People make me sick.

I think the moral to my "shit society" issues is, move to Canada.

Jealousy conquers me, i hate him but i can't see him with anyone else.

I can't give you 5 good reasons, all i can do is tell you i hate him but i don't want him to be with anyone else, jealousy conquers my emotions.

I don't think hes cheating on me, he's with me a lot, he hasn't lied as much this time around this was just the first time i caught him. I told him the next time he lied we were over...

It's hard to explain, i don't like him at all.. I don't, i'm just jealous seeing him with someone else.

 

Oh jealousy, one of the deadly sins and in my opinion, probably the most destructive thing for a person to endure.

Why be jealous? Because some other babe is going to get played and leeched from? You think that he's going to change for the next one on his list? They come a dime a dozen, come on now.

How about instead of finding 5 reasons to stay, we find 5 reasons for you to leave, and then you gtfo of there.

1. He makes you jealous (Leading factor of depression)
2. You hate him, and hate can't make love.
3. You're on the right path with your education/career, and he's only making you lose sight of it.
4. There ARE other people out there that really are good people (Seriously, I stopped all of that mess and now I live to help others and I wouldn't lie about something unless it was a life or death situation, and I sure as hell wouldn't sneak around and play on another human's emotions.)
5. You still can't name 5 reasons for him to stay!

Emotions don't go away. They either get resolved, or they prey on you until you go off the deep end, or smother it with something else negative.

 

How do i get over the jealousy and fear of him being with someone else?

 

Delete him from your life. Delete as in delete every aspect of contact from him. This way you wont know if he is with someone or not. Go out and find another guy, it'll drift you away from him then.

 

You don't, hun. You let him go and you move on with your life and be free of all the anxiety, all the nervousness, all the jealousy, all the lies, all the emotional roller coasters, all the nights you stay up thinking about it, all the thoughts you have of ending it all. Like a weight, you just let it go, and all those problems are going to slip away with it.

Then you wait for that guy to come around, the one that instead of making you feel like a train-wreck, he sweeps you off your feet and makes you feel like you deserve to be.

Lilly, I've had this conversation with people time and time before. People even much older than you. No one ever wants to zero in on the real problem, because they think it isn't a big deal or it can be fixed. Well, truth is not everything can be fixed.

Let him go, move on. Like I said before, just by this little conversation we've had, you sound like a great woman and any guy who isn't all about the poo-tang would be lucky to have you - Because just like men, a lot of woman play guys too. But you sound like you have your head screwed on right.

 

I suppose i could try this, i don't know how i got so wrapped up and fucked over by this.

I don't screw people over, i morals and scare of karma prevent that from happening, i just don't know how i got wrapped up in someone so useless and heartbreaking.

 

I'm assuming high-school is how you got wrapped up with him.

I'm going to be honest with you some more though, a lot of people who I've talked to in the past about pretty much this exact thing usually go back to the fire after the adrenaline of being ready to end it all withers away.

I'm going to be as blunt as possible, because maybe what I'm saying will sink into you. If you do not get this guy out of your life, you will continue to be depressed and irritated over things that people do like videoing someone having a seizure (Don't get me wrong that's not cool, at all! But, I didn't think that was the main reason you posted in personal support).

 

The best thing to do if you want to completely get over someone is not talk to them anymore. Men have it lucky in that 99% of the time when you tell your buddies that you broke up with your girlfriend (assuming they played no role in it) they will say too bad man, she was a bitch anyways.

Don't talk to him, delete him off facebook, get a new phone number, don't hang out where he does and when he tries to contact you tell him to fuck off. If you don't worry about what he is doing then you will think about him less and less until you won't at all. If he tries buying you stuff don't accept it as you are just selling out then. The more you creep him on facebook after you have broken up the more you will want to get back together when he comes along as you get jealous of the other people he is with.

Once you get that down GO OUT AND HAVE FUN. By far the best way to get over someone, just go out and enjoy yourself.

In Ontario where I live anyways there is a SEVERE shortage of nurses, people get hired RIGHT out of Nursing School. The pay is pretty decent too, even with little experience you get in the placements you can still get $24 for an RPN and $29/hour for an RN.

 

Yes, that is correct.

This is true, the only times he ever wants me back in when things settle down.

I believe you're right, i just don't know how!

Sorry this took so long for me to reply, i just got off work.

Everything you just described, creeping on facebook, hanging out where he does, etc... This is exactly when my depression sets in, you're completely right.

