Feeling unfulfilled and stagnant

Hey folks. So, a little about me. I'm 23, turning 24 in a couple months. I'm going into my fourth and final year at university for Computer Science. I did two other years of undergrad in different programs I didn't like. I also did an extra year at highschool because I decided to go into computer stuff and needed math and science classes. So, you could say I'm a little behind.

Generally speaking I'm good at a lot of things, but not great at anything. You could say I'm more or less an intermediate at things like music, visual arts, writing, you name it, but not advanced with anything. I can't think of a single thing I really excel at. Now here comes the problem.

Every time I see someone successful and/or someone gaining recognition for their work, I think "why can't I do that?". My girlfriend dragged me to a Demi Lovato concert the other night and everyone around me felt so electrified and entranced by her performance. I kept thinking "why don't I produce more music?". Same thing a couple nights before at a jazz festival I went to. I used to play bass in highschool, so I payed close attention to the bassists. They were all phenomenal. Then I saw someone I went to highschool with performing at the festival. He was really good so I was into the music, but I kept thinking about what would have happened if I stuck with it and I spent more time on it.

Because of my "jack of all trades and a master of none" sort of situation, I feel especially unfulfilled. I feel like I haven't been able to create anything that people can enjoy. I feel like I dabble in everything but I lose interest after a while then return to it later. I go through phases, I guess. It feels like everyone is better than me at everything and I'm just spreading myself thin trying to be talented. This cycle leads to me feeling stagnant, like I'm not doing anything. It also makes me feel like my light gaming habit (0-3 hours a day) is a total waste of time.

I do keep busy, though. I have 3 jobs. I do part time management at a theatre, I am a camp councillor for the summer, and I do pro-bono consultation for a web development company to gain some industry experience before I graduate. I go to the gym, I eat as well as I can, and I get plenty of sleep. So it's not that I'm lazy or not driven. I don't know what it is.

What I'd like to get out of this lengthy post is just some opinions on next steps to feeling happier or more fulfilled. Even to just talk with someone who feels the same would be a big help.

Thank you for reading, sorry about the length.

 

I understand how you feel man. I am a full time student working 45+ hours a week. I used to feel like this all of the time. It is hard when you're taking each day as it comes. And when each day comes, it almost feels wasted away fulfilling the needs of society rather than yourself. You're expected to have employment to sustain yourself, and work towards a degree that does not necessarily define your true qualifications. However, one thing you need to realize is that at such a young age, you're still a work in progress. You're not supposed to know what you're going to do in life. You're not supposed to know your true purpose. That is for you to figure out from your own experiences.

I used to be the same way in the fact that I would find a hobby, get to an intermediate level, and find myself per-say "bored" of the hobby and I would stop. There are many things that I'm sure you're very good at, however you have to find something that you stick to and enjoy. Me personally is the gym. I used to essentially go there to be like everybody else because that is what I expected would provide me with a healthy lifestyle. I didn't know how much I actually enjoyed it until I stuck with it for a few months straight. Now I'm going everyday and am a physique competitor. I'm sorry to use myself as an example, but the point I'm trying to make is that you're going to be excellent at something you don't even know you're excellent at yet.

I would recommend trying to find yourself when you have down time or time alone. I would recommend trying new things any opportunity that you get. Read as much as you can. Do research in your own time to provide you with knowledge you may not have accumulated whilst going to school. And when you find something, reach out to people who have some experience in whatever it is that you're interested in, and surround yourself with them. Make new friends but keep the old ones.

I really hope I could have provided at least some insight as to what could potentially help. Everything will work out, but you will need to set goals and go for them each opportunity you have.

 

You're in your last year of a hard major. You should feel extremely accomplished with what you are going to achieve. That itself should make you feel good about yourself. You don't have to master anything. Being a jack of all trades, master of none is perfectly fine. You don't have to force yourself to master something just because others have mastered certain fields. Keep getting your feet wet in different hobbies and don't be afraid to change hobbies when you lose interest. Your happiness is the only thing that matters and you have accomplished a lot being a computer scientist. After a while, through your work and studies, you will have mastered computer science anyways (or come close to it) so look forward to that as well.

