Good for a first. But, there is too much negative space. The negative space takes away from the focal point. Another thing that caught my eye is the glow around the text. It looks a bit pixelled to the left, and it definitely takes away from the focal point. I'd say that if your first line of text is positioned how it is, the second line should have the same effect. It goes like this, your first line has a slope effect, while the other one is flat and plain. It really isn't bad at all for a first, but it just needs improvement. Maybe you should try some different styles as well such as stock photos or renders. There are hundreds of free tutorials online if you need help, and people here I'm sure would be glad to use constructive criticism. Keep it up, man!