Newflag

thanks for the ego boost

 

07 .

 

Newfag and proud!

 

ive been here 4 months
am i a newfag still

if so, when do i become a member instead of a newfag

 

blupig, I would swim up the Amazon with 45 pound dumbells tied to my scrotum and Elen Degeneres's queef as my air supply if it meant I could eat a nice seafood dinner with you over Skype on a dial up internet connection

 

lol I ate some octopus the other day, felt like I was sucking a dick with suction cups on it

 

So I messaged you just to chat but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you chat with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

 

This is like one of JJKK's stories I read it all, good read.