A last letter to the ex?

Hey guys.. I'm 17 years old, and as some of you may know, I recently went through a huge breakup which kind of tore me apart. As of now, I feel almost completely recovered, which is good, but I miss her like hell. Here's the story:

We dated for 6 months. Fell in love, lost our virginity to each other, all of that. About 5 months in, everything went sour. We weren't talking the same, all of that. But we still loved each other.

We decided to break up early August. She was crushed. And that's the beginning of our breakup. We didn't see each other for a week after that. Then we did. I wasn't feeling sad or anything.. I think I was bottling it up.. and it was almost a natural sense of needing to be there for her over my own emotions?

As I said, she was crushed. So I made my best to help her against my own best decision (and that of my friends). Funny thing is.. we went through almost what you would call a honeymoon phase then. We were talking to each other like we had been 4 months earlier! She came over, we actually slept together a couple of times. And.. then everything crashed.
We had a fight. And recovered form that, I suppose. Then another, and recovered. Then another, and didn't. and another, and another, and.. you get the point. This is also when I started to go crazy. I decided that i still wanted to be with her and it hit me HARD. I ended up talking to her every day.. I admitted that repeatedly, and I slipped into a depression.
At the same time, she had decided that she was "done being sad". Decided that she wasn't willing to be there for me when I needed it the most, and instead be a cold bitch whenever I talked to her (her words) because I just didn't get it.

This is where I decided that I had to do what I had feared. I cut off all communication with the girl I loved the most. I quit talking about her, I quit looking on her facebook.. and I told her that we can never talk again.

I entered another phase of depression.

It's been 5 weeks since then and i'm much better off. I'm happy with life, but there's still those things missing. I feel like i'm clinging to something that has to be let out before I can be happy (i'm still having spiked of misery to this date). That's where the letters came in. The first one was written on the day we broke up. It was humble and caring. Before I went crazy. the second one is from (sadly, my birthday), and the day I had to cut off all communication. That was also humble and regretful. The third one I wrote today. It is talking about how much I miss her. How I want her back in my life. How I still feel i'm in love with her. And how this would be the last letter (or form of communication) i will ever send her. I can't be with her because.. I cant be with her. It's too hard.

Anyways, I'm planning on sending these letters to her. Do you guys think this is a horrible idea? My friends seem to.. but i feel like I just.. have to.
Thanks for listening guys.

 

Dear Sypherz, I understand how hard it can be to lose someone you love and care for so deeply. I loved a girl once we had everything and she went to camp and she just changed. My advice to you would be do what deep down in your heart says my friend, Nobody should be telling you if it's a good or bad idea because in the end it's your life and you have to deal with that dissicon. I wish the best for you mate. Sincerly, Haisma

 

You should really only write her a leter if you want to get back together with her, otherwise there is no reason for it.

 

Thankyou so much Hiasma. I really appreciate it.
Also, I' do want to get back together.. but I see no chance of her wanting me back. It's more for.. peace of mind i suppose?

 

There are two ways this could go, possibly. Mind you a woman's scorn can be ruthless so be weary, if she is very upset or metaphorically hates you.

1. You write the letter and it shows that you still care about her, but it still shows you have no intentions of wanting to be with her. She has already moved on, and sees your letter as a sign of weakness and capitalises on that. What I mean by this is making fun of the letter you wrote, her not caring, and ultimately out to hurt you. I believe for your sake this would only crush your feelings more. Granted she could be a sweet geunine woman, but they have feelings too, and when you crush them, they will sometimes hold nothing back. (This scenario is assuming she is still pissed about what happened, and you're writing this letter purely for "peace of mind")

2. You write a letter expressing all the feelings you still have for this woman. Hold nothing back if your intentions are to be with her again, as this will more than likely win her over again. She loves the letter, you two start talking again, and everything that you had intended with the letter(to be with her I assume) will have worked out.

If you do get her back, I recommend the fighting to stop. Hope everything works out well. ^_^

 

Sypherz if you ever need anything bro please message me alright doesn't matter what time of day.

 

Breaking up is hard, and your young too, you need to remember that! You have a lot of life to be lived, and there will be hundreds of more great girls in your path, I understand how it is when you care about someone its hard to let go, but my advice is focus on yourself.

 

I feel for you, break ups can be very hard, the advice I'd give you though is not to write her any letters; listen to your friends.

The relationship sounds bad from what I have read and trust me, you don't want to be in a relationship like that. Carry on with what your doing by cutting off all contact, but don't mail her, you'll only get back together and argue over and over.

 

I feel for you man. I went through a horrible breakup with my ex girlfriend just over a year ago, and I still love her more than anything. She still haunts my thoughts almost daily, and my dreams, and I am struggling to pick up the pieces of our broken relationship and move forward with my life like she has. So I can really relate to you bud, and the pain that you have felt.

As for the letter idea - it depends what your intentions behind the letter are. I wrote my girlfriend a letter when we broke up and I will tell you why. We had been apart with minimal contact over 2 months (most of the summer) and she had just come back into the city, and her birthday was coming up. I decided to write her a big long letter and make a little arts & crafts project for her (the kind of stuff I did very often during our relationship) until a friend told me that she had decided that she was moving back home for good, ON HER BIRTHDAY. This completely shattered me, and I am still messed up from it over a year later lol. But I decided to make her a huge package, full of letters, drawings, photos, and a collection of all our best memories together and all my favourite times. I finished the project and gave it to her the day before her birthday, and the next day before she moved to another province and left me here with the worst heart ache I have ever felt in my entire life. But in my case, the letter was for closure, for both of us. And I think it was a good idea.. I gave it to her and she opened it on the plane back home and she told me that she balled her eyes out for 4 hours during the plane ride, thinking about all our memories and good times, wondering if she made a mistake. But we were so in love during our years together, and she told me that she would keep the letter for ever and always cherish it no matter what.

So if you think it would help give you both the closure you need, plus celebrate your relationship together, then I would go for it man. It really helped me in some ways to just accept the fact that things were over, and were never EVER going to be the same again. It felt like a slap in the face, but it was one that I needed at the time.