Can you get any better than this???

[BetterDays]

Just waking up in the morning in the same spot

Last night I got chased by the same cop

But it’s all good cuz they couldn’t catch me

They said they got some questions that they wanna ask me

I don’t believe them so I dashed to the train tracks

Hopped the fence and I’m back on the same track

Meet up with some hoes just to see what’s happening

It was at the spot waiting on the captain

Now that I’m here the party’s fool of fame

Grabbed the mic and I stay and get away

Cuz this hoes love the way I spit game to ‘em

Always be asking why I don’t give my last name to ‘em

But ain’t tripping, I ain’t looking for a wife

Just quick nut different from last night

That’s right, that’s the way of the fast life

Find a f**k ama flee and with my 9 tight

Cuz where I stay at they flipped the script real quick

One minute they’re cool, next minute sat trip

And if you don’t got them things you’ll get whipped

Better caught the hummer back and load the whole clip.​

 

[†Tysonâ€Â]

LMFAO, yeah you can get a lot better than that.

Dude that sucked hardcore.

Your rhymes are pathetic, "me" does not rhyme with "me". "Tracks" does not rhyme with "track". Theres a ton of other words in there that don't rhyme either; captain, fame, whipped etc etc. They don't rhyme with anything in that whole umm.. bunch of words is the only thing i can call that. Go back to preschool.

 

[chr1$]

Shit, nerdy ass bitches on sythe just flappin
Trade on here and ya account gets to jackin
Little 12 year olds tryin to post up
And you know when I cock my nine your gonna get fucked.
Shit thats the way it is
Bustin up these niggaz
to get the biz
Throwin out dimes
causin dope crimes
So popular My ass was front page in the new york times
But shit they dont pay me to kill little kids
But they do pay me to kick my rhymes
on dis mic I like to tear
little kids up holdlin a teddy bear.


Sounds shitty typing it in but I'd just rather flow a freestyle to an instru.

 

[MatthewGor123]

¢µ®1$ - your signature is retarded. Good grammar? Another 1% are actually pretty cool and DOESN'T suck? Even my 8-year old brother knows the grammatical error in that clause.

Anyways, yeah - this pretty much sucks. Apart from what Tyson already said, there are tons of spelling errors; "The party's fool of fame" ROFL. Your flow sucks in the beginning AND in the end. How can you say "I don't believe them so I dashed to the train tracks" -- this means that IN THE PRESENT, you don't believe them, but yet IN THE PAST you dashed to the train tracks. Re-read your raps before posting them, especially if you're going to get arrogant about them. I *know* my attempts are fail, but this is just abysmal.

 

[Swan]

Definitely, especially considering even I could compose better lyrics. I could probably even compose better RAP lyrics, and I personally hate the genre.

 

[deadzone]

Shit, nerdy ass bitches on sythe just flappin
Trade on here and ya account gets to jackin
Little 12 year olds tryin to post up
And you know when I cock my nine your gonna get fucked.
Shit thats the way it is
Bustin up these niggaz
to get the biz
Throwin out dimes
causin dope crimes
So popular My ass was front page in the new york times
But shit they dont pay me to kill little kids
But they do pay me to kick my rhymes
on dis mic I like to tear
little kids up holdlin a teddy bear.


Sounds shitty typing it in but I'd just rather flow a freestyle to an instru.

You talk a lot of shit thats no lie
you run at the mouth but your not that fly
E-g's like you trying to act real cool
but you ain't got nothin your just a fool
When I grab my nine all the ladies flock
fool I'm not talkin about a gun I'm talkin bout my cock
bust up those niggaz see if we care
you won't be nothing just another worthless spare
you must be real cool bangin on sythe
but the one thing your missin is your own damn life
so keep wasting your time postin this lame ass spit
and I'll keep putting you down with the same ole shit

-------------
To the original post it started out like it might be able to be something with a bit of work. but then it turned into the same old rap bullshit about hoes etc. which is lame and turned into a failure.

 

[chr1$]

¢µ®1$ - your signature is retarded. Good grammar? Another 1% are actually pretty cool and DOESN'T suck? Even my 8-year old brother knows the grammatical error in that clause.

Anyways, yeah - this pretty much sucks. Apart from what Tyson already said, there are tons of spelling errors; "The party's fool of fame" ROFL. Your flow sucks in the beginning AND in the end. How can you say "I don't believe them so I dashed to the train tracks" -- this means that IN THE PRESENT, you don't believe them, but yet IN THE PAST you dashed to the train tracks. Re-read your raps before posting them, especially if you're going to get arrogant about them. I *know* my attempts are fail, but this is just abysmal.

read your messages webster.

 

[Inventor]

You sound like lil wayne. Learn how to rhyme fool.

Listen to some Tupac, Biggie, Tribe called quest, common, Big l,Rakim, Run DMC, etc.

 

[chr1$]

You sound like lil wayne. Learn how to rhyme fool.

Listen to some Tupac, Biggie, Tribe called quest, common, Big l,Rakim, Run DMC, etc.

Beastie boys.

 

[Repentless]

You have never fled from an officer of the law in your life. Cease your shenanigans.

Beastie boys.

Word.

 

[cartmanez]

Just waking up in the morning in the same spot

​

You got that from ice Cube-Today Was a Good Day you gotta be original :noworry:

 

[xx mdv xx]

No offense, but I didn't find that very well. You should write songs about things that actually happen in your life rather than the things you wish your life was like. Everyone on Sythe knows you're the cool guy who runs around getting chased by cops and picking up hookers. *sarcasm*

 

[Ally]

boooo..............

 

[Ally]

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[Ally]

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[Ally]

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[Ally]

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[Ally]

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[Ally]

boooo....................