Is this immature for a 21 year old?

Ok so I have a sister who's 21. I'm 18.

Basically all my life I've had to deal with complete fuckery from my sister, let it be if I got something she wanted, she'd do something to sabotage it. I would classify my sister as someone who is a loner with little to no friends. She spends her days doing what she can to piss me or my younger sister off, who is now 13.

I'll give you guys a few recent examples. So she was the type to study a lot and shit and scored almost a perfect score on her final exams. I did decently/above average. However, even though she is 21 and is meant to be a matured adult and mind her own business, she'd mock me on how 'bad' I did, even though the score I got allowed me to do what I wanted, which is engineering at a top university here in aus.

Before I go any further, I'd just like to state that my mum is extremely over-protective, and has gotten better as I've turned 18. She let's me go out most of the time (legally I should be able to do whatever I want here in aus since I'm 18, but I live under my parents' roof so yeah). This brings me to my next point. I have always been the more social bee, with large friendship connections and shit. If I went to my mum and told her I'm gonna go out some place, my 21 year old sister would come and say how where I go everyone is violent and turns people into addicts and shit (this is when I tell my mum I'm going out to a nightclub with friends - keep in mind I've been multiple times since I've turned 18 and I'm still 'fine', I have decent self-control). If I would say I'm going over to a friends and staying over a night or two, my sister would list all this 'bad' shit that we could be doing, but in reality all we really do is play sport, eat tons and bring our rigs for a LAN party and play league all night (not loserish, we go out heaps too!). I've tried explaining to my mum that what my sister says is out of jealousy because she has never made friends of her own to be with and wants to ruin it for others. The sad part is, even though she does it to me, she's starting to 'ruin' my younger sister's social life. My mum tells my older sister to make sure my sister does all her homework and shit, but all my older sister does is nag my mum about how my younger sister does nothing and is 'retarded'. Long story short, my older sister tries to ruin either mine or my younger sisters social life because she has never had one of her own.

Just last night I have another example of my older sister's immaturity. So I'm sitting here playing league with my friends and shit and her laptop disconnects itself from the wifi. Keep in mind that every single other wireless device is working just fine. Instead of asking me or trying to consult the issue, she literally disconnects the modem while I'm in the middle of a game and takes it to her room. I initially thought my mum took it because of my younger sister sitting on facebook for too long - but no, to my surprise my older sister hides it with the following reason: "if I can't use the internet, no one can", and only gave it up after I stole her phone (lol, but works every time). Similar shit like this has happened multiple times, and not gonna list them since doing so would make this way too long.

I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do or advise her/my parents to do something about her immaturity. Like, I've seen 21 year olds then I see my sister who has the maturity levels of a 12 year old. You know, they say you should be able to share secrets with your siblings, but no not my older sister, as soon as she would find something out, she'd either go to my parents and tell them while adding her own negative opinion towards whatever it is or go around telling people about it.

Another thing that pisses me off is, my parents STILL seem to favour her opinion so much over mine. For example, just before I turned 18, I sat down with my parents and explained to them about the whole 'clubbing' scenario (my parents are asian), and I pretty much told them that there is a lot of alcohol, dancing etc but everything can be controlled. Then came my sister and literally told them by quote: "Those who go to nightclubs represent people who have no life and always end up doing drugs" <- that is one of about 10 'points' she made. And of course my parents listened to her and me going clubbing seriously pisses my parents off. There are heaps of other examples too but cbf explaining.

So yeah, what actions can I take? It seems I can't do shit without my sister having her own say and clouding the my parents' judgements on the actions I take/what I choose to do.

 

To be honest, I think your sister has some issues troubling her that she's keeping bottled up and it's coming across as resentment and jealousy. You mentioned she doesn't have many friends either; perhaps you should try being friendly or inviting to her rather than be pissed off. Ask her if she wants to go or something.

To me, it seems as though she needs someone to talk to rather than doing it out of nastiness/immaturity but I could be wrong.

 

This birch needs a reality check. Hire her a male prostitute and get her laid. Everyone needs to get laid every once in awhile.

 

Sounds like she's living vicariously through you if you ask me...She sees you going out, and having friends, something that she's always wanted. You'll find that living vicariously happens a lot between siblings.

I can't give you much advice, because it sounds like your situation is tight..But, try talking to her is the best I can give you.

 

I would just go at her neck solo. "Where are your friends?" "At least I'm actually doin' something rather than annoying people" "At least I have friends" etc. - That is just me though. This might put you deeper in the hole with her, but worth a shot if she doesn't get offended easy, but hopefully to back her off a little to think about you what you said to her.

 

sounds to me like shes jelous your doing well at school making friends ect and putting you down makes her feel better about her own insecurities

 

Let's be honest I grew up with little sisters and they didn't give me crap obviously age rules the household

 

Terrible advice.


If you want to burn bridges then go for it, but there's 100 better ways to handle it than that.
Kill her with kindness, strike up a conversation, do something fun as siblings together, just do SOMETHING that can help her feel included. Because it sounds to me like she's completely insecure about having no friends and her only go-to are her grades because she has nothing else. Anyways, your last resort should be to throw the friends thing in her face. You have friends and she doesn't, but you know that the only reason she's insulting/annoying you is to justify and make herself feel above you. Blatantly showing her insecurity about where she's at in life. Talk to her about why she's doing it, kill her with kindness, and see where it goes from there.

Best of luck man

 

Grow some balls. Older siblings may do this. I always bother my little sisters. It's nothing out of ordinary.

 

It does seem that her jealousy or mindset which has been previously scarred would have driven her to act the way she is. Being nice to her obviously would not cater to any solutions, so perhaps helping her gain some friends or social connections would help solve the problem.

Being Asian, my conservative parent's listen to my older brother a lot too, but with the right courtesy, patience & rationale, every thought can be wired differently. Good luck.

 

The day you move out and become a free man will be the best day of your life.

I can't comment too much, I don't have siblings so this isn't something I've had experience with.

However, it seems evident here that the real issue is your sister so you should try talking to her - explain how you feel and what affect her actions are having, how it's detrimental to your relationship and see how she responds.

From there, you can decide your next move and how it can play out.

 

just move out, and i agree shes a bitch.

 

Women,,, Trust me bro, Im glad my sissy don't act like that but just keep moving on in life

 

Its annoying but not abnormal

 

Meh sounds like my sister tbh

 

This, really. I usually give my younger sister all manners of shit to get on her nerves sometimes. 1) it is usually pretty funny to see her rage. 2) She is my sister and if I didn't give her hell she'd think something was wrong. 3) She gives it back.

 

Show her this thread or show it to your parents, maybe it will work

 

I have a brother exactly like this except he's a high-school dropout. My best advice is move out. You can try all of the nice sibling shit if you want, but it's ultimately not going to make them content with their own lives.

That brother is now 27 and still living at home by the way.