Most painful event/situation you have lived through?

Thank you for posting your story Kristian

I admire the strength and courage that it takes for you to come forward and share your story, and I am glad that you feel relieved after posting it here. That is why I created this thread, and it is such an elating feeling for me to see people like you come here and liberate yourself by opening up and sharing your stories and your scars.

I am very sorry to hear about your mother's passing, and about the many hard years that followed. I know exactly what it is like to go through a period of isolation and reclusive behaviour, and I am glad that you are getting over that and have met some important people in your life to help you through it.

The process of healing takes a very long time, and it is very gradual. I hope that you begin to gain strength over time and become more confident and happy in your life. It sounds like your girlfriend Rachel is a very special person, and like she has helped your tremendously in coming out of your shell and getting back to your old self. Just be aware that you need to also find pillars of strength and courage in yourself, and not rely entirely on another person to provide them for you. I say this because if something ever happened to your relationship with Rachel, you need to be able to survive again on your own, so make sure your value each and every lesson you learn from her and apply them to your own life.

If you ever need to talk to somebody you can always post here again or contact me via PM or MSN. Thanks for coming forward to share your story

 

Well, mine has/is still going on. I am a recluse. My teen years are almost coming to an end now, and I can seriously count all the times I went to any social event on my two hands. I stay inside 90% of the time, I have spent 27,000 hours actively on the internet (More than 3 years, every second of those three years) and have developed very extreme OCD, as well as hyperhydrosis. If you didn't know, hyperhydrosis means that my body sweats abnormally, especially my hands and feet. It gets so bad that I don't shake hands with people. My hands can sometimes look like I have just come out of the bath. Not really sure what to do.

 

I apologize for responding to this so late, I didn't get notified that you had posted.

Your situation sounds very much like my youngest brother. Although he has not been diagnosed with anything in particular yet, he displays some serious signs of OCD and other disorders that might be the cause for his social awkwardness - like autism. He is kind of right on the cusp, I believe. He is also a major recluse and rarely ever leaves the home apart from school, and he is very uncomfortable in any social situation that does not involve my immediate family.

I understand OCD and other similar mental disorders are very serious, and very hard for people without them to understand. I personally believe that a very large part of the disorder is driven by your fear and anxiety, fears that might not necessarily be proportional to how things really are out there (for example, fears of being involved in social situations or having to interact with other people, or feeling exceptionally awkward when you are out in public or in any situation where you must interact with others). Please correct me if I am wrong.

I know that it isn't just as simple as "going out there", but perhaps you could try and solve some of your problems by forcing yourself to face your fears and expose yourself to public/social situations where you must be involved with other people. I'm sure this will be greatly uncomfortable at first, but hopefully over time it may help to ease your mind when you are in those situations. Again, I don't fully understand OCD or any related illnesses, but I do know that they require a tremendous amount of mental strength to cope with or to try and keep under control. Maybe you could start by slowly pushing yourself to do some of the things you are uncomfortable with/fearful of?

As for your excessive sweating, I can sort of relate. I tend to have a higher body temperature than most people and find myself overheating very fast or sweating easily. It can really suck sometimes when I start sweating just because a classroom is too hot, or for no apparent reason at all. I've heard of some surgical procedures that you can actually undergo to help correct the excessive and over-productive sweat glands, particularly if you sweat out of your palms and feet. I would maybe try doing some research into that and see what you find. You can start here by reading this Wikipedia article that mentions some common medicinal & surgical treatments for hyperhydrosis: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperhidrosis.

 

when i was around 11 years old, i i lived in a village, i was walking one side to the other (300m) to see my aunty
when a drunk driver down a , T junction without slow
in the other car was a women, she was crushed by the door and i ran overbeing younge, and grabbed her hand....

i didnt know the women, and she died whilst i was holding her hand.. ive never quite been the same :/ and its the first person i ever saw die,

A person almost goes cold, it's strange seeing something soo lifeless

Fucked me up for a couple of year, i only ust or so told my best mate in a heart to heart last year

-7 years ago.. still scared

 

Fell off a 3 story rook trying to sneak out. This is when it all started...

 

My mother died +/- three weeks ago. This event made me even stronger and gave me more motivation to become successful in life.

 

Some back-story: Since my junior year of high school (my 11th year) I had been a very depressed person. The girl I loved and was in a relationship randomly moved away without even giving me a goodbye, and never talked to me again. My mother was constantly raging about something and it only deepened my depression and anxiety. By 2009, when I began college, I wanted to kill myself. My friend at the time, Kristina, had begged me not to, and would spend every second of her free time with me to ensure that I didn't. Those were the only moments I had ever truly been happy in a very long time.

