Need help REALLY badly

Discussion in 'Support Archives' started by Blupig, Aug 12, 2012.

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Need help REALLY badly
  1. Unread #1 - Aug 12, 2012 at 12:29 PM
  2. Blupig
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    Okay so I've known this girl for about 2 weeks. She's cool, we hung out, and just recently we started showing interest in each other. So yesterday we went to see a movie, held hands, etc etc, then that night I walked her home and we sat on the sidewalk and held hands some more, made out, all the regular stuff. What was weird though, is that as I left I started to ask myself "What have I done?"

    This is where it gets tricky - Before last night I was thinking about asking her out, but wasn't entirely sure if I liked her or not. I didn't know if my feelings were misplaced, or if they were real. Maybe I just wanted the physical contact or just someone to hang out with. I felt VERY confused about the whole thing, especially because I'm still on the tail-end of my feelings for another girl that I dated a year ago.

    Now, when I got home and checked my Facebook last night, this new girl changed her relationship status to "In a relationship" and everything. I know I should feel good about this, but instead I started to feel panicky and even sick. I thought I'd watch an episode of Breaking Bad to distract myself and think about it today instead, but I wasn't even able to finish it because that feeling of anxiousness was so strong.

    Today I still feel the same - My stomach feels like its upside down (not in a good way), I feel sort of light headed and have absolutely no desire to eat nor sleep. I don't know if this feeling is at all related to what I posted in this thread http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=1446879 or what, I'm really really confused about what I'm feeling and have no idea what to do.

    I was thinking about talking to her tomorrow (she's having a party tonight which I'll probably skip, but I wouldn't want her to feel down during that if I talked to her today) and just telling her straight up exactly what I'm telling all of you.

    Please give me your thoughts
     
  3. Unread #2 - Aug 12, 2012 at 12:46 PM
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    Need help REALLY badly

    To be honest the best advice I could give is just "go for it and see what happens".
    Just go out with her and see how you feel. Go to the party she's having and see what happens that night.
     
  5. Unread #3 - Aug 12, 2012 at 1:00 PM
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    If it's not meant to be then it isn't, talk to her, see what she says then maybe you might have a different outlook on the situation. Just relax, don't stress overly about it and you know whats best - on the basis if you like her or not.

    Hopefully the advice I gave you didn't sound to cliche.
     
  7. Unread #4 - Aug 12, 2012 at 1:15 PM
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    There's really only one way to determine what you should do, i need to know, however, when she changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" did she send you a request to be her boyfriend or did she just change it?
     
  9. Unread #5 - Aug 12, 2012 at 3:32 PM
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    I'm assuming she just changed it herself, if that's the case then she's obviously interested in you, or she was seeing two guys at the same time lol.
    Invite her out somewhere and see how it goes, you don't have to be like "oh will you go out with me" to be in a relationship with someone, she probably likes you, sounds like you had a really good time, and if you like her i hope everything you want to happen, if things are going too fast tell her, be honest.


    edit; just curious, why would you skip the party?
     
  11. Unread #6 - Aug 12, 2012 at 5:58 PM
  12. Blupig
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    She requested it to me so that it would say that we're in a relationship with each other


    I still feel pretty sick, my hands have been trembling all day and if I in fact don't like her I wouldn't want to lead her on at the party tonight. I just confronted that other girl and asked if she still liked me, she said no, so at least that's a load off my back. What I'm most worried about is that my feelings for this new girl are just misplaced from the old one...I think I might have to get some time to sort out my emotional confusion before I can really commit to anything new.
     
  13. Unread #7 - Aug 12, 2012 at 6:02 PM
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    This reminds me of when i was younger, i messed some girls around about changing my mind on if i liked them or not, some hated me for it.
    in the end every relationship ive been in ive panicked when getting into cos its a massive change but now i just ride it out and see what happens.

    best of luck
     
  15. Unread #8 - Aug 12, 2012 at 6:27 PM
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    I'm partially like yourself and will get on very well with the opposite sex when we're alone and together. But when apart I can only think of their flaws which makes me not what to see them again. It's just me being picky and I've "missed out" from being in many potential relationships because of it. If you're happy when you're together then that's all that matters. You just need time to get over you're previous experiences. Facebook definitely does not help and I'm glad I deleted mine. If you're happy when you're with her, then stop overthinking and let it all come naturally. No one is perfect.

    Posted from my iPod so excuse any mistakes.
     
