is it all worth it?

Hey guys. Just thought I would tell you guys a bit about myself. Im 19 I live in Ohio. I work in a call center which sucks. But anyhow. Im thinking about ending it all so im seeking some guidance. I've been thinking about it for a while now. And here recently j think about it more then ever. So what's the real reason to live? Before I go on, im just going to tell you guys this is not to get you to bring pitty on me. I don't want that. I just want some help if someone can offer it, so anyhow ill go on with my story.
when I was 2.. my mom and dad split, when I was 9 my mom got on drugs really bad moving from house to house and school to school. Being 12 and fighting grown men bc they try to hurt your mother is not fun. Getting beat by a grown man who's drunk. Eventually I got tired of it at the age if 13 I moved in with my grandpa who has raised me sense then. My life has been tough, but recently it has gotten much much tougher .. last year my sr. Year of track I had so many schoalorships... well at the state track meet I tore my hamstring and lost all of them.. they simply said "your a liability". And shoved me aside.... im pretty fast my 40 time is a 4.49 and my 100 time is a 11.2. But ever sense I tore my hammy I can't even get a look from d3 schools! I don't know what to do.. you know if im going to be working in a call center all my life im going to go insaine...honestly I don't know what to do.. and on top if all that one of ny long time bestfriends killed himself and its killing me slowly.. so what's the point of going on?
I see no point.

 

It's up to you to make a point to go on with, to make your life worth it, if you're already athletic, take up a different sport, maybe an upper body reliant sport?

 

http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=1293734

 

Hey mate

I'm not sure if this is a troll or not, seeing you've just joined the forums, but I'm going to take it seriously.

It seems like you've gone through some really tough times, having parents get divorced is always terrible, and being beaten is disgusting, and you shouldn't have to go through that sort of emotional or physical pain. But please remember, if you feel like life is not worth living now, it can only get better from here.

You're 19, there is so much more of your life that you can explore. I understand your in pain from your best friend dying, but how do you think he would feel if you did the same thing? He/She wouldn't want you to make the same mistake they did.

Check out this thread here - http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=1293734 You'll find some great reasons to not end it. Please, speak to your friends and the people that care for you about this.

 

In all honesty this is not a troll. Im reaching out for help. Not only am I seeking guidance on sythe because my friend told me it was a good community. And as for the responses saying talk to someone around you friend family, girlfriend? Well to start off I wouldn't feel right speaking about it with someone close to me. Mainly bc I would feel weird .. its not something you would think I would say when you look at me...
Idk what to do.

 

Have you considered speaking to a doctor or psychologist? I know it might feel weird, but they can really help you through these sorts of issues. And it's someone you can just talk to without worrying about them seeing you weirdly, and you won't be shy about it.

 

Wouldn't*

 

Yeah I understand ... but I mean they would think I was crazy.. I've brought it up before and my friend looked at me like I was crazy.. noone. Takes it serious.. my gf would think im crazy lol..

 

I'm sure they would take it quite seriously if you're telling them the truth.

 

I am. But no one seems to take it as serious as it really is.. its getting to the point where in just going to have to prove im not kidding I guess? I don't know what else to do.

 

I wasn't saying that you were lying, I was just saying usually people that love you can tell when there is something wrong. Just pull them aside and talk to them, tell them how you're feeling and ask for help. If they laugh at you or something, don't let that danger you, they're either immature or don't understand what's going on.

I know it will feel awkward, but you will feel a lot better knowing you have some people supporting you.

 

Thanks for your concern and I was not talking about you. More or less the people around me id have to prove it to.

 

What would you do after college and running track?

 

You're only 19 dude. Give it another year or so. I was the same way last year, but things really straightened out after high school, maybe try new things like moving to a different state orcountry? Try to take a loan out for college? Ohio is pretty dull, move to a place like miami, cali, or even new york. The key is communication and finding people to live for. You're girlfriend obviously won't get your point, and if you ever come across someone who laughs at ypu or doesnt take it seriously, just say fuck you and leave. You don't need those kinds of frienda anyway. Anyway, pm me for help. Ill give out my number if u wanna talk, goodluck man.