Marriage, will you?

[fragan77]

I'm not sure how you're coming to that conclusion.

I'd personally say that a couple are together because they want to be together is stronger than a couple who are 'married' i.e, forced by contract.

I could have left 3 years ago, I could leave today. She could've done the same.

What you need to consider is, when the two persons are in the relationship. You have one who is set to gain from a divorce and one who is set to loose from a divorce. That will become who holds the power. Because essentially, that is the power. The power to leave and financially ruin the other. Yet, face little persecution for their own actions. It enables one to be free and the other to be trapped. You take a fair relationship, make it unfair for yourself. For what benefit? Because #tradition?

Its not for the sake of tradition. Its a symbol that you are there till death do us part. People get married because its meaningful to them. Other people view it as a contract but I view it as an infinite bond that you share with someone you love. Some people just have different views on marriage and you see it as something that could de-power your relationship with someone while I view it as the opposite.

 

I think the idea is to find someone you wouldn't want to divorce.

After 5/10/20 years people change. To think that a person will remain the same throughout their entire life is retarded. You could of married a innocent sweet georgia peach. Now shes 300 lbs and mad at the world.

 

[SmokeHut]

Its not for the sake of tradition. Its a symbol that you are there till death do us part. People get married because its meaningful to them. Other people view it as a contract but I view it as an infinite bond that you share with someone you love. Some people just have different views on marriage and you see it as something that could de-power your relationship with someone while I view it as the opposite.

I see your point. However, being loyal to your partner and doing-by them well without the contract, is just as good? It's equally possible for a couple to stay together for their lifetime without it. For the easy assessment of a risk vs reward it is ever so increasingly negative.

Now, this isn't to say I don't agree with you. Marriage I agree with, it's a nice day.. It's a bond etc.. However, it seriously increases the females power in the relationship. Which isn't necessary, nor does it have anything to do with what you are saying. It's something that has been created through entitlement living in very olden day legalities.

My point isn't that marriage is bad, it's the laws that are in place currently to do with it.

Now to say, without a punishment for divorce, the marriage doesn't hold the same meaning. How come the punishment is one sided?

 

[fragan77]

I see your point. However, being loyal to your partner and doing-by them well without the contract, is just as good? It's equally possible for a couple to stay together for their lifetime without it. For the easy assessment of a risk vs reward it is ever so increasingly negative.

Now, this isn't to say I don't agree with you. Marriage I agree with, it's a nice day.. It's a bond etc.. However, it seriously increases the females power in the relationship. Which isn't necessary, nor does it have anything to do with what you are saying. It's something that has been created through entitlement living in very olden day legalities.

My point isn't that marriage is bad, it's the laws that are in place currently to do with it.

Now to say, without a punishment for divorce, the marriage doesn't hold the same meaning. How come the punishment is one sided?

Would you marry your partner if you don't have to worry about financial burdens after a divorce?

 

[SmokeHut]

Would you marry your partner if you don't have to worry about financial burdens after a divorce?

Probably not, but I wouldn't view it as a bad decision.

 

[fragan77]

Probably not, but I wouldn't view it as a bad decision.

In that case, what is limiting you in marrying the woman you love?

 

[SmokeHut]

In that case, what is limiting you in marrying the woman you love?

For me personally, there is no limitation. It's just not something I can consider with a well thought out answer.

Marriage to me, is just an elevation of the relationship. It's purely materialistic.

The difference between not having the punishment to the man makes a huge difference in terms of logic though. I'd be more inclined to be pushed into proposing if that was the case. I probably wouldn't consider it unless it was something she really wanted. I don't think it would do anything for me personally.

The problems with the punishment is the 'married' stage opposed to the 'divorced' stage. As, the power is one sided..

Say for example, you play a lot of video games. She doesn't like it when you're in a relationship together. However, little she can do. It's your hobby, and you enjoy to relax and have your 'me' time. In a marriage, it's very easy to say 'if you don't stop that, we're having a divorce'. So you either stop playing video games, or you're financially ruined. However, she likes to do something you dislike. You say 'you stop that or we are getting divorced' you enter financial ruin to prevent her action. It's just one-sided. I'm using this as an example, I'm not fond of controlling another person. Hence, my lack of lust towards a contract binding us together.

 

[Logic]

Like the commitment part, dislike the government part. Latter clearly outweigh the commitment, unless you find the perfect unicorn. And please don't fool yourself, these unicorns are rare. The divorce rate is around the 50%+ figure. Take it like this, 50% of people are so upset with their partner that they divorce and this doesn't mean that the other 50% are happy. A fair amount are married just to not lose 50% of their wealth, because of traditions etc.

If you'd ask me then I'd personally put it around <1% people who actualy find their unicorns. That seems like playing the loto. But I also believe that you can educate yourself to spot the unicorns and to dismiss the dangerous people. For me the reciepe for success would be: both parties being fluent in critical thinking, philosophy and psychology. Having a combo of those 3 would solve any problem that might come up. I can see me finding men who have these qualities, women not that much, time to go homo?

 

Selfishness comes with not marrying. Because you've said it yourself, there's financial advantages in not marrying.

I see marriage as long lasting. There's no such thing as divorce for me and I would rather find someone who I am 100% secured with than someone that I still have doubts with which clearly you do. It takes 2 people to have the same perspective and that's one of the things I look for in a person before committing myself in a relationship.

