--Note: This thread will contain some very personal stuff about me. If you are here to hate me or my life, please go away. I understand that some of the things in here may seem superficial, but that is just the way I am. It's not going to change because some anonymous poster on a website says it should.--
Bad?
Hey guys, my name is Marshall. I am a 15-year-old freshman (soon-to-be sophomore) at a fairly large high school in Southern California. I am 5'9", 135 pounds; I am a blonde, very white male, with a six pack and moderate sized muscles. I play wide receiver (offense) and corner (defense) on the JV football team. I am in all Honors classes, and I have the highest GPA in my class (4.80: tied with 15 others, out of 700+ students). I play guitar, drums, and piano pretty well, as well as being good at computer stuff like Java, Photoshop etc. I am relatively popular, I have multiple friends in every crowd. I have had 3 girlfriends in my life, though I've had ~7 times when a I've liked a girl and she liked me (and we both knew it) but nothing ever came of it. This year, I went to the Homecoming dance with a Senior, and to Prom with a Junior. I am not the best looking guy out there, not the guy that the girls think is "SOO HOT," but I've been told that I'm cute by several girls.
All these things are like "coolstorybro," but here we come to the hitch in the story. I didn't used to be like this.
I'll begin the story with the first day of Freshman year (about 9-10 months ago).
I was, to put it bluntly, a theater geek. I was in the Advanced Drama class and in Show Choir, and also in Freshman PE (the PE class for non-sports kids). I am not saying there's anything wrong with "theater geeks," I'm just telling it like it is. I used to sing, dance, act, and perform in musicals. I'd been told that I was talented, though I didn't believe it myself. I was 123 pounds, I had a white-guy curly afro, really quite shy, and insecure about myself. Plus, I was known to all of my friends as "the guy who can't play sports." Anyway, back to the story.
First day of Freshman year, I met a girl. She was (and is now) in three of my classes. She's the captain of the Freshman Cheer Team. We'll call her Lilly. Imagine the most perfect thing you've ever seen. Whether it be a bright red rose in bloom, or a sparkling waterfall, whatever it is. Lilly was the most perfect thing I had ever seen. This may sound creepy, but I didn't (and still don't, really) have much experience with girls. Hence coming off really strong, like the description of her. But anyway, long story short, I liked her, right off the bat. Now, looking at it in hindsight, we can see that this was just infatuation, the way it started. But in the midst of these feelings, I could not. I was not comfortable around her. Every time I was within her eyesight, I questioned everything that I did. I was super insecure, and I often stuttered or couldn't say anything around her. It was then that I came up with the idea of the Occupational Barrier.
I realized that, for a guy as insecure as I was, it was simply impossible for me to talk to her, let alone date her (she liked a football player, by the way). I surmised that I simply could not do it. I had, however, been told by my extremely knowledgeable friends (Juniors and Seniors in high school) that there was no such thing as a social barrier (in other words, a barrier between unpopular kids and popular kids. E.G: Theater Geeks and Cheerleaders). Since there wasn't really a popularity barrier, I thought that there must be something else.
It seemed to be that it was most common that, at my school: Smart girls dated smart guys, drama girls dated drama boys, girl stoners dated boy stoners, softball players dated baseball players, and cheerleaders dated football players. So I looked for the thing that connected them together. Then I thought of it. Their hobbies! The smart kids tended to do homework together, therefore they spent more time together, began to like each other, and started dating. The drama kids had drama class together, therefore they spent more time together, began to like each other, and started dating. The cheerleaders and football players hung out at and after every football game, therefore they spent time together, bonded, and dated. It all seemed to fit!
So, I decided to become a football player.
Call me superficial, call me fake, whatever. But I felt really moved at the time. From there, I quit choir, quit drama, joined wrestling (in the winter, to buff up for football), and then joined football in the spring. For 7 months, I worked my butt off to achieve this goal. And I did it. Finally, 2 months ago, I began to change.
I ACTUALLY TALKED TO HER. But beyond that, I wasn't really shy anymore. I wasn't "that chubby drama kid" anymore. I was actually good at sports! I actually found that, while I used to be insecure and disapproving of myself, now that I was working out and putting myself out of my comfort zone more, I actually was coming to like myself better. As I got more friends and bigger muscles, I actually came to appreciate the good things about myself. I'm still not dating Lilly, but I'm not uncomfortable talking to her and it isn't so far out of the question.
But no good things come without regrets. Sometimes, being an analytical person (I didn't get that A in English for nothing), I lay up at night thinking about what I gave up. I in no way regret the direction my life is going in, but I still think about it. I think about some of the friends that I gave up. Yep, by quitting choir and drama, there are a few people that I just don't talk to. Sometimes, I feel like I got too caught up by popularity.
What I'm asking you guys is, after reading my very long story, do you think I've done the wrong thing? It is easy for me to look at my life and say I did it all right, but I just don't have that outside look. I'm wanting your opinions on whether I did this all for the wrong reasons, whether I'm being superficial and selfish, or whether this is all normal for a teenager to go through. Just one last thing to help you make your judgment: Before I met Lilly, I NEVER cared about being popular or playing football.
