My time has come

[Skyline GTR]

I have been pondering on this issue for a long time now, i can always seem to push it away and make everything look like its just fine and dandy. I has both anxiety and depression which were passed through genetics, my life at the moment is a complete dysfunction. I have had post traumatic stress due to a car accident which i believe i should have been killed and i don't even deserves to live anymore, at the same time the love of my life dumped me and i was left with no feeling. I seemed to move on and a few years later i had met a beautiful girl, which i never would have thought was going to happen after the way i felt after coming merely seconds away from suicide, late on in the relationship she was raped, i still blame myself to this day, we are no longer together.

I have seen a therapist for several months things seems to get better for about a month and then back into a relapse where i feel complete uselessness. I go through crazy thought cycles where things just go over and over and over in my head, i have tried everything except the use of anti depressants which i do not want to do. I find it hard to function normally but i still act like nothing is wrong with me. I have taken up pills which i take on a regular basis which is the only thing i can look for in life anymore, the only true feeling of happiness where i forget everything. I no longer have any close friends due to a falling out due to having sexual relations with a girl with a boyfriend about 15 times. He is yet to find out and i am scared to tell him because it is just so wrong for both of us to do. I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes as i am crying.

I think the world would be better off without me,

peace love unity respect

 

[AnthonyL1991]

Please reconsider this decision! Everything happens for a reason, there is ups and downs in life, but even when you are at your lowest you will bounce back making you a stronger person. If you need somebody to talk to please send me a Private Message.

 

Please don't do this, life can be beautiful. PM me if you want to talk, I won't make you but just know I'm here if you need me.

 

[MdM]

Try finding a new group of friends. No matter what, everything always feels better when you have lots of friends You just gotta keep yourself around people who enjoy you. You'll realize the world isn't that bad of a place, sometimes bad things just happen. Trust me, plenty of other people have it 500x worse off then you. In a year or so, or even a few months, you'll look back and regret ever even thinking about killing yourself. Just remember, time passes, people forget, people move on, people change. Things will work out.

 

You are NOT useless! Please don't do this! Like anthony said, life has its ups and downs, you're just at a down.

 

[Skyline GTR]

I am going away for the night to clear my head, to be by myself and cry. I feel so helpless in this world, i can't reach out to my to anyone because i am scared of being judged. Maybe the crying will help maybe it wont but i am doing all i can at the moment

 

[Joker91]

Why won't you use anti-depressants? Some people just NEED them. They aren't a weakness or a fault, they just help to balance you chemically. I take them daily, and my life has only improved because of this. All of my friends and family are aware of the fact that I need them, and none of them look down on me because of it.

Also, I can REALLY relate with the car wreck. I had one a year ago, died, was revived, and am currently living with some extremely noticeable scars. If you're further interested in it, I actually made a topic here concerning it.

http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=1056586

You're welcome to add my msn or message me here if you would like to. I'm someone who can relate a bit with some of the other experiences you've had as well.

Only YOU can decide if you're going to let this beat you or not, but I'm more than willing to help you through it all if you choose to fight back.

 

[S]

Seems like a troll, if not; reconsider your decision. Life presents many opportunities; just have to reach out and grab them.

 

I am going away for the night to clear my head, to be by myself and cry. I feel so helpless in this world, i can't reach out to my to anyone because i am scared of being judged. Maybe the crying will help maybe it wont but i am doing all i can at the moment

I am a PM away or if you want add my MSN: [email protected]
I'm going through some of the same stuff, so if you want to just let it all out you can PM me and I won't talk back if you don't want me to say anything. Just don't kill yourself please.

 

[Coinshare]

Seems like a troll, if not; reconsider your decision. Life presents many opportunities; just have to reach out and grab them.

Wow I'm offended by that ^, are you serious?

Skyline, don't do it, it's not worth it. I'm currently going through Anxiety and I've been enduring it for 3 months so far. It's been hell but I'm trying. I also do not want to take pills. PM Me if you want and we can talk about this, or anything for that matter. You're a respected member man, if you want to talk PM me.

Edit: Sky, try working out, you'll forget about your problems while you're lifting weights or running.

 

[malakadang]

I think you suffer from 'Major Depressive Disorder.'

Man, everyone has the ups and downs in life, you have obviously had an extraordinary rough patch. Whatever you do though do not ever take your life.

I'm sure there are many people who would be able to do this, however if you need to talk to anyone feel free to add my msn: [email protected]

You are obviously going through an enormous amount in your life and talking to someone is a great thing to do.

 

[Deacon Frost]

It seems like you have placed no value within yourself, yet every issue you speak of involves matters with other people. Everyone can tell you that you should be happy, that life is a blessing, that everything happens for a reason, but all of the bullshit doesn't help. You know it, I know it, they don't know it...

A solid truth is that YOU need to find a reason to live. You can't expect to find something interesting if you have no reason to be involved in it. You can go to work every day of your life, but if you aren't paid... you most likely won't wish to continue working. An incentive is something that keeps us going.

A lot of people choose religion, an 'ultimate goal' or something of that sort. Assorted individuals choose enjoyment, or 'to see where it goes'. But almost everyone that lives for a good period of time has their own personal reasons for doing so.

Take some time to find your reason. Don't make it about someone else, because if they let you down then everything goes down the drain and you have to start over. Make it about you, and what you enjoy.

All of the bad things that happen in your life, they suck. It's not going to get better, it's probably just going to keep sucking. But if you can find a reason to embrace the suck, then maybe you'll see past this illusion you have that the best decision is to end your life.

In the end, everything dies. Why hasten the inevitable?