Is it really selfish if you don't want to marry someone? Two people can happily co-exist without an official document that says they're together. If I found another male or female who didn't want to marry as they wanted a secure hold on their assets I would see them as very financially aware and understanding that they may not find a partner who wishes to stay with them until death.

I see the stance of being open to marriage as very generous because you are effectively risking your assets on your belief that the other person is as committed to you as you are to them. That is something I am not willing to do in this modern era with the terms you have to agree to and divorce being so readily available.

 

[ariabot]

I feel like life is too short to let the idea that, "she may get half my estate" stop you from marrying. Marriage is a wonderful experience that brings unimaginable amounts of joy and happiness.
Regardless. money comes and money goes.

Why not just enter a life-long relationship with him/her? If you marry someone who turns out to have been lying about who he/her was they have the right to take away half your possessions. Will marrying someone actually increase your + your partner's happiness by that much compared to a life-long relationship? (given that you do everything in that relationship like raising children that one would normally do in a marriage)

 

[DoUmmahty]

I will never get legally married.

I just got royally fucked a couple weeks ago.

Dead in love with this girl and she with me. Fast forward 3 and some years and we are living together and pretty much are "married," even though we don't believe in the concept of marriage as others do. We didn't get legally married because we didn't feel the need to.

We both work, we both are pretty successful. We were going to merge banks to avoid hassles/complications. So I went ahead and filled her bank with my money and hers. And neglected to make it a merge.

One day she comes home from work and says it over and get out.(Was actually a pretty big shock believe it or not)

Long story a bit shorter she took everything. Trusting a woman. Terrible idea. She was a sweetheart to me literally every day.....until she wasn't. I don't know if I'll ever trust a woman again let alone trust her with my assets.

Luckily the things of most value to me are much harder to take away. Skills that can keep me afloat even when shit like this happens.

Rather unfortunate and sorry to hear. To be honest that would be one of my fears when going into marriage. Also as Xier0 said before, people change over 5-10-20 etc years. Not sure it's worth the risk for my personal preference.

 

[MohtasaUnique]

I'm married, and currently the benefits have far outweighed the detriments. Our supplementary income has helped with personal, auto, and housing loans, financial stability is helping our business ambition move apace, and not to mention my husband was previously on visa, and is now a legal citizen.

 

[Professor2]

Personally, I'm not crazy about the whole marriage idea and spending a fuckton of money just to prove that I love someone. But, if the person I was with wanted it badly enough, I could see myself caving for them. But I could never see myself initiating it on my own accord.

 

[Inva]

My parents never got married (Yes I'm a bastard). They just never felt that it was needed with the current position they were in. All their parents/brothers/sisters all got married so it doesn't run in our family. I believe one day I want to get married I just need to wait to find the right person.

 

[Speckt]

You don't need to get married. Firstly, getting married is very expensive and for most young couples it's not worth the expense. If your partner is heavily set on getting married and you're worried about the negative implications on your financial status should you divorce sign up for a prenup.

 

[ariabot]

You don't need to get married. Firstly, getting married is very expensive and for most young couples it's not worth the expense. If your partner is heavily set on getting married and you're worried about the negative implications on your financial status should you divorce sign up for a prenup.

Also, it's not like the paltry financial benefits you get from being married will make a large difference on your financial situation, in comparison to the massive risk you take on. Nothing lasts forever; this includes our feelings. To the people saying you will get married, are you truly ready to commit your life to someone for 2, 3, even 4 times the amount of time you have been on this planet, and do you trust your partner to do the same?

 

[Acquisition]

Also, it's not like the paltry financial benefits you get from being married will make a large difference on your financial situation, in comparison to the massive risk you take on. Nothing lasts forever; this includes our feelings. To the people saying you will get married, are you truly ready to commit your life to someone for 2, 3, even 4 times the amount of time you have been on this planet, and do you trust your partner to do the same?

Well, if you find someone you love as much as you love your siblings or parents your relationship/marriage could last up until death does you part. I love my family and nothing would ever diminish that love I have for my family. If you find that sort of love with your partner and they feel the same then you'll love each other until death.

 

[Rsps Buyer]

I personalty would never get married without prenup, (Stop money promblem) If the girl has problem with me wanting one they don't really love you simple as. Since i'm a man I see no problem with one.I personalty never plan on getting married and i made my mind up on that long time ago.

 

[Acquisition]

I personalty would never get married without prenup, (Stop money promblem) If the girl has problem with me wanting one they don't really love you simple as. Since i'm a man I see no problem with one.I personalty never plan on getting married and i made my mind up on that long time ago.

Agreed, a prenup would make any man feel safer because when you get divorced she'll end up leaving with half of what you earned.. Which I think is complete BS. Especially if the male earns the higher income, why should the wife be entitled to take half of his earnings simply because they were married? No wonder gold digging is such a lucrative market.

 

[Rsps Buyer]

Agreed, a prenup would make any man feel safer because when you get divorced she'll end up leaving with half of what you earned.. Which I think is complete BS. Especially if the male earns the higher income, why should the wife be entitled to take half of his earnings simply because they were married? No wonder gold digging is such a lucrative market.

If woman has higher income their actually meant to give man part, it more or less depends on their acids, more than anything else, the judges in court are more less easier on woman.