Fast forward a bit, and back in 2010 on my way to college, my car flipped and threw me out of the sun roof. My face and the upper part of my torso (from the chest up) were being ground against the road with the weight of my car pressing hard against me. After what seemed like decades, the wreck halted. I laid there stuck for such a long time, trying to touch my face and attempting to keep the blood out of my lungs.

Finally, a squad arrived. My right arm and chest were pinned pretty tightly under the vehicle, so it had to be moved first. Once I got into the squad, the awful accident took a turn for even worse events. The left side of my face, the skin, was literally peeled and hanging by a small thread of flesh. I had two broken ribs, severe nerve damaged in my right arm, a break in my left knee, and a traumatic brain injury.

On the inside, I was bleeding heavily. My lungs were filling with blood quickly, and suddenly refused to work. As my vision grew blurry and I died in the back of that squad car, a medic gave me an emergency tracheotomy and began resuscitate me.

All I remember after that is waking up in a hospital/rehabilitation center. I've worked my ass off to get as far as I have today. According to everyone who worked on me, I should be dead. And if not dead, I shouldn't be stable or be able to take of myself. In other words, mentally handicapped. I somehow managed to beat all of the odds.

Today, I'm enrolled into a college for this Fall. I'll be majoring in Occupational Therapy. I no longer have depression or suicidal thoughts. I've been medically dead once, it wasn't that great. I'm easy going and take life a day at a time now. Oh, and that girl, Kristina? Well, she's now my soon to be wife. There's nothing like being dead to make you see how valuable life truly is. So, save yourself some pain and take it from a guy who has been there; life is beautiful. Don't rush it, and enjoy every second.

I posted this here so that everyone can see that no matter how dark and hopeless life seems, never give up. Never. I should still be dead. I should never have been revived. I shouldn't even be able to type this little story out that you're reading. Hard work, hope, and persistence can achieve great things.

 

Kristina truly deserves a life full of happiness

 

I agree with every fiber of my being, and I always give it my all for her. She deserves nothing but the best, and that is what I aim to give her.

 

That would be an incredibly traumatic experience for anybody, let alone somebody so young. I've heard that you can almost feel/see it when a person dies, and when their soul leaves their body at the exact moment of death. That kind of thing would be so hard for a young person to understand and I completely understand that you have some damage left over from your experience.

Besides just being scared, you should try and look at your experience from a different angle. Although that woman lost her life, you were probably the last thing that she saw before she left this world. The amount of comfort and peace you must have given to her as you knelt beside her holding her hand, is truly remarkable. Nobody ever wants to leave this world cold and alone, but unfortunately it happens all too often. At least that woman, probably terrified, was able to grasp your hand and look into your face as she slipped away. At least that woman knew in her final moments that she was not alone, and that you were there beside her.

You did a great thing. I hope that eventually you are able to find peace with what happened, and come to terms with it. A terrible thing happened that day, but at least something small and good came out of it, and I'm sure you had a very large impact on that woman's life in her last few minutes. Stay strong brother.

I am sorry to hear about your mother's passing.. I am glad to hear that something good has come out of it though, and that you have been given strength and motivation to do good things in your own life.

Learning to see the bright side in dark things is a hard lesson to learn, but very important if you want to live the best quality of life possible. If you can take something sad and grim like your mother's passing, and channel that sadness and energy to do positive things in your own life, then I'm sure your mother would be so proud of you to see how mature and strong you are.

Hold in there bud.

Joker, this is a truly amazing story and I personally find it very inspirational. Thank you very much for sharing

I do believe that sometimes the most learning & growth in our lives occurs when we have to experience bad things. In your case, it sounds like you had to teeter on the brink of death itself before you were able to recover and fully, completely value your life and see the beauty in your own existence. And the fact that you found love through it all is even more amazing, and I applaud your courage and strength.

I am ashamed to admit that after experiencing a similar situation to yours, that I still find myself depressed and feeling lost in my life sometimes. Exactly a year ago in June, I overdosed on heroin and would have died if my friend hadn't immediately called the ambulance. When the paramedics arrived, I had stopped breathing and was medically dead as well, and I had to be subsequently revived with a shot of Narcan (Naloxone) and rushed to the hospital. I am absolutely, 100% certain that if I had been with any of my regular "junky" friends at the time, that I would have died. They certainly would have been more concerned about the police showing up and arresting everyone & tossing out the drugs than they would have been about my life, a disgusting scenario that I am ashamed to admit I have witnessed and been apart of a few times myself. However, the friend who saved my life died later that night, alone and with nobody there to save him, and that is a monstrous guilt that I still carry around with me every day.

