Most painful event/situation you have lived through?

Wow SmokeHut, that is truly an incredible experience that you went through, and I completely respect and admire your courage and your attitude.

One of my biggest fears in life has always been suffering some sort of permanent, life-altering accident like that. Losing a limb, ability, or sense, becoming confined to a wheelchair, etc. I think the biggest reason I fear one of those things happening to me is because I know that I am not a very strong or courageous person in some ways, and I just don't think I would be able to cope with that.

Maybe at some point in your life you felt the same way, but I can only imagine how actually being in a life-altering situation must have brought out a courage and determination in yourself that you never knew you even had.

I find your story truly inspiring, and I am glad to hear that in the end it actually made you into a better, stronger person, and that you have learned to cope with it and found happiness once again. Kudos to you mate

 

My Dad committed suicide in December 2011.
I'm scattering his ashes in June at the top of Scafell Pike, Cumbria, England.
England's highest mountain, and the only mountain we actually climbed in the end.

 

sorry to hear that.

I got my big toe run over by my neighbor

 

Thanks for the reply Zerker , It would have been worse if it prevented me from doing more than it does, such as driving etc..

But the main hold backs it presents to me are any type of sport involving a moving object, as my peripheral vision / depth-perception aren't quite right so distance of an object can be impossible to judge the distance of.

But other than that, it's not stopped me one bit !

 

I am sorry to hear that Amethyst

I think I told the story in this thread previously, but I lost my cousin when I was in highschool the exact same way. She is the only cousin I have that is older than me, and it was a very painful time for me & my family. So I know what it's like, although I can't imagine losing a father.

I wish you and your family the strength and courage that you need to heal from your Dad's passing, and I hope that you can find some peace and solace when you scatter his ashes.

Ouch. I've had my foot run over by a car before once or twice. Not fun.. Luckily I never broke any toes though.

No problem bro

I actually have a friend who only has 10% vision in one of his eyes, so that eye is pretty much completely useless for seeing out of. But it's the same story as you, he copes with it very well as he has had it since birth, and I never even remember that he can't see out of one of his eyes as he can still play sports, drive, do all sorts of things that require strong vision.

I met him in elementary school actually when we were both very young, and he had to wear an eye-patch for a few months to help train his other eye to take pretty much the full brunt of his ability to see. All the kids thought it was super bad ass

Once again though, I am very glad to hear how it doesn't slow you down. I admire your strength

 

thats very sad man.

my best friend got shot in the head for mistaken identity

 

That is very unfortunate... who shot him?

 

A year and a half ago I was walking home from a party and some guy came up to me and grabbed my ipod I was buzzed so I tryed fighting him he was like double my size he through me to the ground and stomped on my head, I was in acoma for 3 days and now I cannot learn to read or spell any better then I could that day. A year later I lost my best friend she wentd to a party and passed out she puked in her mouth and drown to death

 

Those are both very terrible experiences mate

Since both of those incidences, has it changed your outlook on drinking/partying at all? It seems that alcohol was likely a factor in both scenarios. I know that I eventually realized that although I love to drink, it causes nothing but trouble for me and for many other people. Alcohol always seems to be at the root of people's problems, especially when violence is involved.

 

nevermind.

 

i stopped drinking and partying after what happened to me just because i was too scared to do it anymore knowing something like that could happen, i was supposed to go to that party with my friend but i bitched out because i couldn't handle that makes me feel a whole lot worse about it because i know if i was there i would not have lost her.
and to make everything a lot worse this is my last year of school and all of my mates have already moved away i don't have any good friends anymore so i have nobody i can vent on in real life. i have thought about suicide many many times but the truth is i don't have the balls to do it. i have met some really good friends over runescape/xbox that help me get through the day i know its sad my best friends are people iv never met before in real life but its the truth.

 

That is good that you have stopped drinking and partying. I know the relief those things can provide for you when you are hurting, but they also tend to ALWAYS make your problems much worse. You also can't feel guilty about losing your friend just because you weren't there. She made a decision to go out that night and drink, and you made a decision not to go, which was the healthy and smart choice for you. I also know how guilty you can feel when you lose somebody close to you and feel that it is all your fault, or that you could have done something to prevent it from happening. But you can't think like that... that person made their choice to go out, and you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anybody else. You can't control other people's actions unfortunately.

I think you are doing a good thing by venting and talking about your issues here, or with your friends who you have met online. It may feel sad and pathetic to you sometimes, but it is not at all. If you can meet people online who can help you and make you feel better, or even just to provide a small amount of temporary relief from what you are feeling, that is something special that you should hold on to. You will meet more people in real life who you will grow close to eventually. Hold in there bud, if you ever need to talk you know that you can get in contact with me

Thanks for posting.

