Possible old MCr style song [Let There Be Shrapnel"

The title should have read "Possible old MCR style song [Let There Be Shrapnel]
Haha, it's kinda late and I haven't slept in two days.

Anywho, the lyrics in mind go:

"It’s mildly disturbing, maybe a bit too far.
Just might drive a nail through my hand and guitar.
It’s not quite the same as a hole in the head.
But spare me a bullet, I’m better off dead.
As I sit contemplative and with my wrists slit, I wonder as to why she’s put me through this shit.
It’s too much to bear, losing the girl I adore.
And now I lay dead in my bedroom floor.
But she'll refuse to surrender, not a tear will she cry.
12 Gauge to her head, it's her turn to die."


Possible MCR style entrance or verse?
Discuss.

Constructive criticism only!
Thanks!