Lost.. with the loss of my best friend.

Hey all,

You might know me around here, but I've decided to stay anonymous. First and foremost I want everyone to let their friends and family that you love them and will always care for them. Reply to that message, whether its been days, months or years, hang out with them for that 1 hour, grab a coffee or do something you enjoy as one day it might be too late.

Recently, I lost my best friend, I'm lost without him and it was only the day before we were on skype together saying we should skype everyday. I had the upmost respect for him and he was loved by many.

When I lived in Australia, we hung out everyday, almost inseparable. I had to relocate back to New Zealand and then onwards to Canada, where I find myself today.. I found out the news via another close friend of mine and it was absolutely heartbreaking. I tried messaging him and till this moment I keep messaging him? in hopes maybe he will see it and reply. I'm just so lost and still can't grasp the depths of what has happened.

My best friend and a truly amazing soul, I'm here to look for some emotional support as I don't know where to turn as I want to be there with my friends but I can't be. I know nobody is to blame for his death, but I feel as if though it could've been intervened had I put my foot down and gave him sound advice.

I'm not sure what else to say, but if anyone has been through this before, I would sincerely appreciate any kind of support.

With Regards..

 

A guy I went to school with killed himself a year and a few months ago and there are sill times when he crosses my mind and I'm baffled he's not here, and it hits me all over again. We weren't best buddies but he was a good mate.

All I can say is; surround yourself with people who can support you and be understanding of what you're going through. Talk with other mutual friends you guys' had and seek professional support if you need it; a counsellor, a school/college nurse, a priest.. whatever helps dude.

I can tell you it will never go away; but it does get easier.

The first stage of mourning is always shock, then it's denial - which explains why you expect him to reply to your texts. It's totally natural, but if it helps then don't be ashamed of it. I know my friends actively post on our friend who passed's facebook on his birthday and so forth, it helps with the pain.

PM me or Skype me if you wanna talk bud.

 

There's always going to be a downfall in life, whether it was your best friend/family/relative or whoever and it's going to hurt. No one wants to feel that pain that they eventually have to go through.

I know this might not compare, but almost a year ago my dog suffered from seizures and passed away shortly after. I've had her ever since I was 4, (I'm 17 now) and just having something that you love for 13 year just disappear hurts. It will get better eventually, trust me

 

Roary,

I sincerely appreciate the reply, pal. I knew I could count you would.

For everyone it's a difficult time, coming to terms and reality it's actually happened is the hardest things. My friends and I created a small outtake clip of some of our adventures which was seriously a sad event.

The only reason I won't accept it is purely because A) I was on skype to him just the day before, and B) On Facebook it says he was last online just 14hrs ago :'(.. in the sense that he was here just 14 hours ago but now.. nothing.

I lit a candle in memory of him and will do a send off for him from New York City which I think him as a person would appreciate.

I just can't stop reminiscing and looking at videos/photos.. Everyone is sending eachother overwhelming support which is amazing, though.

Sincerely sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, also, Roary.

I can't PM as I am banned, sorry.

 

Gotcha, hey man.

Those little things really help in the healing process. We got all our buddies together and had a few beers just laughing at all the stupid shit he'd done and how he'd probably tell us to man the fuck up and stop crying about it, lol.

It's much easier in time, and it'll hurt less. Celebrate his life as much as possible as opposed to mourning his death. Make sure nobody is alone with their sadness, stick together.

 

Haha, sounds like a top lad then.

Y'know that's exactly what I imagine him doing aswell. He's probably right now laughing at me posting this.

The hard thing about being with the close crew is, they're all in Australia whereas I'm now in Canada, but we are still corresponding via Facebook and Skype.

I shall have a pint for him tonight! To my best friend, who's memories will be cherished and never faint!

I appreciate the support, Roar.

 

There's two ways to go about this, you either talk to someone about all your feelings which it seems like you're already doing. The other option is you could try to forget about it then talk about it at a later date when its not as close of a memory any more. I think its best to get things out in the open because it feels a lot better than suppressing things.

Nothing worse than death, Goodluck!

 

This has actually happend to me 9-3-2014
My best friend brian passed away because he commited suicide. He did it because he was fronted 2 kilos of coke, lost his job, his dad wouldn't see/talk to him so he felt like he had the need to end it all, i miss him dearly but ever since i've been going to AA meetings , seeing a counselor, and talking to people makes it better, If you made your friend happy when he was alive look back at that, and all the good moments you shared while he was around, the first part of helping yourself is accepting that hes gone, and mourning is okay, but u need to remember that you made him happy when he was around! Talking to people helped me, seeing a counselor or even talking to a parent/guardian can help.

 

Hey bud, for starters, if you would like help through this process, add my skype and I'll help you out. (Stick.Sythe)

I've been through your situation a few times. I've lost a few close friends, but then I never really came to people for help. I balled up my emotions and eventually they flew out much worse then they would have been. If you're feeling sad, let it out. I'm glad you're asking people for help, that alone takes strength in its own way. I'll get to the point. You will mourn over your friends death, and it's going to take awhile. Things will not seem as enjoyable as they did previously, but over time, things will get better. You'll smile more like you used to. Time is pretty much the key to these things. I know my words aren't much help, but they do have meaning. I feel like a hypocrite, as I can't follow my own words, but try your best man. It'll all work out in time.

 

I have also been in this situation. A very good friend of mine committed suicide because of a girl. But man, lemme tell ya something. It's not easy. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. But listen man, I learned to smile and reminisce about the good times you had together as opposed to mourning that he's gone. If you want to talk you can he a hold of me. Shit man, if messages aren't enough I'll fucking give you my number and we can talk on the phone. (Just trying to be supportive, not weird)
I'm here for you man. No matter if your a stranger. You can vent to me and I'll do my best give you advice or just even listen.

I know I sounded weird but when my friend passed I had no one there for me. Everyone told me to suck it up. And I will help absolutely anyone for them to not have to be stuck in that situation

Stay strong brother.

 

sorry for your loss. goodluck

 

Damn. The yellow highlight^ If it helps, I'm also in pain....

 

Hey man its rlly hard to lose someone close to u but ultimately we all have to acknowledge that in life people will go and it was his time. Firstly im sorry for your loss and I hope you surround yourself with your loved ones and your friends as they are the ones that can help u get through this difficult time. Try to adapt to life without him and make new best friends. Gl with the road ahead and time will heal wounds my friend u just gotta let time pass

 

I guess you could say im pretty much on the same page even though my friend isnt dead we just 8000 miles apart from each other now, we used to hang out everyday and could always count on him to help me out whenever i needed it and vice versa and these days we rarely talk, its tough man

 

Addition to my last text, i talked to my Brian's [my friend that passed away] Parents and i found out they were taking it less harder than me, which made me quite confused, then they told me about how even if he's gone, theres nothing we can do besides reflect on the great moments we shared, Then later that day , they took Brian's ashes to his favorite amusement park, Went on all his favorite rides with the ashes and dumped little bits of them on each one, then they went to the waterfall, ( a place where me and brian used to go for hours and hours) and dumped some off of there. My point is, your friend will never leave you, you will always have him in your mind and heart, and if it is still hard for you to let go, Pray for him, go to church, or talk to a therapist or counselor about your friend. Even talking to his parents would help, they knew him as much as you did. I hope i could help and i hope you are feeling better

 

hardest thing to deal with in this cruel world. Everybody will eventually go through this. My advise is to live hard, and love hard, all friends and family. And only look foward.

 

Second this. This is the rule I live by, it'll happen to everyone one day.