  17. Unread #9 - Aug 12, 2012 at 6:31 PM
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    To keep it short and simple.. Forget the girl from one year ago and go for it with this one. What is the worst that can happen? she clearly wants you and now the ball is in your court man. The girl from one year a go is history. Your lucky that the girl has kind of made the first move with the "fb status" change... cuz most guys are out there not even knowing what the girl is thinking. YOU KNOW what she wants.. and its you, so go for it and if it doesn't work out... you still get a couple of good nights out of it haha.

    you will never know what could've been unless you go for it.
     
  19. Unread #10 - Aug 12, 2012 at 6:43 PM
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    Okay, well there's always honesty, just tell her how you feel, it sucks being in a situation such as yours but it seems like you're handling it the right way, Hopefully things will work out. I don't know what else to say other than talk to her about your feelings.
     
  21. Unread #11 - Aug 12, 2012 at 7:09 PM
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    Hmm how long since you broke up with the girl you were dating before? Usually its good to not try to date another girl right away as you will misplace feelings onto her. This could be the case, although usually when I misplace feelings I don't feel sick and tremble or anything like what you described.

    I think you should tell her how you feel for sure. If she is a good person who really does care about you she will give you time to figure things out and she will show that she cares.

    Also you know you can't go back to the first girl, so you should at least give this other girl a try if she actually cares about you and shows it.
     
  23. Unread #12 - Aug 12, 2012 at 8:07 PM
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    Yeah I've been gathering advice from a few people and it's all pretty much lead to just talking to her about it tomorrow. I broke up with the last girl last June or so (long time I know), but it was my mistake that I kept in contact with her so I've pretty much been dragging my feelings for her out over the course of the last year. You're right though, I now know there's no going back so I can only look forward.

    The reason why we broke up is because SHE gave ME a try, and it didn't end well. I felt used since apparently she never really liked me but thought she'd give me the chance. The last thing I'd want is for someone else to feel that way, because it completely ruined a good couple months of my life.

    tl;dr I'll sit down with her tomorrow and talk to her about it. Hopefully by then my mind might be a bit more clear so I can convey how I feel a bit better :p
     
  25. Unread #13 - Aug 12, 2012 at 8:20 PM
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    Need help REALLY badly

    don't be so worried! you're not being forced into anything :p

    Just hang out with her for a while, see how it goes, and if you like her, you like her, if not, oh well, there's plenty of other girls.

    Best of luck anyway :)
     
  27. Unread #14 - Aug 12, 2012 at 9:29 PM
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    I think you have to tell the new girl that you really liked the date and the kiss but it's a little early to call what you have with her a relationship, although you wouldnt mind seeing it go that way possibly. Communicating with her and being as honest as possible while giving her hope is the best bet.
    As for the sickness, you have to think as the situation you're in as positive. Worst case scenario you break up with her early if it isnt meant to be.
    It sounds like you're wounded from your past relationship and still getting over that/afraid you might experience the same pain from this one when it ends. I personally think a new relationship would be good for you.
     
  29. Unread #15 - Aug 12, 2012 at 9:53 PM
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    Relationships like this are perfect man, I don't no what your worried about?

    See where it goes if it works out, GREAT. If not then what have you really lost?

    You have only been out once, I suggest taking her some place for dinner to find out more =) Dont stress alls good your only young have fun get out there and see what happens.

    Let us know how it goes =)
     
  31. Unread #16 - Aug 12, 2012 at 11:52 PM
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    If she requested it for the both of you then you need to stop that before you end up getting stabbed, seriously. Take it from me who have had friends like this, hence "had", they were crazy and did things to guys that would prevent you from ever having another situation like this.
     
  33. Unread #17 - Aug 13, 2012 at 2:15 AM
  34. Blupig
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    Well I'm talking to her about it tomorrow, she seems to be completely fine with the fact that I never accepted the request and is totally open to discuss it with me. Don't get me wrong though, first sign of crazy and I'm outta there :p
     
  35. Unread #18 - Aug 13, 2012 at 4:26 AM
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    Depends on his age TBH if you are like 15-8 that always happens, you take a girl out once and she automatically thinks you are in a relationship. As long as they talk about it I think it will work out fine.
     
  37. Unread #19 - Aug 13, 2012 at 4:28 PM
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    Sending you a request after one night and a kiss is a sign of crazy.
     
  39. Unread #20 - Aug 13, 2012 at 5:01 PM
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    You might have overwhelmed yourself with your emotions or something of that nature, often times if we allow our minds and emotions to run out of control they can cause physical ailments and manifestations inside of the body..... this is a common occurrence.... trust your instincts, heart, and your gut concerning choices... IF you have a lot of fear inside of you, these things can often create disease or energetic blockages..... you are young, the whole thing is too important in your head, have fun and don't drive yourself crazy!
     
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