where do i go from here?

for years i have been a recluse. Having little experience with people, I was left socially inept, although considered intelligent.
I would try converse in ways that were simply unappealing to those around me. this alienated me. I shrunk back into my shell even more while deluding myself with the belief that it was I who did not like people and not the crushing reverse.
After seriously looking at myself, I could not reasonably delude myself further.

As a child, I was exposed to an incredible amount of rejection. I never knew unconditional love, not even from my own family.
no one other than me knows the entire tale
there are only about 3 people who know the very PG version of my childhood and they seem to pity me for it. I sometimes even feel that my closest friend is only so because we are glued together by pity and some unspoken duty to remedy it.

on top of this i consistently find that people can stand me only for short periods of time. I do not know what it is, people just seem dissatisfied when I share their environment for extended periods of time.

so now I find myself a frustrated twenty-something year old who is unable to engage in meaningful relationships with people due to projected insecurities and an overwhelming fear of seemingly inevitable rejection.