 

- What is the most painful (emotional/physical) event or situation that you have lived through in your life? This could be ANY sort of situation.. a car accident, an illness that impacted your physical health, a loss of a family member, a devestating breakup etc.

Hmmmm, well I've spent most of my childhood watching my siblings come in and out of psych wards, that gets traumatic after awhile.

However, the most painful/the one thing that I remember so vividly to this day was back in my dad's drinking days when he came home on Christmas's Eve smashed. Long story short he spent that night at the police station, and Idk, I remember the Christmas tree just lay knocked on the ground. But I got to hear the terror, the fighting, the screaming, the cussing, the hitting, the whole 9 yards.


- Do you feel that this situation has left a severe impact on your life, and/or changed you as a person and led you to where you are and who you are today? Was that change/impact positive or negative in the long run?

Well, besides learning of the Santa's non-existence at age 6, It really doesn't bother me so much anymore but for the longest time I felt a lot of resentment that just lingered for a very long time... Maybe it's just because I'm moving on with my own life but I don't know, I wouldn't wish that on anyone and I strongly believe that drinking plays a major role in a lot of traumatic events like that.

Currently, though, my best friend just had a liver transplant not too long ago so I'm dealing with that... Sometimes it's hard to swallow and it's weird to think about but he's a strong dude and I love him to death.

 

i would say its when i fail on a big exam

 

umm...this pales in comparison to everyone elses stories, but it was probably when my mom caught me smoking pot. i come from a very snooty family and they think drugs are the devil(some actually are), but not pot. so i got yelled at for like 4 days, they were honestly thinking of taking me to rehab...because i had a marijuana pipe. thats why i was gonna be sent to rehab. of course, it didnt happen, and i cant say i havnt smoked since then, but it sure as hell sucks trying to be sneaky about it haha.

 

Although I've never had a violent or alcoholic father, I can definitely relate to your story in other ways, and I agree that alcohol/drinking usually plays a major role in lots of family conflicts - whether emotional or physical.

When you describe the terror, the fighting, the screaming, the hitting etc, it paints a very vivid image in my mind. I know exactly what you are describing too, as I have been there myself on many occasions and on BOTH sides of the situation. When I was kicked out of my parent's house when I was 17, I had a serious drinking problem and I was the person terrorizing my family, a violent and aggressive, mixed up person. Over the last few weeks I have been having a similar problem with my younger brother who has been drinking heavily, which all lead up to a violent drunken finale just a couple of weeks ago.

Alcoholism runs in my family blood, and there is just something about it that is pure evil when anybody in my family consumes it. It poisons us, and brings our worst qualities to the surface for all to see. I know it is the same for many other people and their families, and only as I get older am I finally beginning to see the destructive tendencies of alcohol and how badly it can tear families apart.

I hope your dad no longer drinks. Thank you for having the courage to share your story

Failing an exam can be quite traumatic for many people... especially if your parents/family members have very high expectations for you. Just don't get too hard on yourself when it happens, because it happens to EVERYBODY at some point or another.

I can totally relate to this experience mate.

I remember when I was very young and was just beginning to dabble in light drugs - like alcohol & pot. I was having a lot of problems at home with my parents and a lot of problems in my personal life, and I found relief in those substances. I remember coming home one night and my parents wanted to talk to me.

It turns out that my mother had found a single BIC lighter in my room, and she went absolutely ape shit. I had a very long, uncomfortable talk with my parents in the living room as they hurled all kinds of nasty comments at me, including accusing me over and over again of being "an addict" and needing help, etc. I was furious with them, and how they could possibly blow something so small and insignificant into an issue so huge and complex, and it just baffled me. My anger towards my parents grew much deeper than day, and I remember exactly how it feels to be accused of being something as dirty as a drug addict when you are in fact just an innocent and normal 13/14 year old kid.

Ironically though, years later I did become a drug addict. It is not my parent's fault at all, but I think that I felt very alone and misunderstood and disconnected from my family during my teen years, and that only increased my need to use substances.

Anyways, I know how you feel mate. Just try and remember that your parents, as strict as they are, probably only want the best things for you. The truth is that drugs are terrible things (even drugs like pot that don't seem so bad, often open that gateway towards harder drugs & experiences), and I imagine your parents just want to shield you from them in any way possible. They just happen to take a harder approach towards educating you about drugs. Thanks for sharing

 

would have to say the moment i told myself that suicide wasn't the answer, im still living through and working on getting through being sexually assaulted around 9 months ago i get flash backs all the time, depressive thoughts, insecurities, blaming myself, anxiety the list goes on feels bad man

 

As a child I developed a severe staph infection in my leg and they were seriously discussing amputating it. I was about 8 or so at the time and I couldn't imagine not having a leg so I vowed to myself that I would heal and I did heal up and they didn't have to amputate my leg.

