I keep thinking things are getting better

But when I sit down alone I realise they aren't, I'm always back at square one, it doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing, after having a great day out or even when I'm at college I'm OK, but as soon as I get home or I'm alone sadness just hits me like a brick.

I thought things were getting better but they aren't, I found someone who I love and I've been with them for 4 months now, at first things were really good and I wasn't sad any more, but recently things are getting pretty bad. I keep thinking she's going to find someone else or she'll cheat on me, I'm kind of expecting it to happen and wanted to break it off in case I get hurt and things get worse. I'm scared she'll realize I'm worthless and I don't know if I can deal with that.

I really need to make things better, I don't even know why I'm sad again it's becoming unbearable..

 

You are not worthless, do not think like that. You are a good person, just our way of thinking is wrong, be an optimist.

 

We're all human, you're just being a pessimist, lighten up.
You have a College to go to, a girlfriend to love and that should be the base set for your outlook on life. Don't worry yourself with troubles because shit will always happen, and you can't just ditch it before you learn the lesson, because then you're basically walking around blind. Take the time to think, the time spent being alone and sad could always be the time to get up, go out and do something about it. Find something you're genuinely interested in and concentrate on it, don't wait for opportunities to land in your lap, go out and grab them.

 

Need to try and change your attitude, not only will you feel better but trust me women will love it. Be more positive. And also talk to her about it man, I recon most younger guys don't know this. Most women will melt if you show your feeling. Just tell her bluntly how much you like her and your starting to get a little scared and worried. If she then opens up to you and says is all good dont keep telling her your scared shes leaving. Just tell you how happy you are with her

 

I've been where you're at for quite some time now. It's a good thing you realize what your situation is, rather than pretending like it's not there. All you have to do now is figure out what's making you so unhappy. For me, it was this constant up and down emotional cycle with a girl I really liked. I was absolutely crazy about her; no other girl made me feel the way I did about her. However, several times I felt like no matter how close I got to being with her, something always happened that dragged me back down to zero. I felt like I was living in a void where I could only strive to achieve happiness, but eventually I'd just end up back at nothing. So I decided to just forget about her completely, because she was really only causing me grief.
Maybe you need to start focusing on what makes you happy. I've been concentrating on my music a lot more recently to take my mind off of things. It really helps to have something to strive for when you feel like this. Believe me, I fluctuated between a sense of unaccomplished failure and false hope for the past few months, but recently I've felt a lot better now that I dropped everything that had been giving me worry or causing me anguish.

And as much as I hate to give this as a suggestion, another thing I've been doing to help me wind down is going into my backyard at night, smoking a few bowls, put some Coltrane on my Zune, and laying back and looking at the sky. I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but it's an incredible feeling seeing the stars like that. It makes me have a greater sense of appreciation towards the beauty of the Earth and Space. The problems I'm having become completely nullified when I think about the grandeur of the world around. There's so much more out there for us to enjoy and appreciate, it'd be a waste of time to spend our lives running around in circles worrying about the same problems over and over again.

Move on and do what makes you happy.

 

Tv very well put! I wish I could put my thoughts into words better and tbh spell better and use better grammar to get a point across.
I know what you mean by lOoking into the stars, it's so relaxing but don't start to think what's byond our sky or how everything started haha Your head will explode

 

If you keep thinking like that, it will become true.
She's obviously with you because you're a great person, so just remember that and stop thinking bad things about what will happen.

Unfortunately bad things do happen, it's a part of life; these bad things make you stronger. Nothing bad will happen between you as she obviously likes you if you have been together for 4 months.

 

I am interested with this, could you why is it that you initially feel depressed or "back to square1".
It seems that your insecurity is not the only reason you get depressed.
Don't be afraid of admitting why you are sad.