What I am most ashamed of, is that during that period where I narrowly escaped death and for a couple of months after, I was so out of it all the time that I didn't fully realize nor appreciate how close I came to losing my life, and just how much my actions on that fateful day cost me and my friend. When I started to clean up finally, I vowed myself that I would get clean and turn my life around, for both me and for my friend. For awhile, that was my motivation that kept me going day and night, and kept me from relapsing .

I also feel ashamed of myself often for not having the same kind of inspiration, or life-altering experience that you have described, even though I have been through something very similar. I still often find myself feeling depressed, or like I've done so much irreparable damage to my life that things may never get back to the way they were before. I realize how lucky I am that I've been granted a second chance, and that I should never take my life for granted. But sometimes I do, and that makes me feel like shit.

I just want you to know that you story is extremely inspiring though and I like to hear things like this. I try and think deeply about your words and reflect on my own situation, and remind myself how lucky I am and that I should be dwelling on all the things I am fortunate enough to have, rather than the things I don't have. Sometimes I just need a small reminder, and I feel that reading your story is exactly that for me. So thank you mate, thank you for sharing.

Also, I wish you best of luck with your future, your continued recovery, and with your upcoming marriage to Kristina. I hope you both are happy

 

I'm glad I have helped at least one person in some way. I hope you find peace with yourself soon. Everybody makes mistakes, humans are far from perfect. We aren't all "wired" the same way, so I hope you find that person, event, or thing that helps you free yourself of your past. As for me and Kris, we're absolutely perfect for one another, and I can't imagine myself without her. She truly is my better half, a real piece of me. Thank you for your wishes, and you have all of mine as well.

If you ever want to PM me or something, feel free. I enjoy giving back to the world in every way I can, no matter how significant or insignificant it may be.

 

I'm happy to hear it bro. I am also a big believer that sometimes people come into our lives for a specific purpose or reason, you know? Sometimes the world just works out that way and throws us a bone when we are in need. It sounds like Kris has been a solid pillar for you during some of the toughest times of your life, and has helped you rediscover yourself and your life for life.

That is truly beautiful, and pretty godamned inspiring as well. :'( *happy tear*

 

While I was in my first year of high school, my very first girlfriend in '05 dumped me. I of course was torn cause I was a little turd experiencing 'puppy love' for the first time. We dated from '03 - '05.
Approximately 2 months or so later, her elder sister who was around 19 at the time came to visit me after school and informed me the reason of our break-up. My GF suffered from Grade III astrocytoma (A high level Brain Tumour).
She had to undergo Radiation therapy, chemotherapy etc. unfortunately she passed away after 3 surgeries which failed to reduce the size of the on-growing tumour.

This is probably the most emotional painful moment in my life to date.

Thinking of this event is making me feel pretty iffy so I'm gonna stop, go to church now and think of Jesus

 

Actually my "trauma" is probs a pussy vs the rest but o well here we go.

When i was 12 i seriously hated my mom from time to time.. even that bad that i'd sometimes try and just run away..
Couple years later. My mom decided to put me on boarding school (i agreed and was happy with this at the time.) Thing soon changed however. The boarding school was the worst experience i've ever ever had in my life. I feel as if 4 Years of my life have been thrown away. No social life at all. since when u come home. u dont feel like going out but feel like relaxing. not partying. Boarding school basicly went like this day in day out: Eat Go to school. come back and eat. then study 1hr+ then eat then study 1hr+ again (even if you had no homework or anything.) and then straight to bed. the amount of "free time" u got per day was close to 1 hr. wich is in fact bullshit.

Bright side:
IM OFF DAT SHIT YE BOII
Happy to be home and party more den ever ^^

 

Love.

I joined a new school, and after a year i started liking this girl, we were quite close, but she was closer to someone else, they started dating, then later on, they split up, and like after 1 week of them breaking up we got closer,

but my best friend got her to send a text, saying that she loved me when she didn't, me believing it got my hopes up, then i found out that it was fake, asked him why he sent it; he said it would make me feel better. Thinking his shit logic through, i threw my phone at him, completely destroying my 4S :L and now, like 6 months later, the kid she was dating is going out with her again, and rubs it in my face like every day...

 

Oh man... that sounds truly devastating.. such a sad tale of love.

