Women Problems

Don't know why I'm posting this here but I'm in a mental rut with these matters.

I'm in my first year of college now overseas. I came from a Jewish private school, where I did have some sexual encounters with girls, but not very many, and the environment was very socially limiting. There was for instance no prom, and touching girls in school was forbidden. I think this may have fucked me in a way.

I think I'm a pretty well off guy as far as my level of attraction to the opposite sex. I'm definitely on the short side, but believe that I am fairly good looking and fit physically. I can be very engaging in conversation when I am in the mood for it, and can talk about most topics. I am complimented often enough, and frequently see women eying me down in the way they sometimes do to show interest, although that could be my own ego.

So I don't understand my situation with women. I am definitely interested in them physically, but don't think I have that sex sex sex mindset, which women seem to expect in this college world I am in now? And I want it, but don't know how to get it, and downplay it very much. I have a lot to offer I believe, and sometimes I get close with women who I think would want to share something with me, but I don't know how to close or initiate the next level? I often get the sense that I am not understood, as in women don't know what I want from them. I can be very confusing and prefer not to show my emotions externally.

I think I may come across as intimidating, and other guys tell me I seem like I'd have game and all of that jazz, but this intimidating factor makes all of the action come down to me and only unattractive girls will ever approach me. A lot of this intimidation comes from my lack of self confidence which is perceived as arrogance somehow. I sporadically have self confidence and "game", but still don't know how to utilize these things. I over think like crazy and am constantly assessing the internal processes of others around me, and I am very often correct, but this makes me into a more paranoid being as well.

I would be fine waiting for the special and right girl in the end. But I don't even know if I'll ever find this with my closed attitude. I don't really know what to do or what I want. These are "rich people problems" as far as I'm concerned and this is a rather silly rant, but any further questions to seek understanding and advise that this community could give would be much appreciated.

 

do u have a gmail? pm me and i can help you out maybe

 

From what I read here, you are seeking something in women that they is too big for them to handle. Most college girls are usually look for a good time and nothing too long term.

You seem you want to settle down and find Mrs. Right on the first try; life isn't like that man. Of course there are exceptions, but are you one? If so, how do you know?

In my opinion, you just seem lost on what you want in life. My suggestion is that personal relationships are on the back burner compared to education. Women (Or Men/partner in relationships) can be bad influences sometimes (I know from experience, it costs a lot of heartache, time, money and etc). If you want to find the right girl, you got to stop having this "expectation" of your perfect world/girl, rarely does that ever happen and expectations change over time so just keep a social circle and gradually grow it. Have relationships only if you are "truly" ready because emotional baggage is the worse thing to carry.

 

Dorian that is helpful and I agree with most points.

 

It seems like youre not sure what you want. If youre really trying to find a girl thats wife material then its going to be rare and hard. try not to "find" this girl and just go with the flow. enjoy life as it is and enjoy college. I know how you feel because i often think of myself as more mature than my peers because of a mindset i have that most people dont ( it may seem egoistic but thats just the truth). dont try to please everyone, when youre like that people will gravitate towards you. but try to just enjoy your life, test out a couple things with different girls and see what you like. try not to get TOO emotionally attached doing this.

 

It's odd, I kind of just expect fate to eventually bring that right girl to me. But it definitely adds a pressure onto women around me sometimes - the girl I was most serious with in my life told me that she couldn't take how I pressured her and she couldn't live up to my expectations.

On a partially unrelated point, I find it difficult to partake in normal social interactions with kids my age, as I often come out of them feeling less satisfied than I would have had I stayed with my own company.

 

Wow, I feel like I can relate to you so much. For lack of better words, and because I just saw 40 year old virgin, you are "putting pussy on a pedestal". It's honestly not that big of an issue. Most girls will talk to you unless they are complete assholes, also in times you will have to approach them instead of expecting them to come to you. Don't take things so seriously, get comfortable, relax a little and just date girls until you find what you like. I don't know, I'm not the best on topics like these but that's my 2 cents.

 

Listen to this guy. It took me a long time to figure out this... ^