I could only imagine what my parents went through with that.

Also have had a Close friend and a cousin commit suicide, its not painful to me compared to losing friends to accidents, its sort of a sour feeling I suppose would be an accurate description for me.

 

It sounds like you have been through some terrible experience Skyline, and I applaud you for having the courage to come forward and post about it here Many people who have been in your situation, or similar situations, end up with long lasting traumatic effects - often because they develop PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

The good news is that with time, therapy, and learning to accept & deal with what happened to you, you can learn to live a completely normal life again. The flashbacks will stop, and so will the depression and suicidal thoughts. I am glad you didn't go through with suicide, and if you haven't sought help already, I would highly suggest you do so. Don't be ashamed if you need to reach out to somebody or ask for help. There are people out there who know how to help you learn to deal with your traumatic past, and they can give you hope for a bright future.

Don't give up, keep moving forwards and you will get there one day. I wish you the best of luck <3

Wow I've never heard of a staph infection leading to an amputation.. I can only imagine the terror you & your family must have felt when you were faced with the possibility of losing a limb. In my opinion, that is one of life's biggest challenges, and something that not all people can deal with. I have always been terrified of being faced with that kind of scenario, as I don't know if I have the strength to get through it.

I find it amazing that you literally "willed yourself" to heal and get better when you realized the consequences of not doing so. I also believe that sometimes, our minds & bodies are capable of much more than we realize, and that your courage, strength, and determination probably helped you get through that situation in one piece, and learn an important lesson about life

I am sorry to hear about your cousin & your friend. Everybody's view on suicide differs individually, and not all people have the same sort of sympathy and sadness for somebody who decides to throw their own life away vs. somebody who has no choice in losing their life. I hope that you can come to grips with the fact that those people in your life were probably suffering greatly, and did not mean to hurt you & your family by taking their own lives. Suicide is a terrible thing

Thank you for posting & sharing your stories.

 

When I was 12 my mum got leukaemia, she was in the hospital for a whole year, she went into remission and everyone was happy, we were so glad she wouldn't be sick any more, and that she was going to be better soon, but then we got a call from the hospital saying the cancer had actually spread and she was only going to last a few more days. It was so heartbreaking because she was supposed to get better, everyone in my family and my friends were so happy and a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders, but she died 2 days later and I didn't get to say goodbye properly, she was too drugged up to talk to us, to even acknowledge that we were there.

I think the thing that upsets me most was when we visited her maybe 6 months into her illness and she was happy, she was in a good mood and the nurses made her laugh, we'd seen her and all of a sudden she put her hand to her head and removed a wig she'd been wearing, I hadn't noticed she'd been wearing one, her hair was similar anyway, and we saw her with completely no hair, she said to us "Ta-daa!" smiling, we smiled back and laughed slightly, she wasn't downhearted about it and was trying to make us laugh. I think that was the worst part, when I saw that it crushed me, I broke down when I got home and couldn't recover from it, it was too hard.

From when she died I became isolated, I didn't want to speak to anybody, I shut everyone away, I became negative, antisocial, I refused to go anywhere or see anybody. I stayed on my computer all the time, I played games to try to distract myself, a year or so passes after the same repetitive lifestyle of using the computer all day and night in my bedroom, alone. My cousin visits my house, she has always been able to see right through me, she takes me into the kitchen and looks right into my eyes and just says "You've got no friends, you don't go anywhere, you don't see anybody and it's pathetic." I knew she was right but I was defiant about it, from the moment she said that I tried my best to change, my friends had by then moved on, although still living on the same street as me they weren't very interested in me any more. I moved to a different area, never spoke to anyone and continued my isolated lifestyle, this time against my own will, I found it hard to trust people. I met a few people who were never truly there for me, throughout school they bullied me, the people who were supposed to help and guide me. I went to college, met my best friend Josh, we've been friends for 3 years now. Second year into college I met Jess, she's probably the best person I've ever met, we were best friends for about 2 years until about 3 months ago she just completely stopped talking to me, without a warning or reason, she won't reply to my calls or texts and she won't bother giving me a reason.

I met Rachel just over a year ago, we got into a relationship soon after, she made things so much better for me she doesn't even realise, she's wonderful. I can't imagine how bad things will get if she ever decides to leave me for some reason. At the moment I'm happy, she's making me happy.

Sorry that my story is so depressing but that's what happened, and if I'm honest I've missed out serious things happening like my step-dad being stabbed in the heart and my sisters situation, but I don't want to divulge that yet I'm not sure I ever will.

Thank you if you read this, I know it's long but I feel like even posting this is going to take a weight off my shoulders, I've never talked about it to anyone. Rachel knows how bad I had it, I think, and that's why she understands my depressive moods and chooses to stay with me because she knows its only short phases in which I get depressive..