Firstly, floating head syndrome, secondly could be far more dynamic in contrast (since it's black and white, you have to make up for the absence of colour through contrast and dynamics), thirdly, composition isn't great, try blend your effects into a strong foreground/background/middleground, and create effects that accentuate focal point.
I admit the stock doesn't have amazing flow, but there's always c4ds/brushing/clipping/stocks for that.