It's rather hard to go out and enjoy myself though when i'm constantly worrying what he's doing...

 

I am exceptionally gifted at recognizing non-verbal communications and reading body language and whether its genuine or acted. However while I am not much older than you I can't tell you how to get over jealousy because I never experience it in such a way. Perhaps its a philosophical point of view, once I break up with someone I think of it as the finality and prefer to not think about what we did for a while.

While it does hurt to lose the time invested in a person, you have to value yourself enough to keep yourself away from them. As a girl you would have probably never learned this lesson depending on how much of a wanted quality you were. The more you go back to someone the less they will respect you each time you come back and the more likely they are to cheat/hurt. This is because they know they have you and they can do whatever they want without having to worry about you going away, so they can use you when the need. This is literally the first thing you learn as a male (usually 12-14) is that after your first girlfriend dumps you and you desperately try anything to get her back that you are just humiliating yourself and making her respect (and her friends) you less.

The more you take a guy back the more he knows he can get away with, the less respect he will have for you and the less any guys he knows will have for you. The key thing is to put more value into yourself. As far as going out when you are depressed I just have always done that. I was lucky enough to have parents that taught me that from a young age, so I don't think I have ever had any serious bouts of depression beyond anything normal (relatives/pets dying).

If you don't respect yourself it will be exceptionally difficult to find anyone else who will respect you in a relationship so its best that you really work on that right away.

 

My LORD. I'm going to screenshot this and set it as my background.

I never had parents to teach me this, i grew up in a foster home and left when i was 16 which is why i give believe i give too much. I should have never let myself get into a situation like this.

Your advice was astonishing and the best I've ever received in my entire life, thank you.

I have to block him from my life and show him i no longer care about him, even if i do. Eventually feelings will disburse and i'll be able to move on but for the time being i need to concentrate on myself and respecting MYself before getting into anymore of these situations.

 

Annex pretty much hit the nail on the head, there.

The only advice I can really give you now is if you do break ties with this guy, stay on the right path. Seriously, one slip up can change everything. You know your values so keep to them, and it'll attract the right people for you over time.

I think everyone could use a little time to focus on themselves, and really just figure yourself out.

 

The hardest part is just to entirely abolish him from my life. Blocking him on Facebook, his number, etc.. Believing that i'll be with someone for my entire life because i've spent so much time together, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

It's hard imagining going through a comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life, dead do the thought of loosing someone you deeply care about while being a slave to my head and the fear of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone day in and day out for the rest of my life.

It's going to be rough..

 

You might find this helpful. http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html

Yeah, to an extent I feel the same as you about humanity in general, but you shouldn't let it get you down. You're probably selfless like me, but for that reason you shouldn't even think about taking your own life. Just remember what you do everyday, you help people and you make the world a better place and you should be proud of that. The world would only be worse without you.

 

1: Dump your boyfriend. From the sounds of it you were in an abusive relationship which has made you feel unworthy and that your boyfriend is the only one you deserve. It might not have been physically abusive, but he could have done things to make your mind think that you are unworthy of anyone else and that he is the best person for you. This is not right and you deserve better than some jerk.

2: People are idiots. You see it all the time, all over the world. They only care about themselves, but what you have to realize is that not everyone is like that. There is a small amount of people that would help the person. Ive seen an old man fall over and slam his head into the pavement before and not one single person bar myself went over to help. Turns out the man had a brain aneurism and passed away later that day in hospital. It made me feel physically sick that no one else tried to help. There will be people that will help though and its just a shame that on that day all you saw were idiots.

3: With the constant depression/normal style of feelings, have you ever wondered about being Bi-polar. It could be an option to look at, and even if it is not bi-polar there is still the possibility of something happening previously in your life which has only started effecting you now which could be causing the depression. The best thing i would advise is see about going to see a doctor/psychiatrist and see what they think about it.

I hope i helped some what.

 

Definitive not Bi-polar, i've been tested for that and it has been ruled out. There are mental issues in my family, my dad spent six years in a mental hospital and then killed himself a week after he got out.

I just have severe depression, for example, i'm in a bad mood right now, for no reason. It's just how i am.

My sister lives in New York and the entire time I was there I had 0 depression, i feel like that is the only way i'll get rid of it.. I've been looking for nursing jobs in hospitals in New York and possibly exploring the option in moving in with her for the time being. That's the easiest to get away from my ex and end my depression i'm hoping.