 

You sound very similar to me. I am turning 25 in less than a month, I stayed an extra year in high school, I switched out of commerce as an undergrad to computer science which I am currently almost done too.

It sounds like you want other people to appreciate something that you can offer to them and in this case it sounds like you are being influenced by your surroundings. Do you really want to produce music for people? Or did this just spark because you went to these concerts (I don't know if music is really your passion)?

Years ago I would play basketball 5 or 6 hours a day because I wanted to play on the university team, but then I realized I wanted to play on the team for the wrong reason - I wanted to be recognized and cheered for but what is the point if you don't even enjoy what you are being cheered for?

So I pretty much quit basketball and got into programming and at that point I was in computer science already but I didn't really take it seriously. But then I realized it was actually kind of cool so I spent a summer learning how to make iOS apps and by the end of the summer I had released a bus app for my city. A few months later it got recognized and I was in the school paper and then after that I was in some french paper and then after that I was in the main city newspaper. Then I created a gossip app for my school (which the school did not appreciate lol) and got to like 600 users in a week with there only being around 2000 students living on campus. After that everyone knew me as the guy who makes apps. That same year I got offered a contract from the school for an app so that was kind of cool to (to be recognized as competent enough to get paid by the school for my talent) and since I get messages from leaders of the school clubs all the time asking me to develop for them and also I got asked to coffee from a startup CEO in my city.

All that is to say that at first I wasn't happy trying to be recognized for something that I wasn't passionate about to begin with. Once I realized I should stop trying to please other people with stuff I don't care about things turned around for me.

I know program but I don't know if it is your passion. If it is i'm sure you know that you can do so much with it. If you want to feel fulfilled why not offer to develop for that camp? Usually camps have really bad websites.

 

I recommend not comparing yourself to other people. Its the best way to begin feeling depressed. If you do have to compare yourself to others then compare yourself to those who are not doing so well aswell. I'm similar to you a jack of all trades person but holding 3 jobs while studying comp science is very impressive.

My brother goes to school full time but keeps one of his hobbies as producing music. He's been doing it for 6 years and I'm helping him turn it into a business. Its a low cost business but an interesting hobby aswell. He currently spends 2 hours a day producing music.

 

I'm in somewhat of a similar situation as you, I'll be graduating from university this year and I also went through an undergrad program that I didn't like and ended up switching to a different one which put my graduation plans a little behind where I wanted them to be. I've also been going through a phase where I've been trying different things and trying to figure out what I really enjoy and want to do with my life as opposed to chasing after something simply because of the monetary aspect.

I think this is one of your main problems. You shouldn't just want to create something that other people will enjoy, you first need to look at creating things that you enjoy. This is very key because it's not only better for yourself in terms of happiness and feeling satisfied in your life but people also like to follow other people and their creations when they know that person is passionate about/love whatever it is they're creating. This is what inspires people and as a result it will often generate a following.

If you're not sure what it is you truly love doing/creating, surround yourself with creative people that have different interests/hobbies as other people have suggested in this thread. See how different kinds of creative people operate/think and how they apply it to whatever it is they love doing. In my own experience, when I see creativity being used by others I surround myself with it generally makes me feel more positive and also helps me reflect on certain things when I see how someone else did something and then I think how I would've done it. It makes you think more and more often when you surround yourself with creative people which I think is very important as opposed to people that aren't/are dull which will most likely affect you negatively.

If you're at a college right now there's tons of clubs that cover many different things you could maybe look into or network with some of your friends/girlfriend to see if they know anything you can try. This could help give you a better idea of the kind of inspiration it sounds like you may need. Even certain things you think you may not be interested in it never hurts to give it a shot.

For example, I'm in advertising and plan on working in that field when I'm out of school but I'm not dead set on doing that for the rest of my life because I'm not yet sure if there's something else out there I'd love doing more. Recently, I've started working on some stuff with one of my friends that is a film major that shoots/directs his own short films/edits them and writes his own scripts. I've been having him show me the ropes since I was curious and I love it so far. Advertising is all about creativity but so is this sort of stuff (film, writing) and it's interesting to see creativity at work from different angles.