I have nothing to live for..

Please help I have been contemplating suicide. My relationship of 1 year and 3 months has just ended. Its was my first and only relationship, I'm 18 years old. I don't have any friends to get help from so I'm seeking help from you guys.

I did a lot of stupid things this past year but I had never been in love before. I skipped school to be with her so I'm kicked out of college, everyday I would sneak over to her house and we would just sleep / hang out. It has been since sept 10', that I have been skipping school. So now I have no school to attend to, no friends to talk to since all of them are in the military / lost contact, and no place to go to. I'm trying to better myself and get over this girl so I can get my life back on track, but it's very hard we have too many memories. All I do is think about her.

I'm not the type of guy that flirts with girls. So I had met this girl because she initiated everything, she had given me her phone number and we started talking from there. Other than that I'm bad with girls. Everything went bad this past month, she stopped giving me attention like she had use to. Brushed me off a lot and started hanging out with her friends again. We haven't had sex in over a month too. I think she found a new guy, but she says she hasn't.

 

As someone who's been in your situation, I can tell you that there's always something to live for. I, similarly to you, found myself out of a long-term relationship, and it really sucked. She stopped talking to me, tried to spread shit about me, even though I never did anything to her. I found myself feeling trapped because everything in my life reminded me of her (especially my music because she lived 40 minutes away, and I would drive out to her 2-3 times a week). For the longest time, I really felt like I had nothing to live for. I had failed out of college, an extremely promising business venture that I devoted 6 months of my life to completely fell through, friends had grown distant, and I didn't feel like I owned anything. But you know what? It got better. It took a long time (7 months), but it got better. And yea, those 7 months sucked, but at the end of the day I was only 19 (18 in your case) and I had a whole life ahead of me.

When you feel like your life has no purpose, the thing you need to do is create a purpose, not simply give up. For me, the first important step here was establishing new things about myself that I didn't feel belonged to her. Most of my music belonged to her. I was a lifelong piano player, but I felt like that belonged to her. My favorite places to go in town belonged to her. But I didn't become a recluse. I didn't consider ending it all. I found new things. I discovered the music of Simon and Garfunkel, and their message turned my life around. I started beatboxing and became an avid beatboxer. I found new places and new friends to go to them with. It wasn't about reinventing myself, but rather finding something that belonged to me and not her. From that point, the rest was easy. Find a reason to get up in the morning, and your motivation to get to the next day already exists.

It's going to suck, probably for a while. And you may not find someone else for a while (I still haven't), but never forget that you're only 18, and there's a lot more to life that you haven't made it to.

Also, being kicked out of college isn't an end-all. No matter what your background is, you can go to your local community college. I don't know what type of college you went to, but there's no shame in going to a community school to get your foot in the door. I've yet to go back to college myself, but when I do (in the fall) I have no qualms at all with going to a community school.

Just remember. This isn't the end of your life. It's an opportunity to do things right this time. Make the negative a positive. Until you do, you're going to be miserable.

 

When life has no meaning the only thing left is to find one...

 

All you need to do is get over her. Your life only feels like it has no purpose, because you made your whole life revolve around her. It's going to be hard to do - especially since she was your first love - but once you do finally move on, everything will start looking up. First off, get back into school. Whether it be a community college like El DLo said, school work will give you the oppurtunity to focus on something aside from her, given you put the required effort in. For now, get some new hobbies. Join a local sports team or do things with other people. This will help you find friends and maybe even another girl. Anything that reminds you of her a lot, try to avoid for the time being,

Remember, suicide is going to cause even worse problems for your family and loved ones. Imagine if she commited suicide, you'd feel like awful. I hope things start turning good in your life, and I'm sure they will, just give it all time.

 

take a break from life and go explore the world

 

Why don't you work your way back into college?

 

Im not being nasty or trying to degrade you, but dude.. your 18 years of age. Your just becoming an adult and the world is opening out for you to aspire to what you want to be/do and your contemplating taking your life away allready? Of course shit happens in our lives, its happend to me and ive been in the same boat as you, but i've never taken it to the extreme of contemplating suicide... Think of it, your making your life easier, but making your whole families lives one hell'a lot harder. Try to work your way back into college, or maybe try going to the army/navy?

This quote really does mean something, if your going to do something stupid like end your life, go ahead and do it. But remember what you will be putting your family through. OR you could find a way to get back on track and do something decent with your life instead of just throwing it away.

 

That's terrible dude. I know it really takes a lot out of you to love someone that doesn't love you back equally or at all.

I would suggest trying to get back into school and going to a few parties with people you meet. If they don't like you, just try again with a new group of people. The main idea is for you to get a little drunk and let loose. When I'm drunk, I'll be with people at the end of the night that I have never even met before. It's also a really great conversation starter when you just fall in the snow for no reason and sit there and laugh at yourself trying to stand up.

 

yea dude, dont get it twisted.
There are plenty of girls like/better than her.

Maybe if you just find a pot dealer?
Get a dime bag, and find a cute girl. Ask her to come chill with you and the blunt.
She may say yea dude.

 

Don't worry bro, after rain comes sunshine and you will find a girl.
Everyone finds somebody...even the most ugliest/nerdiest/fattest once find somebody, and you always have to live. Don't think about suicide, because its wrong and will not change anything.....You will just hurt more people.

 

Never think that you have nothing to live for, there is always something in life.

My advice is to go out on the town, hit the clubs.

There are plenty of women in the world.
Also, work your way back into college an education is important.
Getting back into school will also help make new friends, which is always exciting

If you need to talk, please, PM me. For any reason what so ever. I am always available.

 

I once read a quote the source of which I can't remember or correct wording but it goes to the tune of:

"As a teenager/child every misstep will seem as though it's end of the world but it's only the beginning"


Forcing yourself to think through things logically and step by step really helps in minute ways that give you courage to inch on until you develop a more steady fluid movement in life.