Lmfao this made my day.

sorcey · Jul 21, 2007

Iz Tha Thugsta said:

((((RING))))

(((RING)))

**Pick Up**

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Frank."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

Brief Pause...

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on
the
table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy
that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it
Daddy."

"And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on
the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and
he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I
guess
he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He
hit
the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??? .....Is this 555-7039??"
Click to expand...

Anouther

Iz Tha Thugsta said:

A CAT FALLS IN A POOL..A ROOSTER LAUGHS..WHAT'S THE MORAL OF THE STORY..? THE MORAL IS A WET PUSSY MAKES A HAPPY COCK!!!
Click to expand...

Rofl this really made my day omfg lol

Macroman · Jul 21, 2007

lmao , thats funny are there anymore?

billabong69 · Jul 21, 2007

Hehehe, nice.

Mike1337 · Jul 21, 2007

Lol, made me laugh...

sorcey · Jul 21, 2007

Sorry guys second one got a complaint in pm but here!

Iz Tha Thusta said:

Do you know me?
Body: A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken Aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I may be mistaken. but I thought you might be the father of one of my children".

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful....

"Holy crap", he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher."
Click to expand...

lmfao......
omg that fool is nuts today!
Got ONE MORE TO POST that will make you laugh but not gonna double post someone reply !

monga · Jul 21, 2007

Replied

Fear Da Ocelot · Jul 21, 2007

Originally Posted by Iz Tha Thusta
Do you know me?
Body: A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken Aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I may be mistaken. but I thought you might be the father of one of my children".

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful....

"Holy crap", he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher."
Click to expand...

Ahahahahaah this is a good one

Spereff · Jul 21, 2007

Lmfao. A wet pussy makes a happy cock. Rofl. Funny ones, nice.

juvenilepunk · Jul 21, 2007

omfg that is hilarious

only1lilflip · Jul 21, 2007

555-7039, that's pretty funny.

Im gay lol · Jul 21, 2007

Lol @ second one.

sorcey · Jul 21, 2007

yeah lol that guy makes up some funny shit lol

CodyX36 · Jul 21, 2007

Heh... those are pretty good.

magi · Jul 21, 2007

Sailors and Soldiers Should Be Friends! A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man's truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined.
Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said, "Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let's put this rivalry behind us." The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don't we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vodka? I have a bottle in the truck." The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said, "Thanks, but I'll wait till after the cops get here!"

Hehe =P

Hot Enough For You? After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.
There, he was greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.
James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.
Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged. As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!" An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

sorcey · Jul 23, 2007

magi said: ↑

Sailors and Soldiers Should Be Friends! A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man's truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined.
Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said, "Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let's put this rivalry behind us." The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don't we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vodka? I have a bottle in the truck." The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said, "Thanks, but I'll wait till after the cops get here!"

Hehe =P

Hot Enough For You? After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.
There, he was greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.
James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.
Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged. As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!" An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
Click to expand...

Lmfao At the first one really didnt get the second one heh.

nakeysaw · Jul 23, 2007

HAHA that was funny. I havnt loled all day thanks for posting that.

Cfrey · Jul 23, 2007

ooo nice so he killed 2 strangers he didn't know?

Eric · Jul 23, 2007

Made me lol irl

Mike-ownz · Jul 24, 2007

that was an alright joke i guess.

Oh Jesus · Jul 24, 2007

LOLOLOLOL the phone one was fucking hilarious hahaha...

The wet pussy one was original but funny too.

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