Offensive Jokes/Memes Thread

Post your filth here.

 

dude wtf my phone went through the water and i've had it in rice for the past two days, shits still broken

 

pretty filthy

 

You think asians will go for your shitty rice. You need sticky rice else they can't get it off your phone after they cook it

 

I don't get the first one but the second one is marvelous lmao.

 

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children" she wrote "10," and where it said "List the names of children" she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out, "Now where it says 'List names of children,' you're supposed to write the names of EACH ONE of your children."
"Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den i uses de last names."

 

Q: What's long and hard on black guys?
A: The 1st grade.

Q: What's long, hard and black?
A: The unemployment line.

Q: What happens when you put your hand into a jar of jelly beans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.

Q: Why do you go to a black guy's garage sale?
A: To get your stuff back.

Q: What's the difference between a dead black guy and a dead raccoon on the road?
A: There's skid marks in front of the raccoon.

Q: What do you do when you see a black guy with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.

 

A blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learned how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5, 6,7,8,9,10! It's good, right?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mum.
"Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks.
"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mum says.

Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, right?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mum.
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks.
"Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mum says.

Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mum.
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."

 

Why are trees so close in Harlem?
Public transportation

 

Q: Why won't a black guy use aspirin?
A: He's too proud to pick the cotton out of the bottle.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You take her to a round ball shaped room and tell her to find a corner.

Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: When she tells you she found one.

 

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

12.

One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like",
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men,
and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

 

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question - feminists can't change anything!

 

they can change their sexuality

 

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

 

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!