[Guide] Fake The Symptoms Of Being Sick/Ill [Guide]

Fake The Symptoms Of Being Sick/Ill
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Introduction - Hey Sythe. This is going to be my eighth guide up to date. After my last guide getting denied I was pretty gutted and sort of gave up. But I'd spent hours writing all those guide and really I've just wasted loads of time. So, I'm not giving up. After everyone telling me to stop writing about sports it took me a while to think of something else.

So that's how I thought of this topic really. Yes, it's a little random but I think it'll be alright. I'm not expecting rating like 10/10 or 9/10, etc. I just want a seven or eight at max. Anything higher then that would be great. I spent a couple of minutes searching loads of guide and I've seen that this has been posted before.

Now, I don't want this to end up like my "Good Citizen" guide. I know Sinful Thoughtz also write one like this also (I think) but I swear to you this guide will be absolutely nothing like this. If there is anything ripped from his guide, complain. But unless your paranoid and it's your job to piss me off then I don't think you'll find a trace.
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I know mostly everyone has been in the position where they don't want to go to school. Whether there's a test of some kind happening and your not in the mood/haven't studied or just don't want to go. Mostly everyone has had the feeling. People think that they'll just act ill. This wont always work, your mum and dad aren't as thick as you thought.

So yeah, what can you do? Just making strange noises and putting your hand over your head or across your stomach hardly ever works. You'll need to think much better than that. Others think that they'll just stick there fingers down there throat and they'll throw up. Yes, this does work but being sick like this is very bad for you in many ways.

Sometimes your going to have to actually hurt yourself in some way. Like there is one solution for Red Eyes - Rub your hands with soap and touch your eyes slightly. This sting like hell but does it work? Hell yeah, your eyes go right red, then que the retarded noises and maybe the hand over head/stomach step.

I'll go into more detail about that later. This guide will be showing you separate ways to look ill. If your looking to skive off, choose one that you think will work. For some people, one that won't hurt to much and will be pretty effective. Anyway, I'll get onto all of the ways now, hopefully you'll look to this guide when your looking to get out of school, etc.
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Runny Nose - It might not be one of the worst things that can get you off school, but if it looks pretty bad or you have some soft parents it'll probably work. This will actually be real, it will give you a runny nose for a couple of hours or so but it won't be far as bad as having the real symptom. Follow the steps bellow.

• Pretty early in the morning, grab an Ice Cube and rub it around your nose for around five minutes.
• Dry your nose so you can see loads of like water everywhere, make sure you still have some though or this won't work.
• After ten minutes or so your nose should be red and runny. This will only last for a few hours. Try and do this before your parents are awake.

And that's how you make yourself have a runny nose. I mentioned one pretty important tip in there, try and do this before your parents wake up. It'll be easier since your parents could sneak up on you and you'll be busted. Once done, go back to bed and try and pretend you never got up then you'll wake up with a runny nose making it more believable.
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Sick Stomach - Basically, a sick stomach is just throwing up here there and everywhere. No, we will not be sticking our hands down our throats till we throw up, like I said. Never attempt to make yourself sick. Were going to create a fake mixture which will look like vomit and hopefully your parents will fall for it all.

• To make this whole thing work you'll need most of these: Slice of bread, water, orange juice, black food dye, vinegar, milk, oat meal and maybe some left over food.
• Grab a bowl or any object you can use to crush all the ingredients together. Don't make it to flat, make there be chunks of food to look like real vomit.
• Try to get back in bed till your parents are getting up to make them think you've been there all along. Wake up and either put the mixture in the mouth and 'vomit' later on or pour it in the toilet and say you just threw up.
• Remember to keep making noises while doing this. When you've just fake vomited don't make as many noises as after you've really threw you will feel a little less tension.

And there's that. You could also try and mix the the 'Red Eyes' part (mentioned above) with this. Would look a little more convincing if your parents aren't the easiest to persuade. This may take some time, try and get up pretty early in the morning and avoid from making any noises, if your parent wake up your busted.
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Fake Fever - Well, I'll tell you mostly in this paragraph. Firstly, you'll need to get a bar of lye soap (available at your local grocery probably) if you haven't already got one. Place it under your armpit and keep in that position for around three to five minutes. Your temperature should temporary rise. Here's some tips, bellow.

