So recently I had IRL problems and one of them is my dad taking away my phone due to me performing bad on a test. I dont mind the fact he took away my phone, i have my laptop still and everything to work and enjoy.
Point being is, it's been 2-3 weeks since anyone spoke to me. The people that I usually hang out with don't ask about for shit. I told them I don't have my phone, and that facebook is available if anything.
But guess what, they plan without me and just leave me. 2nd of all for the past 7-8 years I have not celebrated my birthday with anyone, they never made me a surprise party like they do with others, they only remember my birthday because of facebook and that bullshit. They keep telling me they love me and that shit, they keep saying I am the one that makes them laugh always and shit. But that is bullcrap, what sort of fucking love is this? someone tell me?
Because of this birthday issue I had a dream 2 days ago that people were celebrating my birthday, and it was a late celebration in the dream, i remember it. But I woke up not really giving a shit because it was only a dream.
I don't feel any love coming from them at all and it's about time that I confront them soon and tell them how I feel about this shit they do to me.
Also guess what, they celebrated one of my "mates" birthdays 10 days after the original day, WHY JUST FUCKING WHY, why am I the one who has to be treated like shit, i've always made them laugh for real because I do stupid shit. They keep saying many positive things about me, yet this is how it is..
I'm sick of being left alone when I never left anyone else.
I'm sick of being there for people when they end up not being there for me.
I'm sick of being the one who goes out of the way to make people happy, yet myself I'm the one whos sad deep inside.
I'm sick of being the one for everything.
As well, i don't talk much in life. I really don't, just feels like I have nothing to say to anyone.
I don't understand friends anymore, i don't need anyone if that is how friends are.