 

I'm actually a 2nd year Paramedic student and from what I've learnt so far, reason being to why everyone was probably standing around was cause either:

-They don't know what they can do to help
-They don't want to make things worse

I'm sure if anyone knew the procedures to take that could help the man, they would do so promptly

 

If you let the fear of being alone engulf you, you are destined to be alone. Courage and strength to overcome fear are two exceptionally attractive attributes in both men and women. Even taking little steps like going out every other weekend will help strengthen your resolve.

Secondly if you plan way too far ahead in a relationship you will likely never see those plans come to fruition. Its better to enjoy the moment than it is to plan out your entire life with another person within the first year of dating him or her.

There are two reasons for this one is that you don't know the true intentions of the person you are dating. If they are looking for a person to hang out with frequently and not really looking for anything long term if you start planning a life with them it will creep them out and make them leave. There are obviously certain things you can do that will give them hints as to their intentions, but only time will let the true intentions out.

The second reason is you also don't know them well enough to start making plans when certain things should occur, which will ultimately make them "let you down" without them even being aware of an expectation on them or that they are actually letting you down which can destroy an otherwise fine relationship.

Lastly the thoughts of losing someone shouldn't be paralyzing because you will lose everyone eventually. They will drift away or they will die or you will die, this is the reality of life. I am not afraid of losing people close to me or dying because I know it is an eventuality which is why I try to enjoy my life the best I can while I am still young and able to and not worry about things that I cannot control at least for now.

 

Lilly, with the depression your going through, just stick in there and keep your head held high.

I know what you mean about how our society is changing and people tend to just stand and stare expecting someone else to jump in and be the savior. I hear soo many people talking about how they want to be famous and open up charities in the future but when it comes to being on the spot, they are nothing.

I remember in grade 6, my school librarian was standing on a counter top putting up posters and suddenly she slipped and fell. There was just a few of us students in the library since everyone else had left. She was screaming in pain and everyone was just standing and staring at here like dummies not knowing what to do. When it happened, I guess my leadership skills kicked in (btw i never knew i had these qualities haha) and I yelled at everyone to stay in the library to look after her while I ran to the office and got help. At the time I felt special because I was the only one to actually do something instead of standing still like an idiot. Other than that, everyone needs to stop being lazy and caring about what other people would think if you were to do something benefiting yourself or someone else. I see cars broken down on the roads everyday, would it really hurt to go help that person out instead of just driving by like the rest of the people?

 

I am glad to hear that you love your job, and it sounds like it suits you in a way - helping people, and trying to make a difference in the world. But unfortunately, the medical professional is one of those careers where you are exposed to A LOT of the grime and filth in society, and have to deal with some horrific things on a daily basis. It is not uncommon for nurses, doctors, ambulance attendants, police officers, fire fighters etc, to become deeply depressed or develop mental disorders such as PTSD because of their exposure to this dark and gritty side of society that most people are shielded from in their happy little bubbles.

It sounds like you are depressed about other things as well, so there are probably some other issues you need to work through on top of this one. But perhaps you should really evaluate how much you love your job, and whether that is worth the toll that it takes on you emotionally? What exactly is it that you love so much about being a nurse? It sounds to me like you enjoy helping others, and like you have some very solid views about society and the world in general, and probably need to be in a career where you are actively trying to make a difference and help make positive changes in the world. Whatever your reasons for loving the job are, do you think it would be possible to get this same kind of satisfaction and personal fulfillment from another career that doesn't necessarily expose you to the same kind of depressing underworld that the life of an LPN/ER nurse can, and likely will expose you to? Maybe think about that for a little while and do some soul searching. Perhaps there is a compromise or a 'middle ground' that you can find where you can be happy and still do what you love?

Also - the ex-boyfriend issue sounds pretty self-explanatory. I am not going to judge or question your motives for taking this person back repeatedly, who seems completely comfortable just waltzing in and out of your life as he pleases. I know the crazy things that love can do to your mind. But you need to realize that as much as you want to believe you can change this guy, you can't change another person, ever. Unless he makes the effort to change himself, he is always going to hurt you and cause you pain. I think a large part of your depression would subside if you could just get rid of this guy and not have to deal with that additional stress on top of everything else you are going through. You need to be strong, and kick him to the curb and walk away. Until that time, he will always be weighing you down and holding you back from being happy.