Need help with a close friend

Hey guys, I don't really know who else to talk about this. I'm extremely worried about her and I'm about to lose my mind. If we can't get this sorted out =\

So, I've know this girl for quite some time, almost 4 years. I met her when we started secondary school and we've been close friends ever since. We have been in love 2 times (dated each other twice). She dropped out of my school last year, but I've kept in touch with her by going to her house / meeting up. Just to mention she's 16 and I'm 15 (2 months till I'm 16)

Anyway, last Saturday I went to a house party with her and 7 other people. Before we both had a drink, we both told each other that we were in love with each other. So as I walk in, I see her on top of the stairs. I walk up and sit next to her and tell her how much I've missed her etc...

So, about 20 minutes after I arrived, her mom came back from a party with her mates because she felt ill. So we all tried keep it quite as we had to let her sleep. By this time, everybody but me and Amelia was pissed out of their heads.

Anyway, the night went on and I got pissed out of my head too, so I was in bed by 1am (we were going to stay up until 4am ish). So I wake up at about 3am in her bed next to her. I knew nothing went on because she knows that I respect her and I wouldn't do anything without her input. But I woke up because she took off her jacket. So I've got my arms around her telling her how much I love her and I'd never let her go. I ask her if me and her are on again and she nodded (meaning yes)

So I stayed up from 3am to 10am holding her whilst she was asleep. (I couldn't sleep at the time) When we got up, we all went to subway to get breakfast.

Lets skip to about 5pm on Sunday. I get home and ask her if she's been ok, and obviously she said yes. I told her that I have bipolar (which I do). She started acting bitchy saying "So everything you said last night was bullshit?" and I said no. We had a little argument about it and stopped talking for a day.

It got bad yesterday when I tried to make the effort of talking to her again, but she gave me the short, snappy and sarcastic remarks. I got pissed off and I said 'Mill, what the fuck have I done, I'm about to lose it... I can't change who I am. You're breaking my heart' and she replied 'yeye' (as a sarcastic remark). I got that pissed off I threw my phone at the wall, and broke my knuckle.

Baring in mind that I knew she used to be emotionally depressed, she used to cut her arm as she was isolated and had nobody to talk to... I didn't know why she done this, but I've recently found out why... Me and Milly's friendship had broken down because of several reasons over the last 4 days... She called me and we had an argument over the phone about why she's being like this. I got pissed off and called her a two faced bitch. And she replied with this

'I can't trust nobody because you don't understand what it's like having an alcoholic stepfather who came home to beat the shit out of you every night. Who mentally and physically abused you every single day. You don't know how much I love you... Saturday was the only night I could sleep because I had you by my side.' I immediately broke down in tears over the phone (I never cry btw). She deleted me on BBM (Blackberry Messenger). I tried calling her, but it went straight to voicemail. So I went on facebook the next day to get her to talk to me. We started talking again.

So Yesterday (Thursday), her mother was taken to hospital because she was seriously ill. She got even worse when I tried feeling sorry for her.. I told her that if she needed somebody, then I'll always come to you. She said 'I don't need your sympathy...' I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to be a dick. About an hour or so later she changed her personal message to 'That just broke my heart'. I messaged her saying "What's wrong ^". She said 'My brother and sister are crying because they think my mom's going to die.'

Me: "They're young and don't understand, she'll be ok".
Her:' I know. I'm not an idiot'
Me: What the fuck... Are you being serious?
Her: This is all my fault ok
Me: Why the fuck are you taking this out of me, when I'm here trying to support you? I don't understand you no more. You've been bitchy ever since Sunday. If you have something to tell me, then tell me because I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm so done with trying to help people
Her: Just leave me alone.
Me: Fine, talk to me when you're ready...

About an hour after she says "Don't go".

I haven't spoken to her since because I don't want her to hurt me even more.. I seriously need help with this because I think she's going to start selfharming herself again. I'm seriously in love with this girl. But she said she's not ready for another relationship, which I understand. I just need help on how to sort this situation out...


Thanks for reading this extremely long thread.