Celestial Bow
Apprentice
Don't know why I'm posting this here but I'm in a mental rut with these matters.
I'm in my first year of college now overseas. I came from a Jewish private school, where I did have some sexual encounters with girls, but not very many, and the environment was very socially limiting. There was for instance no prom, and touching girls in school was forbidden. I think this may have fucked me in a way.
I think I'm a pretty well off guy as far as my level of attraction to the opposite sex. I'm definitely on the short side, but believe that I am fairly good looking and fit physically. I can be very engaging in conversation when I am in the mood for it, and can talk about most topics. I am complimented often enough, and frequently see women eying me down in the way they sometimes do to show interest, although that could be my own ego.
So I don't understand my situation with women. I am definitely interested in them physically, but don't think I have that sex sex sex mindset, which women seem to expect in this college world I am in now? And I want it, but don't know how to get it, and downplay it very much. I have a lot to offer I believe, and sometimes I get close with women who I think would want to share something with me, but I don't know how to close or initiate the next level? I often get the sense that I am not understood, as in women don't know what I want from them. I can be very confusing and prefer not to show my emotions externally.
I think I may come across as intimidating, and other guys tell me I seem like I'd have game and all of that jazz, but this intimidating factor makes all of the action come down to me and only unattractive girls will ever approach me. A lot of this intimidation comes from my lack of self confidence which is perceived as arrogance somehow. I sporadically have self confidence and "game", but still don't know how to utilize these things. I over think like crazy and am constantly assessing the internal processes of others around me, and I am very often correct, but this makes me into a more paranoid being as well.
I would be fine waiting for the special and right girl in the end. But I don't even know if I'll ever find this with my closed attitude. I don't really know what to do or what I want. These are "rich people problems" as far as I'm concerned and this is a rather silly rant, but any further questions to seek understanding and advise that this community could give would be much appreciated.
I'm in my first year of college now overseas. I came from a Jewish private school, where I did have some sexual encounters with girls, but not very many, and the environment was very socially limiting. There was for instance no prom, and touching girls in school was forbidden. I think this may have fucked me in a way.
I think I'm a pretty well off guy as far as my level of attraction to the opposite sex. I'm definitely on the short side, but believe that I am fairly good looking and fit physically. I can be very engaging in conversation when I am in the mood for it, and can talk about most topics. I am complimented often enough, and frequently see women eying me down in the way they sometimes do to show interest, although that could be my own ego.
So I don't understand my situation with women. I am definitely interested in them physically, but don't think I have that sex sex sex mindset, which women seem to expect in this college world I am in now? And I want it, but don't know how to get it, and downplay it very much. I have a lot to offer I believe, and sometimes I get close with women who I think would want to share something with me, but I don't know how to close or initiate the next level? I often get the sense that I am not understood, as in women don't know what I want from them. I can be very confusing and prefer not to show my emotions externally.
I think I may come across as intimidating, and other guys tell me I seem like I'd have game and all of that jazz, but this intimidating factor makes all of the action come down to me and only unattractive girls will ever approach me. A lot of this intimidation comes from my lack of self confidence which is perceived as arrogance somehow. I sporadically have self confidence and "game", but still don't know how to utilize these things. I over think like crazy and am constantly assessing the internal processes of others around me, and I am very often correct, but this makes me into a more paranoid being as well.
I would be fine waiting for the special and right girl in the end. But I don't even know if I'll ever find this with my closed attitude. I don't really know what to do or what I want. These are "rich people problems" as far as I'm concerned and this is a rather silly rant, but any further questions to seek understanding and advise that this community could give would be much appreciated.
