Well as i almost always write music for songs and never get a chance at lyrics, so i seem to build up quite a few ideas over time. Im just going to put a few down just to see what you guys think. Just to warn you im a guitarist who writes riffs just to piss off drummers not a lyricist so bare with me =P "the aligencies of the light and dark in your mind becoming distant ,no parallel tie to bind no control over any humain action ripped through you , no conscious fraction just pray you anger does not destroy your fate for the last breath i take i love you." "ive lost connection, i pray for redemption but its not coming. The loss of perception, the gain of deception a loss of reality. no matter how i try no matter how i loss my self in your arms i will never be set free forever i am dammed." So far these are lyrics that go with a few guitar parts im working on but nothing is set in stone and i know it may be hard to see how they fit into a song but the timing is pretty tight atm.
The second one reminds me of All that Remains and the first one reminds me of Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Not really that great.... There needs to be more substance, it doesnt go deeper than the surface with them. Gotta find a way to tie your audience into the words.
Now I understand why the lyrics sucked. No offence my man, but your lyrics were all out of place, made no sense, and were way off with the original path of which the lyrics were going. 10 minutes is no where near the time needed to write half decent lyrics. I would encourage you to spend alot more time on your lyrics, because you may be an "on the spot type of guy." but maybe you should "hop off the spot" and take a little more time. Sorry if I was to harsh, just my opinion.
The reason i didn't take more time with them was i had no need to write any.. i was just giving it a go.
