First rap lyric (rated good so far 7,6/10)

fist it up
i bonked it down
we kept on life
in struggle of time
goosebumps on my legs
we swaggy-swaggy it up
with the bumps on the trumps
anybody claimin' they pack heat
we scared to bowl the told
of the informative school
fuckface came, and reigned
we ruled the boy in da hood
with his trousers on his wool
wanna be a baller
listen to logic
he rap worse than me do
my lyrical skills prove points
far beyond what eminem and beyonce
could bounce in theyre tracks
banging banging we keep on flagging

This is my first rap lyric and it took around 6 hours to make, if you dont like, dont comment but please critise if u like because yeah, well, fuckfaces GL :laugh:

 

I really do not like these lyrics, and it has English errors that are unbecoming of even rap lyrics. Swaggy-swaggy.

 

I believe I could vomit up a better rap than this. 6 hours, what did you spend the 6 hours doing? This isn't even 16 bars, unless you're going to rap really, really, really slow. There is no flow, clever jokes, or any discernible theme.

OP surely you're trolling.

 

This x10

This is garbage. If you're going to troll, make it funny bad.

 

anybody claimin' they pack heat
we scared to bowl the told
of the informative school

is my best flow, learnn to write lyrics

 

it is literally complete shit.

 

OP if you really took any sort of time to write this you should an hero immediately.

Poor quality troll is poor quality

 

this is straight trash, no recycle
i got more bars on my bicycle. LOL

 

Dude, this is amazing.

 

Oh shittt.

OP you need to work on your lyrics.. swaggy swaggy really?

 

I stopped reading at Swaggy-Swaggy.

 

Swaggy swaggy really?...

 

you guys are just mad cuz u cant compete with me, fagfukos

 

my director claiming he be good for me and i learn lots of music stuff haha ;P

 

will u buy my ep when it comes? plz

 

OP your director/producer whoever is a fool. There are illiterate people who can write a better rap. If you aren't trolling then good god.

 

dam man, that shit is dank as fuk, you tryna drop an album anytime soon?

 

Sounds like he wants to make some money of you somehow..

swaggy-swaggy lol'd

 

if my director says it good its good. you have no talent in rap and lyrical possesion.