Before she passed away, did she tell her sister anything to tell you? Like that she still loved you? I imagine the only reason she broke things off with you is because she really loved you and she knew death was close, and she wanted you to move on and be happy. That is absolutely heart breaking to think about :'(

I can guess the effects that this experience has had on your life to this day. Losing somebody you love is hard enough, but losing them completely, forever, knowing that they are gone from the world, is overly painful. I hope that you are able to heal and move forwards from this. Perhaps you will see her again one day when your time is over and you move on into whatever waits for us after death. I hope so

That sucks man, 4 years of that must have been really hard to handle. I feel like that sometimes, like my life is being wasted and all this time is slipping down the drain where I am not really living. But in the grand scheme of things, it has only been for a short while - I cannot even comprehend 4 years of that!

I guess you can take something from your whole experience at boarding school though, as you now know that time is precious and limited, and so you should spend what time you have doing things like that love to do and living your life to the fullest extent

Party on, my friend!

Failed crushes and broken hearts can be extremely painful, and so I feel for you there. Not to mention the fact it is being rubbed in your face every day, that is hard for anybody to stomache.

The good news I have for you though, is that you are still very young. This might seem extremely painful to you now, but I can guarantee that you will eventually move on and forget this girl, and you will find somebody better. When I was your age I had many crushes, and girls coming and going from my life, and I remember experiencing lots of heart ache and that feeling of loss. It wasn't until I was much older and entered into a couple long term, serious relationships that I realized how silly and petty the drama with girls was when I was in elementary and middle school. Those girls are easy to forget, and you will move forwards from them onto bigger and better things.

Just keep your chin up in the mean time kiddo, and keep your heart open. There is a good girl out there waiting for you, and as you get older you will find girls who are more serious about dating and less interested in playing silly games and messing around with your head & heart. Good luck, and keep that smile on your face always

 

For me at the moment... Failing College due to me not understanding some of the work (mainly the programming shit). Having a whole year of my class fucking me over and working against me, conned me out of £30, took my USB when I wasn't looking and went through my files, framed me countless times for stuff I never did, I really wish I'd stayed in school looking at College. Still want to go back there in a few months and fin the prick who scammed me and beat the shit out of him, although he could easily get the police involved as I won't be part of the College then. And I only found out about the USB thing a few days back. There's only 2-4 people in that class who I would still talk to. I also never told a certain someone how I felt about him, still I can get in contact with him if I want to.

 

The hardest thing that i've had to go thrue was my buddy killing himself within the last year.

He was known as "Nex_" on Powerbot, and was a great guy
(Link to the page that they made for him:http://www.powerbot.org/community/topic/591624-rip-kyle-a-durniok-aka-nex/)

He was the reason i got into runescape so much, i met him at my community library and we just started hanging out more and more and we became best friends, then he started having some family problems and he came to live with me for a while and he was the brother that i've allways wanted, and he went to the army and i just don't know what got into himself, and well...he's gone now and i lost a very close "Brother" figure prior to him being dead, and it was rough but for some reason kyles death has been the hardest thing for me EVER.

I also ask if ANYONE knew him via PB and talked to him alot, i need you to PM ME and i would like to just talk about him.

Regardless, thats the hardest thing i've had to go thrue so far in 18 years of life.

 

Coming from an Indian family, ALL my parents ever wanted was for me to get good grades and have no social life. The problem is that they never saw it from my perspective and the hell they put me through. As a young kid, I was abused almost everyday and living day to day was tough. The only time my dad told me he loved me was when i got 95% on a test in grade 6 and that happened over the phone. To make matters worse, my grades weren't that great and my dad wanted me to go to a psychiatric doctor to get checked up just because I don't get good grades. I remember when all my friends would be together having fun playing outside and I wasn't allowed to go, I would just wan to run away and never come back. Being at that young age where most kids live freely with no worries, everyone just wanted to have fun and not worry about the future. But then there was me. Getting abused almsot everyday phyiscally and verbally and always worrying about my grades because If i ever failed, I couldn't imagine what would be coming my way. I remember when things got really tough for me all I ever wanted to do was commit suicide but I just didn't have the guts for it. Whenever I would try, I would just think about the future and me having my own family one day and never treating my kids the way i was treated. Thinking about me having my own family always put a smile on my face and thats what kept me from taking my own life.

If theres anyone out there who still goes through phyical and verbal abuse, just remember to put that behind you and look up to the future. God put us all on this earth for a reason and we aren't leaving without fulfilling our duties and NEVER, i repeat NEVER go down without a fight.

This is nothing compared to the other stories I've read on this thread but at that time, growing up through my childhood facing all those difficulties, life was very tough.

 

Actually upon hearing the news from her sister, she was still situated in the hospital so I was able to stay with her whenever I could till her time came.

Years later whilst growing up, I realised what she did was very mature for her age (14 y.o).
In realising that, it's had a pretty huge impact on my life.
But nevertheless, I've had over 7 years to recuperate and living life as I should and hopefully she be looking upon me