Bad?
Hey guys, my name is Marshall. I am a 15-year-old freshman (soon-to-be sophomore) at a fairly large high school in Southern California. I am 5'9", 135 pounds; I am a blonde, very white male, with a six pack and moderate sized muscles. I play wide receiver (offense) and corner (defense) on the JV football team. I am in all Honors classes, and I have the highest GPA in my class (4.80: tied with 15 others, out of 700+ students). I play guitar, drums, and piano pretty well, as well as being good at computer stuff like Java, Photoshop etc. I am relatively popular, I have multiple friends in every crowd. I have had 3 girlfriends in my life, though I've had ~7 times when a I've liked a girl and she liked me (and we both knew it) but nothing ever came of it. This year, I went to the Homecoming dance with a Senior, and to Prom with a Junior. I am not the best looking guy out there, not the guy that the girls think is "SOO HOT," but I've been told that I'm cute by several girls.
All these things are like "coolstorybro," but here we come to the hitch in the story. I didn't used to be like this.
I'll begin the story with the first day of Freshman year (about 9-10 months ago).
I was, to put it bluntly, a theater geek. I was in the Advanced Drama class and in Show Choir, and also in Freshman PE (the PE class for non-sports kids). I am not saying there's anything wrong with "theater geeks," I'm just telling it like it is. I used to sing, dance, act, and perform in musicals. I'd been told that I was talented, though I didn't believe it myself. I was 123 pounds, I had a white-guy curly afro, really quite shy, and insecure about myself. Plus, I was known to all of my friends as "the guy who can't play sports." Anyway, back to the story.
First day of Freshman year, I met a girl. She was (and is now) in three of my classes. She's the captain of the Freshman Cheer Team. We'll call her Lilly. Imagine the most perfect thing you've ever seen. Whether it be a bright red rose in bloom, or a sparkling waterfall, whatever it is. Lilly was the most perfect thing I had ever seen. This may sound creepy, but I didn't (and still don't, really) have much experience with girls. Hence coming off really strong, like the description of her. But anyway, long story short, I liked her, right off the bat. Now, looking at it in hindsight, we can see that this was just infatuation, the way it started. But in the midst of these feelings, I could not. I was not comfortable around her. Every time I was within her eyesight, I questioned everything that I did. I was super insecure, and I often stuttered or couldn't say anything around her. It was then that I came up with the idea of the Occupational Barrier.
I realized that, for a guy as insecure as I was, it was simply impossible for me to talk to her, let alone date her (she liked a football player, by the way). I surmised that I simply could not do it. I had, however, been told by my extremely knowledgeable friends (Juniors and Seniors in high school) that there was no such thing as a social barrier (in other words, a barrier between unpopular kids and popular kids. E.G: Theater Geeks and Cheerleaders). Since there wasn't really a popularity barrier, I thought that there must be something else.
It seemed to be that it was most common that, at my school: Smart girls dated smart guys, drama girls dated drama boys, girl stoners dated boy stoners, softball players dated baseball players, and cheerleaders dated football players. So I looked for the thing that connected them together. Then I thought of it. Their hobbies! The smart kids tended to do homework together, therefore they spent more time together, began to like each other, and started dating. The drama kids had drama class together, therefore they spent more time together, began to like each other, and started dating. The cheerleaders and football players hung out at and after every football game, therefore they spent time together, bonded, and dated. It all seemed to fit!
So, I decided to become a football player.
Call me superficial, call me fake, whatever. But I felt really moved at the time. From there, I quit choir, quit drama, joined wrestling (in the winter, to buff up for football), and then joined football in the spring. For 7 months, I worked my butt off to achieve this goal. And I did it. Finally, 2 months ago, I began to change.
I ACTUALLY TALKED TO HER. But beyond that, I wasn't really shy anymore. I wasn't "that chubby drama kid" anymore. I was actually good at sports! I actually found that, while I used to be insecure and disapproving of myself, now that I was working out and putting myself out of my comfort zone more, I actually was coming to like myself better. As I got more friends and bigger muscles, I actually came to appreciate the good things about myself. I'm still not dating Lilly, but I'm not uncomfortable talking to her and it isn't so far out of the question.
But no good things come without regrets. Sometimes, being an analytical person (I didn't get that A in English for nothing), I lay up at night thinking about what I gave up. I in no way regret the direction my life is going in, but I still think about it. I think about some of the friends that I gave up. Yep, by quitting choir and drama, there are a few people that I just don't talk to. Sometimes, I feel like I got too caught up by popularity.
What I'm asking you guys is, after reading my very long story, do you think I've done the wrong thing? It is easy for me to look at my life and say I did it all right, but I just don't have that outside look. I'm wanting your opinions on whether I did this all for the wrong reasons, whether I'm being superficial and selfish, or whether this is all normal for a teenager to go through. Just one last thing to help you make your judgment: Before I met Lilly, I NEVER cared about being popular or playing football.
good luck
) and others.