Marriage, will you?

[JamesGoblin]

Why not, if I find the right person - I was ready to do it as 15 YO or even younger (! silly kid), no prejudices there.

Just, the "technical" part of finding the right one remains... =)

 

[SmokeHut]

Why not, if I find the right person - I was ready to do it as 15 YO or even younger (! silly kid), no prejudices there.

Just, the "technical" part of finding the right one remains... =)

Well I listed a few reasons earlier in the thread as to 'why not'...

There are more 'why not's' than there are to positive reasons as to why.

Anyone who generally weighs decisions based on weight/value, pro/con, risk/reward can easily see the reasons not do so...

It's almost as if woman/man believe it's the responsibility for a man to be a resource to a woman. Just because it's providing a woman with security, doesn't make it a right.

If anyone can genuinely believe that risking half of their life-times work/earning based on a decision with next to no reward is naive at best. If it takes you 20 years to pay off your mortgage only to find your missus wants to leave with half of it, welcome to being financially in a position you were 10 years ago.

What pro's / con's can you list for your reasons as to 'why not'?

 

[Olympia]

No point in marrying, you are just taking an unnecessary gamble with your net worth. If the female suddenly decides that you are boring or not "satisfying" her needs, she can just screw you over by divorcing and taking most of your net worth. Never marry.

 

[ilovegold69]

No point in marrying, you are just taking an unnecessary gamble with your net worth. If the female suddenly decides that you are boring or not "satisfying" her needs, she can just screw you over by divorcing and taking most of your net worth. Never marry.

I thought the whole 1 household income thing was dying off anyway. If you marry someone knowing that they have no interest in working, isn't it at least kind of your fault? I don't want to defend the gold diggers, but marrying a woman can't just be an emotional decision.

 

After 5/10/20 years people change. To think that a person will remain the same throughout their entire life is retarded. You could of married a innocent sweet georgia peach. Now shes 300 lbs and mad at the world.

No point in marrying, you are just taking an unnecessary gamble with your net worth. If the female suddenly decides that you are boring or not "satisfying" her needs, she can just screw you over by divorcing and taking most of your net worth. Never marry.

These two things resonate with me. As you can see initially I was all for marriage because of equal partnership both of you working hard and what not but people do change. My ex girlfriend broke up with me a little while ago after 4 years for no reason other than she changed (I personally think she met someone else). But realistically you can't forsee how people change and it's not worth risking your networth for.

 

[SmokeHut]

I thought the whole 1 household income thing was dying off anyway. If you marry someone knowing that they have no interest in working, isn't it at least kind of your fault? I don't want to defend the gold diggers, but marrying a woman can't just be an emotional decision.

If you marry, then have kids or vice versa.. That's a pretty large amount of time the woman has to dedicate to not working. With current daycare prices at least here in the UK you'd need a full-time minimum wage to cover the cost of it. So in practise, it makes a lot more sense for the woman and/or whoever earns the least to take the time away from work. If your child doesn't start school fully until their at least 4-5 then having more than one child can range from 5-10 years out of work. In that time you'll of secured a house, paid a good chunk of it off, as well as other assets you'll of catered for. Only then to find after grabbing every bit of over-time to compete with the costs of living your wife decides to leave as you're 'never there' takes half of everything you've worked towards as well as taking your kids away. It makes a whole lot more sense to do the exact same thing without marrying.

 

[User Services]

Nope, I prefer being single and gaming all day, thats just me

 

yes currently 20 me and my gf own are house soon to be engaged we are perfect for each other we love the outdoors working out and most of all gaming

 

[BigDiggityDog]

Been with my girlfriend for 3 years right now and I can tell in about 10 years we wont be fit for eachother anymore sadly.

 

[Articus]

Who needs a girlfriend when you have Sythe? Isn't sythe supposed to be a girlfriend? But anyways I wouldn't, atleast what I think right now.

 

[DirtyS]

Getting a divorce does not necessarily mean you have to give up half your wealth, assets, etc. Infidelity on a wife's part would definitely change that.

I think if you love someone enough to get married then you wouldn't be worried about having the "power" in a relationship. You would probably trust them enough to not worry about that.

Although shallow, think of all the benefits that marriage comes with too. Tax benefits, estate planning benefits, government benefits, employment benefits, medical benefits, etc.

