightly as he got more aroused. She started biting his neck as she positioned herself over his penis. She lowered her body very slowly onto him as he penetrated her. She let out a quiet moan as she set up straight on top of him; she fit him like a glove. He grabbed her hips as she started to bounce, her breasts mesmerized him as they moved infront of his eye and he set up to suck on her nipples as she rode him. She started moaning loudly and bouncing harder onto him. He held her tighter and felt it coming. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck and let out a scream as they both came in a blaze of passion.

His eyes opened slowly. Bethan was spread out on him, one leg and one arm over his body while her head rested on his shoulder. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead lightly. She began to stir, looking up at him, “good morning,” she said with a smile. “I have a journey to make today,” he said sadly. “Take me with you,” she pleaded and grabbed him tightly. He looked at her and thought for a second, then said “It’ll be too dangerous.” She laughed loudly and said, “I don’t fear demons. I fear never seeing you again.” A wide smile crossed Grimm’s face and he nodded in agreement.

They got dressed and armed for the journey north to Stonewall. As he walked out of the door, he thought he saw Visage from the corner of his eye, but when he turned around to look, there was nothing there. Bethan began strapping the horse with supplies while Grimm looked around, “I’ve never been in Lothering until now.” Bethan turned to him and smiled, “It’s nothing special, c’mon, let’s go!” Grimm jumped up onto the horse and helped her climb up behind him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and said “Be my hero.”

 

can you sum it up for me? I dont got time bro

 

a long story...

 

a story as in a whole book. Why would I get a 1 paragraph story published? this is just 1 chapter... Don't have it open atm but I think its chapter 3.

A sum up of the story or chapter? the chapter, the main character meets the girl that will be his wife later in the story, they have sex and head out on a quest together.

A sum up of the entire story, is a child born of war is stabbed by a demon (an evil-god's general) in battle, is saved by a god, made into the god's general and then goes on a quest to get revenge as well as kill above said evil-god.

Its NOT a christianity kind of thing where "oh you go to hell blah blah" its more like there being 6 gods and 1 evil god and they are based on many different things from norse gods to greek gods and alot others, none of them have the gods names, but the way i depict them, what they are gods of, and so on resembles it, like Bjorlin is the goddess of beauty and based on the norse goddess freyja.

 

Great story i wish i had some kind of talent like this=/ I did write pretty good stuff in highschool though.

edit: I do have like 3 pages on my pc of something i was writing in my spare time a few years ago. This thread made me take a second look at it and continue on with it.