"Friend"

So while I was at work today, I was talking to a coworker and she mentioned that we were friends. I immediately responded with, "I don't exactly consider us 'friends'. [smile]" She looked at me weird and questioned why I thought not. Note: We don't talk outside of work at all, hang out, etc.

To that I responded with, "What is your definition of a friend?" Once again, all I got was a blank stare. She finally rebutted with, "I will have to get back to you on that."

From my point of view, a friend is someone whom you actually spend time doing an activity with (at least once a year) and that you talk with consistently - whether it be over IM, text message, or verbal conversation. However, most people take the slanderous word "friend" for whom I consider to merely be an acquaintance.

So here is the question: Who do you consider a friend to be? Or better yet, What is considered friendship? Please don't go with the dictionary/encyclopedia/Wikipedia definition. -.-

 

For me, a friend is considered like those who are always in contact with you, the ones you love, the ones you can turn to when you have problems and etc.

I've also met people like the one you explained. We met online though and had a short chat just asking for an introduction and etc. When I said that I had to go, she asked for contact number right away and have labelled me as her friend. I was indeed a bit harsh and I replied, "What makes you think we are friends? We just had a short chat for like 10mins or so. Sorry, but I'm not giving my contact number to you. ". She instantly went offline. I realized that the word "friend" are sometimes used in the wrong way.

But I still can't let myself through about sharing personal accounts with them. Not at that level yet.

 

A friend to me is someone I'm in reasonable contact with or can genuinely trust (or both). I have different levels of friends, some not being much more than acquaintances, some I'd trust just about anything with.

 

A friend is someone I can trust, turn to when I have a problem, and someone who would do the same. I don't think the length of time you've known someone matters regarding friendship (to an extent), but rather how much you've talked to them and gotten to know them.

People I don't speak to outside of work and college, and who I don't see unless i bump into them in town or at a party I wouldn't consider friends, no matter how well we get along in college/work, as that's more a working relationship, and I feel like I don't personally know those people and therefore for me they can't be my friend.

 

A friend is a person who helps you in your bad times.

 

I think a friend is purely your view of what one is. You can have friends that are work friends and then your social friends. I think it is purely how you see it.

 

As I read through it, only 1 word came to mind "Trust".

I would never call anyone my friend if I couldn't trust them. There are friends I trust, but only to an extent, while others I can trust more with. I consider the ones I can trust more with a better friend. Because on the way to gaining my trust, things happened where they had the chance to show it. But in order to gain my trust, they would have to spend time, so they would have to be interesting in a way, for me to open up and just keep up.

I wouldn't classify friends as work and social friends, in work you could have rivals (some healthy ones), but there would be this person you dislike. I wouldn't call him a friend or an enemy, simply because I don't trust him it wouldn't make him my enemy. Also anyone from work that treats you like a friend is more likely to be a facade. They want the promotion, they want a favor from you, they are trying to find a weakness, they pretend because they are being watched. Just a few months ago, I was out of the country to check up and manage my dad's restaurant. This was my first time and it was a fresh experience. Anyone with less power than you instantly tries to be on your good list, try to be friends with you. It's terrible because you don't know which one is genuine, needless to say I know most of them were kissing up. I've experienced both types of "friends", although I wouldn't call the ones that sweet talks you to get something in return a friend.

 

With somethings in life, you have to just let it go. She called you a friend after your short-time acquaintance which shows her definition is different from yours. I am sure she would not expect much of you unless she is psychotic. There is no defined time for someone to become a "friend" so imo, you should have let it go and just went with it. Confrontational behavior, like this, over nonsense will only weigh down your social life. Just my 2 cents.

 

This exactly though. Although I'd never do that to anyone and deny being friends even if they said so, or asking what gave them that idea. It puts them off really, and could turn a potential friend into someone that dislikes you.

 

Exactly. I am not mean enough to say such a thing. It is a very childish thing to do (no offense), something I would expect in middle school. Just throwing a scenario out there, hey maybe you don't care, but what if she is suicidal and all she needed was someone to be able to call a "friend"?

 

She has a boyfriend and she talks to everybody at work. She has tons of friends outside of work, and is always "happy".

I more or less did it as playful banter (and partially a mind fuck). Not to mention you get a facial reaction to it (which you can partially read into if you know how to analyze). Finally, I use it to gauge whom my "friends"... or associates... are and how they think compared to me. She is supposedly getting back to me on what her definition of one is, as stated by her. However, that wasn't exactly the topic of this thread, so please stay on topic!

Everyone has very interesting viewpoints on what a friend is to them! Keep it coming.

 

I think the way you said it was kind of rude for one. You could have said "I consider you an acquaintance, considering the fact we only talk inside of work, but maybe that could change". Something a long those lines.

EDIT: What i would constitute a friend would be someone you are close with and can talk on somewhat a personal level, but also have fun with that person to IE going to a party or going bowling or playing ps3. Also someone you can just "shoot the shit" with.

 

Wow sounds like you are having a great experience with her.

 

To me, a friend is someone I trust.
If I trust someone in my house when there is £20 left lying around on the table while I'm out the room, they are my friend. However there are some that I'd have to out the £20 away before I'd trust them to enter my home.

 

I have friends, and co-workers. My friends are ones that I will hang out with outside of work.

My close friends are my inner circle, like my bros.

 

A friend is someone you can go to and like chill with , go hang out and that's sorta rude bro telling your co worker that don't you have any social skills -.- to much being on sythe messed with your irl social skills

 

Being on sythe and my real life don't conveen, but I kinda find it funny when I work with people and they think I'm their friend since I talk to them at work.

 

By this definition, I have no friends. I run into people I know around town, we shake hands, catch up for a good part of 5 minutes and then go back on our own ways. Some of these people I consider friends, some I consider to just people I know, or once knew.

The difference to me, is that friends are the ones you care about. 90% of people that I know could die right infront of me and I wouldnt flinch. A friend dies and for a short time, you feel sad or like something isn't how its supposed to be.

 

When I consistently talk to someone and become "joking" around them, i consider them friends. But the one's i hang around with i consider family and bro's. They're always welcome to eat over for dinner or whatever or if they need a place to sleep because they got wasted and can't go home. Then there's the category i don't even have a name for. Where if they killed someone on tape, i would still believe they didn't do it. That's a category with only two people in it though.

When you think about it, it's the same exact thing you think but i have different sub-categories with different levels of friendship.

 

Friends are those who don't talk behind ur back, and help u when ur in trouble at anytime.