 

[poppa]

as a young man i always said i would never get married,after my then girlfriend got pregnant with our first kid i also said i would never get married,by the time my "girlfriend" got pregnant with our 2nd kid i was ready for the commitment. the thing is i didn't just commit to my then "girlfriend" i said yes to the whole family thing. crazy in-laws and all.to me it was an agreement to never give up on them,i know you say it is just a piece of paper,but when times were tough and it seems like walking away would be easier then staying,it's that thin piece of paper that i signed to stay with my family,till death do us part,that is what kept me home.I have never regretted getting married,and committing to family,i am happily married (but not always happy)

 

[SmokeHut]

as a young man i always said i would never get married,after my then girlfriend got pregnant with our first kid i also said i would never get married,by the time my "girlfriend" got pregnant with our 2nd kid i was ready for the commitment. the thing is i didn't just commit to my then "girlfriend" i said yes to the whole family thing. crazy in-laws and all.to me it was an agreement to never give up on them,i know you say it is just a piece of paper,but when times were tough and it seems like walking away would be easier then staying,it's that thin piece of paper that i signed to stay with my family,till death do us part,that is what kept me home.I have never regretted getting married,and committing to family,i am happily married (but not always happy)

I am too in a position with two kids. However, I don't need that piece of paper or vows for me to stay loyal and provide for the family. Are you saying without it you'd likely of left because it would of been easier? I doubt that very much.

 

[poppa]

I am too in a position with two kids. However, I don't need that piece of paper or vows for me to stay loyal and provide for the family. Are you saying without it you'd likely of left because it would of been easier? I doubt that very much.

i never needed a piece of paper to keep my vows and i have not worn a ring in about 18 years (i work construction and didn't wear it for safety. now i don't even know where it is lol ) i have been married just over 20 years.not all of it has been smooth sailing.I can not say for sure but i think that perhaps without that piece of paper,it would have been easier to leave the wife (i'd keep the kids)

 

Maybe in 10 years or something. Currently only 17 but I could imagine myself having a wife and kids in 10-15 years. But hard to tell

 

[JamesGoblin]

Well I listed a few reasons earlier in the thread as to 'why not'...

There are more 'why not's' than there are to positive reasons as to why.

Anyone who generally weighs decisions based on weight/value, pro/con, risk/reward can easily see the reasons not do so...

It's almost as if woman/man believe it's the responsibility for a man to be a resource to a woman. Just because it's providing a woman with security, doesn't make it a right.

If anyone can genuinely believe that risking half of their life-times work/earning based on a decision with next to no reward is naive at best. If it takes you 20 years to pay off your mortgage only to find your missus wants to leave with half of it, welcome to being financially in a position you were 10 years ago.

What pro's / con's can you list for your reasons as to 'why not'?

You are approaching it way too rationally and materialistically, life is not about counting or listing pros and cons. At least I never did it that way, if my heart tells me so - I'll do it

 

[Decap]

I sadly doubt that I will ever get married. Ever since I was a kid, both of my parents have cheated on each other, and put me right in the middle of it. My father would have a new girl every 2 weeks for years upon a time. When he finally found someone who was fantastic, cared about me, sometimes spoiled me(which my father did not know how to be a father), she would buy me clothes, take me out of lunch and I felt loved. Now he has a bitch wife who he hates, and is waiting till our dog dies so he can leave her.

 

[Logic]

You are approaching it way too rationally and materialistically, life is not about counting or listing pros and cons. At least I never did it that way, if my heart tells me so - I'll do it

The problem with this is that if everyone just lisened to their hearts then the divorce rate would be higher than it already is. Marrige requires a lot more than just lisening to your heart and the odds are that if SmokeHut ever got married then his marrige would likely last a lifetime cause of his high standards, but yours would likely be over within the 1st 2 years. That's the difference between lisening to your heart vs common sense.

 

[CompileTime]

It's funny how we can all read divorce statistics, but for some reason we think it's less likely to happen to us. Does it matter if the divorce rates are sky-high? Not one bit. That won't happen to me. I'm smarter than that. My partner and I are truly amazing snowflakes and nothing could ever go wrong between us.

Except for the people who have already been through this of course. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normalcy_bias

 

[Dixo]

I'm buzzing to get married, i've been with my GF for nearly a year now and cant see my future without her in it so i think it's gonna be sooner rather than later.

Maybe on the one year aniversery i'll pop onto one knee... how very cliche haha.