Kylie/Okkk's story/apology/thank you/into. lol :D

My story. Gohan has very probably saved my life and for that I owe him everything. Just by doing one simple thing, letting me talk and just type the hell outta my keyboard, I felt like someone was actually ready to listen. Gohan, your my superhero. Heres just a copy and paste of my story (I dont feel like retyping it as I can just copy+paste...btw this was an email :\)

I joined Sythe to earn some respect. I didnt think it was important to include this in any of my threads/posts, but actually my join date SHOULD have been September 2009. I have been looking at Sythe from a distance (ya know..unregistered) just as I do with all my other forums. It seemed like a very nice community and I finally decided to register. I normally just look around and kinda like..I dunno...study people and stuff so that when I join, Im not a huge newfag. I wouldve joined in Sept of 2010, but I saw a few bans going on and I wanted to wait till the drama died down. I don't ever remember really seeing you, though its been months, and besides that, I never really paid attention to any names except a few choice ones that seemed the be the most popular. This way when someone said something like: You gonza get owned by (we'll use Karl) Karl. Then I wouldnt be like: wtf is a Karl? Anyways, I joined to earn respect and I think I had a small bit for a while and I lost it. In real life I have no respect. At all. No one cares as long as I give them something. In the past 7 days alone, I have missed my grandmothers funeral, my baby cousins first steps, and the date of my life to help out several friends. Tonight when I finally broke down I called them up. Apparently, something else is just to important, and my thoughts will go away when I "get over my PMS." So honestly, the whole Spam thing just kinda broke me...I know it was just kids trying to stick up for you and I think its great that your that...well...respected! Thats how I wish it was for me. My whole "goal" thread was pretty much already decided. As a guest, I lurked around in the Personal forum for hours on end, as I do now. I just generally like helping people, and what I did today only hurt people..including myself. So that is a very long and detailed thing of why I am so upset and what Sythe had to do with it. :\

Some of that includes bits of my suicidal thoughts. Yeah. I had them. Gunna call me emo? Go the fuck ahead dumb asses. :] Jking. Kinda But that is really what I want and how I feel and whats been happening. Also, here are the words Gohan said that saved my life...

I respect you, Kylie

All I want is respect, and, like I said, I lost all of it. Im sorry for offending any of Gohans friends with what I said, but he has for some reason decided to forgive me. BTW Karl, that really is true. For a few days you were my favorite staff member..you never really stopped I just got new favorites. But since you were mentioned in my little story...thought Id mention it again.

As you guys can tell, respect is everything to me. We always want most what we cant have. So as Gohan has forgiven me...Im asking you guys too. I KNOW I said I was quitting twice now, but you guys really dont know how hard it is for me in life right now. But I just want everyone to know Im sorry and that if your EVER going through suicidal thoughts..PLEASE...talk to me..I dont want you making the mistake I almost made not even an hour ago.

As this is in the Spam Forum, and I have made some bad ass mean comments, Im expecting some flame:
Vader/troll/make me a sammich, etc etc etc...

Flame is welcome as I really deserve it I guess. But please only flame about the Gohan situation...I dont want anyone saying I need to quit crying about my life. It sucks. Ass. Giant white ass with a tramp stamp on the top. And little semen sprinkles.

Unfortunately, there is no tl;dr except this: Sorry

Also, Id really like to thank Giddy for attempting to help. I was in such a bad mood I didnt even say "no." :\ But he tried to be helpful and was nice to me even when I was being a bitch to Gohan. Thanks brossive !
So..start posting I guess..

 

hope u have a good new start

 

Thanks :] And sorry for double post...XD Ima use my little excuse...

Gohan said I could thoughhhh...):!!!!

 

Welcome back

 

Thanks Classic. 0.0 Your one person I didnt expect that from.

 

Welcome back.

I'm just going to add some constructive criticism though, I hope you take it well and don't flame me like others do.

Some people may not like you because you sometimes act like a know it all. You're 15 years old, "have had 30+ serious relationships" (quoting you), and think you know everything about love, so you write guides on common sense stuff about relationships. It just doesn't make you look too popular in my eyes.

Plus when you first came here, you tried to get guys to apply to do a Twilight roll-play...

But good luck on your new start.

 

lol yes the Twilight thing is actually still going on. We're stil lworking on it. 0.0 thats just how I role. And a know it all on love and shit..I dont try to be. Ive just had some really good and really bad shit happen with some stuff..lol. And some of that "common sense stuff" really isnt common sense to ALOT of guys. And thanks for the comment. I know Im kinda bitchy. Arent all girls/guys?

Oh, Ps: I want to be an actress and a director when I grow up. Twilight is my all time most hated movie ever so I figured: lets make a gay ass parody. Actually its alot of fun. :]