Ultimate Guide to Annoying People

Ultimate Guide to Annoying People
​

----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever feel so bored? That you want to annoy someone?, Heres your ultimate guide to annoying peope.


Introduction:


Sometimes a man has to exhale his frustration and in need of that little trick to really piss someone off.
Yerr thats called "trying to" annoy someone, and below im going to show you the top ways.


Here You Go:

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.

Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.

Announce when you're going to the bathroom.

Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".

Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

As people talk, smell their shoulders.

Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")

Ask people what gender they are.

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Ask to "interface" with someone.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."

Be "in conference" all the time.

Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"

Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways.

Bring 15 things into the dressing room.

Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"

Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.

Buy it, wear it, return it.

Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

Call every girl you know "dude".

Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonalds.

Call everyone a communist.

Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."

Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.

Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."

Call your neighbors collect.

Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Chew on pens/pncils that you've borrowed.
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

Claim you are fluent in over 6 million forms of communication - constantly, every time any language is mentioned, even if the comment is not directed to you.

Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.

Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.

Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.

Consistently refer to everyone as 'mortal.'

Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.

Continually try to get all of the people who write you letters to put cellophane tape over their stamps so that you can wipe off the postmark and reuse them.

Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

Continuously mumble during a conversation.

Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"

Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Develop strategies for cutting into the front of lines.

Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Don't clean the dryer lint screen.

Don't leave a message at the beep, just hangup.
Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back.

Don't stand during hymns and anthems.

dont use any punctuation
Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.
Draw mustaches on posters.

Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners.


Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.

Go up the down escalator.

Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.

Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town.
Hang around national monuments all day, trying to get in other people's vacation photos. Afterwards, give them your address and ask them to send you a print when they get them developed.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

In an office, lock all the doors behind you.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.

Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that you didn't really save them any money.

Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.

Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.

Insist that your e-mail address be [email protected]
Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!

Mow your lawn with scissors.

Name your dog "Dog."

Never break eye contact.

Never make eye contact.

Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.

On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.

On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.

On buses, attempt to convince the driver to take a really cool short-cut you know. Barter and haggle for your fare.

On the public bus, keep asking the driver nervously, "are we there yet?"
only type in lowercase.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

Open umbrellas in crowded hallways.

Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.

When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".
Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."
Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.

Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"
Whenever someone lights a cigarette, tackle the person and yell "Stop, drop, and roll!"
While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.

While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive and put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).

Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

(Taken from Bored.com)

I didnt write this, i just had the decency to copy and paste to sythe. I don't accuse my self of being funny, so there was really no point in writing my own. anyway i hope you enjoyed and feedack would be appreciated xD
[/FONT]

 

I think this is what people would call "Ripping"

 

LMAO. Or you could have just said "go to bored.com" ROFL. Did you even bother to read the rules?

 

Well sorry my bad you don't have to be such a dick about it. not everyone can be perfect. Dumbass.

I'm not claiming it to be mine. I'm just using someone else's guide to please "heartless fuckers" like you, that dont know the differance between masturbating and a joke.

 

Good one. You could post this in the spam forum or something. But fucking read the rules before posting ripped guides. And I really am missing your point with the difference between masturbating and a joke. Lol.

 

Lol i mean as in some people would think of masturbating as a "funny joke" So they would laugh their butt off as they squeeze on the stainless steel cock rod.

And sorry about not reading the rules, im not really use to following them. But i'll make an exception just for you.

 

Ugh...

 

Eventhough it was ripped.... That was hilarios I almost died laughing.

 

Exactly, I DEMAND A STICKY! Not really, but I'm printing this shit off and doing as many as I can at school tomorrow.

 

After all that good grammar, shame to see you spell difference wrong.

Anyways, your banned, but thanks for the idea(s).

 

this really made me LOL.

I may share these with classfellows