• Try to combine fever symptoms with headache symptoms.
• Act really unbalanced and unfocused.
• Don't say your feeling really hot, fevers actually make you feel cold.

That's another one done. Like I said, one of the biggest mistakes is saying that you feel hot. Most parents will spot the mistake there, when you have the fever you will actually make you feel really cold and uncomfortable. Don't over react with the unbalanced and unfocused acting parts. That's probably the hardest thing to do.
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Headache or Migraine - The good thing about this is that the only thing that really happens when you have a headache/migraine is that you will be much more sensitive to light and noise. So I'd say that this has got to be pretty much the easiest illness you can fake. Though, it's still fairly hard (to me at least) if you have no skill in acting/drama.

• Pretend your heads hurts, turn off all your music (etc) and get under your quilt.
• If your parents ask where it hurts, tell them back of the head or full headache. Take it slow when talking.
• If you hear a big noise or someone is talking fairly load, twitch slightly.
• Try to go to sleep a lot. Don't move about to much and act pretty drowsy here and there.

Like I've said on a lot of posts above, don't take the acting to much over the top. When acting drowsy, don't go collapsing all over the place. Unless your parents are stupid (No offence if you got away with this) then there 99% of the time not going to believe this for one second. And now I'll move onto my last little paragraph of this thread.
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Faking A Thermometer - Well, the obvious idea that would come to mind is put it by a radiator and before your mum/dad comes back in, stick it back into your mouth. Like most cartoons, anyway. I'll show you some more ideas you can use. If your clever, try to make it more believable by sitting far from a radiator. Here we go.

• Depending on your type of thermometer, heat up some water and pour it in your mouth till you feel it gets warm and stick in the thermometer. Do not use this if your thermometer is made from mercury, it will break.
• If your mum or dad are out the room or simply just not looking, try and put it next to a close light bulb. Once again, make sure it doesn't crack.
• If it's the type of Armpit Thermometer them first put some kind of arm warmer there first or something that will heat it up.
• You could also try another trick by rubbing your finger tips at the brim of the thermometer. This will create friction and it will get heated up.
• This one may be a little weird but you could try to buy another, identical thermometer to the one you already have. Heat the new one up and switch when your parents aren't looking.

And there's some tips you can use if your using a thermometer. Also, thanks for reading my thread and hope you liked it. Please rate a leave a fairly long comment about what you thought. Please do not spam or flame this thread as it will be reported. Once again, hope you enjoyed this thread and thanks for taking the time to read it.
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Thanks For Reading,

SH4D3S.

 

Just read, Lol i think the red eyes + stomach ache will equal "YOU WERE DRUNK WERENT YOU? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

10/10

 

You have a very good layout, one of the best. Good detail and use of pictures, odd subject though but oh well... Good job, 8/10.

 

I like the layout and pictures in this one SH4D3S. I give a 7/10

/Edit: more color for higher rating

 

10/10, runny nose and red eyes got me the day off, thanks SH4D3S

 

Glad I helped! :laugh:

Yeah, I know it's a subject but it's still decent. Thanks. ^_^

 

nice guide bud

 

Thanks buddy. Keep the comment coming, leave suggestions, etc. ^_^

 

Odd subject, but its pretty detailed, also good use of pics.
8/10

 

Awesome Guide Dude... but I'm already sick now so... no guide needed at the moment XD.

10/10.

 

Thanks both of you. And I lol'd. :laugh:

Also, thanks for commenting CH1C0. Keep them coming. ^_^

 

LOL funny guide will help me get outta school lol

 

Lol, thanks for commenting. ^_^

 

Lol. This guide would work for me if my step mother wasn't a nurse.

10/10

 

Ouch, unlucky. But thanks aswell, lol.

 

Planning for a day off soon.
Nice pictures, good detail. 8/10

 

Some of these worked for me, hopefully for you to.

Thanks for rating my guide, keep the support (etc) coming. ^_^

 

very similar to another guide, but i dont know which was written first so no furhter comments on that. Still nice work keep it up.

 

I got this idea from another guide which was written by Sinful Thoughtz. Though I honestly can't see any resembalence. He mentioned one way of making yourself sick but I mentioned many. Thanks anyhow for giving your oppinion. Keep the comments coming. ^_^

 

Very helpful, 8/10