Idiots guide on how to get a girlfriend

[Uber l33t]

I am, the, Hitch.​

If you are a nerd and you have no friends, an enemy to others, the girl thinks you're ugly, you have mental issues, you are a midget, or anything un-attractive, sorry, you're shit out of luck.

Step 1
Get to be "friends" with her. If you want her to like you, heres the deal. Girls like pussys! If you are some manly guy who says "aw I don't cry when people die, sorry" then fuck you. I know most of us are like that, but lord, you cannot say that to a girl! You have to say "yeah I would bawl my eyes out if someone died". Also, say you want to save lives. (Firefighter, negotiator, policeman, etc.)

Girls like someone who are "sweet".

Step 2
Ask her if you want to play 20 questions. This is better to do on the computer therefore you won't embarass yourself. After you get into the game, start asking them who they like, if they think you're cute. NEVER CALL A GIRL HOT! BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, PRETTY, NOT HOTT! Hot is just stupid. Say, if they have no boobs or ass, tell them that it doesn't matter!

Step 3
Take her out to the movies. Watch a scary movie. Put your arm around he if she feels uncomfortable or scared. Most of the time, if she likes you, she will act "extra" scared just so you pull the move.

Step 4
After a good day, ask her out in person! Woot!





Good luck


If you are having issues, IM me on either MSN or AIM.

AIM - justinz 0wn4g3
MSN - [email protected]

 

[†Tysonâ€Â]

Lol another useless guide, wow! The only people who probably need this guide is the ones that you said are out of luck . Seriously, who needs someone to teach them how to get a chick?

 

[I 134/2/24G3 I]

true that, it aint that hard to get a girlfriend. but where the guide says "NEVER CALL A GIRL HOT! BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, PRETTY, NOT HOTT!" and "Girls like pussys! If you are some manly guy who says "aw I don't cry when people die, sorry" then fuck you. I know most of us are like that, but lord, you cannot say that to a girl! You have to say "yeah I would bawl my eyes out if someone died"", them bits are true, girls like guys who show emotion and are somewhat moved by things, the hard act is nuthing compared to what being soft gets you, dnt b completely soft tho, if u a softy to the girl and act normal around others the girl will get the feeling your comfy with her, which is good =]

 

[venom]

Honestly, nobody want's guide's on how to pick up chicks, they can use common sense... give it a rest already.

 

[Jesse]

Of all the guides, this is the stupidest. No offense to any of you Runescape players, but I SERIOUSLY doubt a lot of you even have KISSED a girl, let alone give advice.. That "Hitch" part made me lol. Oh and you're kind of a dummy. "Take her out to the movies" THEN "Ask her out". More lol's for me

 

[TrIggA]

.... what the hell are you on about?
Do you even have a girlfriend?

This guide is stupid.... and tbth - is so fucking vague - a fucking virgin is gonna get lost at part 2!

 

[†Tysonâ€Â]

Of all the guides, this is the stupidest. No offense to any of you Runescape players, but I SERIOUSLY doubt a lot of you even have KISSED a girl, let alone give advice.. That "Hitch" part made me lol. Oh and you're kind of a dummy. "Take her out to the movies" THEN "Ask her out". More lol's for me

Your a fag. You stereotype people who use this site, you'd be surprised at the type of people who actually use this site. 90% Of them are probably cooler than you so i think your a dick when you said this:

I SERIOUSLY doubt a lot of you even have KISSED a girl, let alone give advice.. QUOTE]

Also you usually get to know a chick before you ask her out. Lots of people don't go 'damn, this chick isn't my gf, i better ask her out because otherwise it means i won't be able to go to the movies with her!!!'. You laughing at those who get to know chicks before they go out with them just shows how inexperienced you are.

 

[Uber l33t]

Lmfao. Okay I will stop before you guys freak. :nuts:

 

[MX3101B]

Lmfao. Okay I will stop before you guys freak. :nuts:

Wheather it's useless or not? It's still a guide right?

Well done on spending ALOT >_< of time on this.

~MX

 

[david123]

well it sort of also depends what girl you like lol. Some girls are wild and some girls are shy, it depends, you had the overall idea. Good job =]

 

[Rsismyname]

Your a fag. You stereotype people who use this site, you'd be surprised at the type of people who actually use this site. 90% Of them are probably cooler than you so i think your a dick when you said this:

I SERIOUSLY doubt a lot of you even have KISSED a girl, let alone give advice.. QUOTE]

Also you usually get to know a chick before you ask her out. Lots of people don't go 'damn, this chick isn't my gf, i better ask her out because otherwise it means i won't be able to go to the movies with her!!!'. You laughing at those who get to know chicks before they go out with them just shows how inexperienced you are.

Jesse kisses ass on here all the time.. so yeah.. but I wouldn't say his a fag (maybe just a little)

And this guide is only going to attract flame.

 

[OldFinn]

How horribly cheesy.

Taking someone to a scary film and 'putting your arm around her is the epitome shameful, cheesy, pathetic and overused nonsense.

 

[jamzpkzsythe]

you sound like a homo.

 

[l33er th4n l33t]

Wow that was a waste of space, all girls like guys for different things.... btw i'm not a dork or a nerd, I bmx and freestyle ski so I have had a gf rofl...

 

[JumpedYou]

Lets lay off the insults.
He is just trying to write a funny and information guides.

Listen, if you want to make a guide, try and research something.
Or think of something you know about computers.
A way to make them fast, a way to edit them, a way to make a screen server.

Or even a way to make a signature.


Anyways, good luck in the future

~Jumped

 

[Brandeis]

/Fail.

 

[Cool Dog]

All I can is, I lol'd.

 

[Ballin Boi]

Phail?

People have commonsence... waste of space.

 

[Jesse]

Your a fag. You stereotype people who use this site, you'd be surprised at the type of people who actually use this site. 90% Of them are probably cooler than you so i think your a dick when you said this:

I SERIOUSLY doubt a lot of you even have KISSED a girl, let alone give advice.. QUOTE]

Also you usually get to know a chick before you ask her out. Lots of people don't go 'damn, this chick isn't my gf, i better ask her out because otherwise it means i won't be able to go to the movies with her!!!'. You laughing at those who get to know chicks before they go out with them just shows how inexperienced you are.

Oh, I am terribly sorry sir. Of course you are cooler than me, especially while you spend all day on this site posting 15 times a day. What are you even saying? When you ask her out to the movies, YOU ARE GOING OUT.. going out doesn't always mean you're boyfriend and girlfriend mr. tyson.

 

[Clank]

Jesse: You post around 7 posts a day, which is not very far from 15, infact you probably post more considering posts in the spam forum don't count.