BTW, have you tried delving into nihilism? I think it may help your depression. Google it

 

[The Don Kiluminati]

The answer is in what you wrote mate. Let me quote -

I seemed to move on and a few years later i had met a beautiful girl, which i never would have thought was going to happen after the way i felt after coming merely seconds away from suicide

This is proof that things can get ALOT better if you just don't give up. Life has so much to offer, there will definitely come a time where you would feel like you have real purpose. There's much to experience and discover, you will never regret it if you just keep trying mate.

“If depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about the nature of the beast: You may escape without a mauling.”
Dr. R. W. Shepherd quotes

 

[brayden123]

boddy ， take care of yourself. u can adding my msn if u want talking 　．　my msn :[email protected]

 

[shawnwill1210]

... if this dude is serious flag the message so Sythe can get his IP and call the cops.

 

[Kabal]

Not sure if you remember me, but back in 2007 I used to talk to you a fair bit (you're actually the first vouch in my vouch thread). I remember I even added you to my private msn because I enjoyed talking to you so much.

Don't let the compounding of what seems to be an never ending string of bad events beat you down man. You're a great guy and though it might seem like it now, things WILL pick up and you will meet someone and get happier

 

[Skyline GTR]

Wow I'm offended by that ^, are you serious?

Skyline, don't do it, it's not worth it. I'm currently going through Anxiety and I've been enduring it for 3 months so far. It's been hell but I'm trying. I also do not want to take pills. PM Me if you want and we can talk about this, or anything for that matter. You're a respected member man, if you want to talk PM me.

Edit: Sky, try working out, you'll forget about your problems while you're lifting weights or running.

Hey man, i am still struggling to find anything worth living for still. I just think of myself as weak if i began a course of pills. Thank you for the help

I think you suffer from 'Major Depressive Disorder.'

Man, everyone has the ups and downs in life, you have obviously had an extraordinary rough patch. Whatever you do though do not ever take your life.

I'm sure there are many people who would be able to do this, however if you need to talk to anyone feel free to add my msn: [email protected]

You are obviously going through an enormous amount in your life and talking to someone is a great thing to do.

I have suffered depression for sometime now and i still find it really hard when something goes wrong in my life. It's just like intensifying a problem because of the thought pattern i have, which i cannot avoid it just goes over and over. Thank you for your help in this time

It seems like you have placed no value within yourself, yet every issue you speak of involves matters with other people. Everyone can tell you that you should be happy, that life is a blessing, that everything happens for a reason, but all of the bullshit doesn't help. You know it, I know it, they don't know it...

A solid truth is that YOU need to find a reason to live. You can't expect to find something interesting if you have no reason to be involved in it. You can go to work every day of your life, but if you aren't paid... you most likely won't wish to continue working. An incentive is something that keeps us going.

A lot of people choose religion, an 'ultimate goal' or something of that sort. Assorted individuals choose enjoyment, or 'to see where it goes'. But almost everyone that lives for a good period of time has their own personal reasons for doing so.

Take some time to find your reason. Don't make it about someone else, because if they let you down then everything goes down the drain and you have to start over. Make it about you, and what you enjoy.

All of the bad things that happen in your life, they suck. It's not going to get better, it's probably just going to keep sucking. But if you can find a reason to embrace the suck, then maybe you'll see past this illusion you have that the best decision is to end your life.

In the end, everything dies. Why hasten the inevitable?

BTW, have you tried delving into nihilism? I think it may help your depression. Google it

I think you have hit the nail on the head, i have no value within myself and if i decide to continue i need to work on it. This is the reason i place so much of my happiness on other people and when something goes wrong i have no happiness of my own to fall back on.

Something worth living for me is really hard to find, i do go to the gym which keeps me entertained for a few hours a week. I no longer have any friends to talk to and i really don't know anyways to find any when i work most days of the week. Even when i do join a group or something they just end up people i see at the group but never do anything outside of it. Thankyou

Not sure if you remember me, but back in 2007 I used to talk to you a fair bit (you're actually the first vouch in my vouch thread). I remember I even added you to my private msn because I enjoyed talking to you so much.

Don't let the compounding of what seems to be an never ending string of bad events beat you down man. You're a great guy and though it might seem like it now, things WILL pick up and you will meet someone and get happier

I remember you from that trade, was one to never forget you are a great guy to! I really wish other people around my area thought that. I am just a loner which has a lot friends on facebook which give people the false impression that am popular except in reality i am most of the time by myself. When i do find a partner they become a big part of my happiness and this is why i end up becoming more depressed if we end up breaking up

 

[AnthonyL1991]

Nice to see you are still here Skyline I'm happy we got to talk via PM and I'm always here. Stay strong my friend!

 

[Deacon Frost]

I think you have hit the nail on the head, i have no value within myself and if i decide to continue i need to work on it. This is the reason i place so much of my happiness on other people and when something goes wrong i have no happiness of my own to fall back on.

Something worth living for me is really hard to find, i do go to the gym which keeps me entertained for a few hours a week. I no longer have any friends to talk to and i really don't know anyways to find any when i work most days of the week. Even when i do join a group or something they just end up people i see at the group but never do anything outside of it. Thankyou

What are you passionate about? What makes you want to get involved? What gets your juices flowing?

For me it's programming. Sure, I don't have to live for that. But doing it makes me feel pretty good, and allows me to think a little better and find other things I enjoy.

Look for what you like, go with that and see where it leads you. You already feel you have nothing to lose, so why not at least try? Maybe you'll gain a lot... the worse thing that can happen is you come back to where you are now.

 

[JstarD]

Whatever it is, it'll soon pass.
Go do a favourite pastime or hobby, something that makes you feel good
I don't think any further input from myself will be of value due to people saying what I would say anyways.
Just remember: be positive.