How to approach the opposite gender with confidence.

Before you read on, if you haven't you MUST read 'Physco Cybernetics'



Basically anyone who has trouble talking to the opposite gender I would recommend this book. It isn't about picking up girls or boys, but basically getting your mind right. Anyone who tells themselves that "they suck with girls or boys" has more going on in their head than just not being good with girls. You are telling yourself things which you may not realize and it is holding you back.

"Would you physically crawl up to someone on all fours, BEGGING for their approval and acceptance?"

Probably not, but this is what you are doing mentally when you talk yourself out of approaching or when you get nervous and stressed out when approaching. You need to look at them as a person.

Anyways, good book. Should definitely read it.

Right let's get back to the point of the thread

• You have to understand the time, effort, mental preparation needed before you can chat up to anyone anywhere.
  
• If you only talk to the opposite gender when you know them or they are your friends or you know they will talk to you, you need to EXPAND on your social network.
  
• TALK TO EVERYONE, whether they are fat, ugly, nerds, most popular guy/girl in the school, the slut, the bitch, even your teachers
  
• The problem with movies these days is that the GUY or GIRL always gets the GUY or GIRL. They make asking a girl/guy for their number or asking them on a date so easy and awkward. THIS IS NEVER TRUE.

• Also if you HAVE NEVER talked to the opposite gender without knowing them first, don't expect to appear impressive to them at first. You'll most likely look awkward but its normal.
  
• Isolate what is troubling you about approaching a person you don't want to.
• 'Will he/she think im ugly?' Fuck it. Who cares what they think. They aren't important anyway. If they don't want to talk to you, that's their problem, they're missing out on a GREAT opportunity to meet a cool person like you.

Remember haters are just jealous. You are what you BELIEVE you are.
You can wake up feeling great one morning and feel absolutely shit and ugly the next day. YOUR MOOD AFFECTS the people around you.

Start small

• Maybe ask the girl/guy you always had a crush on or found attractive a few questions in class? Say hello when you see him/her. Offer to help them when they are stuck.
  
• Don't expect them to hate you/love you in the first conversation. They are just getting to know you. Don't act cocky, don't try to be 'cool', don't flirt unless you are experienced, STAY SMALL.
  
• Also note, avoid talking to guys or girls a lot on Facebook/MySpace etc and expect them to talk to you with as much interest Irl.
  
• If you are a really shy guy/girl, then try talking to a girl/guy YOU FIND REVOLTING. Then you will feel superior (it sounds sad but true with a lot of guys/girls). Once you feel more confident move up the hierachy. Talk to more popular people/attractvie people of the opposite gender more often.
  
• Also if you are walking on the street in a mall. WATCH
• there will always be a few guys/girls starting small chat with the opposite gender. Watch how they do it, if you're close enough listen.

CRUCIAL INFORMATION

• Never I MEAN NEVER look for prewritten pickup, opening conversation tips.
• PEOPLE prefer socially active people not a robot spewing internet bullshit.
  
• Even if you don't know what the hell to say to the opposite gender, you will improve with practice. Pre-written lines may sound great, but will appear awkward and you will eventually run out of sources. Making your own means you will improve your technique.
  
• Also You have to learn how to not be afraid to say ANYTHING to ANY GIRL. DONT HOLD SOMETHING IN because you are afraid you will offend her. BUT DONT GO TOO EXTREME. For example, don't say Nice tits slut, in your opener, you'll most likely get slapped. If you think she is beautiful however, comment that shes looking good today, she won't frown upon you unless you are some extremely ugly toad, which 99% of us ain't.

Also did you know, the a large MAJORITY of guys/girls who randomly ask an opposite gender for a date/number get rejected on the first go? They will get this.



SO don't feel alone. Keep trying. Theres billions of people to chat up to. If one shrugs you off who cares.

Thanks for reading, leave a comment and I'm still adding more when i can.

Acknowledgements to

http://ocw.mit.edu/NR/rdonlyres/For...4C90-B108-F7CBF02BB8A7/0/chp_conversation.jpg
http://www.birdslikeus.com/images/go away.jpg

for providing pictures.

 

Nah I'm just kidding, an enjoyable read, it's nice how you tell of personal experience (or made something believable up )

"Who cares what they think. They aren't important anyway."

I especially like this part haha, though I'd only follow the who cares what they think part. I think having some prewritten pickups is fine and I don't agree with the bolded part.

"If you are a really shy guy/girl, then try talking to a girl/guy YOU FIND REVOLTING. Then you will feel superior (it sounds sad but true with a lot of guys/girls). Once you feel more confident move up the hierachy. Talk to more popular people/attractvie people of the opposite gender more often."

I don't think that confidence should come from superiority. Nice guide!

 

Thanks for the feedback. We can disagree over some points you have raised, but I believe in what i wrote =p.

 

Nice guide. Must have taken a bit of time to write. Thanks for sharing. 8/10.

 

haha yea. I pretty much only pointed out disagreements but I liked the guide nonetheless.

 

Yup sure did, about an hour or so to prepare and write. Np, I'll be updating this thread with more tips and ideas later.

 

I was told to check this guide out (he gave me link on MSN) and rate it. I expected some decent guide I didn't even care about - but I didn't expect this. WOW. Great guide and first 10/10 I have ever given. It's very interesting and 100% true! Not boring to read either, and it's something we could all use in our lives. Havn't read the book, but I don't really read so ... . It could be a bit longer of a guide though - I was getting really into it then all of a sudden it stopped and I was like..."awww".

One typo here though you might wanna fix...

Keep making guides like this and sooner or later I would expect UE. This guide betta get approved lol cause I don't think theres any IRL approved guides yet. It would be a nice change .

Cheers,
Snowboard-Ninja.

 

Very nice guide, you're points all logically make sense.

I'll be sure to read that book.

 

Hmm can you explain the typo, i'm too tired/lazy to see it. But thanks a lot for the feedback. I'll lengthen it to make it more in depth later this week when i have time to sit down and think.

 

+It was good! Not of much use to me, but could really help some people!

 

I guess this is good if you've never been to a co-ed school or something >_>.

 

Okay guide, But I mean its not that hard to man up and talk to a girl.

 

That's the point. Many people think EXACTLY like you. But for most if I told them to go and ask a random girl that is very attractive on the street out on a date seriously, how many would do it.

 

But your guide is simply telling others to not make a fool of themselves and go up to someone and ask them out.

This is somewhat common knowledge.

 

Yes it is common knowledge, but it isn't applied very well by many people. I hoped my guide would encourage people to 'apply' that common knowledge

 

Then I suppose it's good at that.

 

Wow, this is so true and funny and true! I mean talking to the opposite gender is a lot about not expecting too much. Also when you say talk to them in class but STAY SMALL... no boner or what?

 

I mean stay small as you can't expect too much from them.

 

Everyone in my class is totally the opposite to this guide and everyone is fine with it. The girls stay with the girls and the boys stay with the boys. I know that there is one person in our class that does everything this guide says and uses it for his personality and everyone, frankly, thinks he's a dick. He does everything like this but doesn't have any permanent friends. He's temperary with everyone, he says hi, and enters a conversation then leaves. I mean, I myself wouldn't want a friend that acts like that, it's too easy to lose. If a friend was too open-minded and spoke to everyone the way he wanted and had that kind of personality it would be too easy to lose them as a friend, therefore I wouldn't want one in the first place. But great guide anyway! ^_^

 

Nice guide, thanks for it.